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phones
I'm scared of phoning people!
It's really getting me down as I'm getting to the stage where I really need to be able to phone Universities and stuff like that, but the thought just terrifies me.
I've always been like this ever since I can remember, When I phone a friend i usually get so out of breath while it rings that I have to hang up before they answer.
Is there such a thing as phone-phobia?
and how do I get over this?
It's really getting me down as I'm getting to the stage where I really need to be able to phone Universities and stuff like that, but the thought just terrifies me.
I've always been like this ever since I can remember, When I phone a friend i usually get so out of breath while it rings that I have to hang up before they answer.
Is there such a thing as phone-phobia?
and how do I get over this?
Scroll to see replies
i hate phoning people too, theres something about it that's just a little un-nerving...
i have social anxiety (or did have, i'm getting through it slowly) and this used to be a huge problem for me too. the only thing that will help you is to just face your fear.
that means taking it slowly, try phoning one person a week at first. wait until they answer and try to stay on the phone for a few minutes, increasing this every time. try with a friend first because it'll be easier than talking to people you don't know. unless you find that less scary anyway beause they dont know you lol it can be confusing can't it!
anyway, once you can have a proper conversation with someone once a week, try every few days, phoning friends or universities or whatever you choose.
the best thing for me was this:
get the yellow pages/phone book, pretend you're looking for a job. find the pages for shops/restaurants etc and phone a lot of places, just quickly ask them if they have ny jobs available etc. then as you keep phoning you'll find it gets easier and easier. just think they get phone calls all the time and they don't know you, they can't see you and it doesn't matter if you say things wrong or get nervous because it'll be over so quickly. if you do start to panic you can just put down the phone.
just push yourself every time, phone people you haven't spoken to for a while (this is still quite scary for me) phone everywhere you know you should be phoning, talk to people for longer if you can, it'll feel so good when you know it's not a problem anymore.
let me know how it goes!
that means taking it slowly, try phoning one person a week at first. wait until they answer and try to stay on the phone for a few minutes, increasing this every time. try with a friend first because it'll be easier than talking to people you don't know. unless you find that less scary anyway beause they dont know you lol it can be confusing can't it!
anyway, once you can have a proper conversation with someone once a week, try every few days, phoning friends or universities or whatever you choose.
the best thing for me was this:
get the yellow pages/phone book, pretend you're looking for a job. find the pages for shops/restaurants etc and phone a lot of places, just quickly ask them if they have ny jobs available etc. then as you keep phoning you'll find it gets easier and easier. just think they get phone calls all the time and they don't know you, they can't see you and it doesn't matter if you say things wrong or get nervous because it'll be over so quickly. if you do start to panic you can just put down the phone.
just push yourself every time, phone people you haven't spoken to for a while (this is still quite scary for me) phone everywhere you know you should be phoning, talk to people for longer if you can, it'll feel so good when you know it's not a problem anymore.
let me know how it goes!
I don't like phoning people. I used to spend hours on the phone most nights to friends and now I just don't like doing it. Even phoning my boyfriend is hard and that doesn't cost me anything and he doens't mind if I don't say much so awkward silent moments aren't a problem.
There isn't really much you can do other than face it as rubytuesday said. It is hard at first but it gets easier the more you do it. I've had to phone student loan company so many times that I hardly put it off anymore.
There isn't really much you can do other than face it as rubytuesday said. It is hard at first but it gets easier the more you do it. I've had to phone student loan company so many times that I hardly put it off anymore.
I used to be like that. I never used to phone anyone (for example the doctors, dentist etc), I always used to get my mum to do it for me and one day she just got really annoyed and said I had to face my fear and do it myself!
I started working in an office when I was 17 and therefore had to answer the phones, at which point I started feeling more confident about speaking to people over the phone, since then I hardly give it a second thought and am 100% confident when using the phone now.
I would suggest trying to phone as many people as you can to try and build your confidence, even if its just phoning people to ask random questions! After a while you will get used to it and hopefully wont have any problems. Dont worry about sounding stupid or anything like that, I can assure you that people wont notice if you make a mistake or sound a bit nervous.
I started working in an office when I was 17 and therefore had to answer the phones, at which point I started feeling more confident about speaking to people over the phone, since then I hardly give it a second thought and am 100% confident when using the phone now.
I would suggest trying to phone as many people as you can to try and build your confidence, even if its just phoning people to ask random questions! After a while you will get used to it and hopefully wont have any problems. Dont worry about sounding stupid or anything like that, I can assure you that people wont notice if you make a mistake or sound a bit nervous.
adverse_reaction
I started working in an office when I was 17 and therefore had to answer the phones, at which point I started feeling more confident about speaking to people over the phone, since then I hardly give it a second thought and am 100% confident when using the phone now.
I started working in an office when I was 17 and therefore had to answer the phones, at which point I started feeling more confident about speaking to people over the phone, since then I hardly give it a second thought and am 100% confident when using the phone now.
Exactly the same for me - when I started at Laura Ashley I was terrified of answering the phone, just couldn't do it. Now, when it's Sunday and the shop is empty I actively WANT the phone to ring so that I have something to do
I still don't like phones very much. I hate having to answer them at work because I'm always afraid it'll be someone wanting something I can't do for them, or ringing to complain, and I've never been told what to say/do about any of these things (the joys of temping!)
However, when it comes to ringing other people, I actually find it much easier ringing someone with a specific purpose (i.e. a bank or, in the OP's case, a university admissions office) than ringing someone just for a chat. This is because I have a set objective, I have something to achieve by the conversation so I can go about getting it, rather than it just being for a non-specific discussion.
You might find it easier if you either write down or at least formulate in your head some kind of structure to what you want to say. Keep the first bit short, in case you need to be put through to someone else (you don't want to be giving your life story lots of times!) - e.g. "Hello, I'd like to ask some questions about admissions for X subject." Once you're speaking to the right person, have a list of questions (mental or written down) and just work through them. I find if I have a mental plan for the conversation it's much easier and less scary than if I'm just ringing someone without quite knowing what to say.
However, when it comes to ringing other people, I actually find it much easier ringing someone with a specific purpose (i.e. a bank or, in the OP's case, a university admissions office) than ringing someone just for a chat. This is because I have a set objective, I have something to achieve by the conversation so I can go about getting it, rather than it just being for a non-specific discussion.
You might find it easier if you either write down or at least formulate in your head some kind of structure to what you want to say. Keep the first bit short, in case you need to be put through to someone else (you don't want to be giving your life story lots of times!) - e.g. "Hello, I'd like to ask some questions about admissions for X subject." Once you're speaking to the right person, have a list of questions (mental or written down) and just work through them. I find if I have a mental plan for the conversation it's much easier and less scary than if I'm just ringing someone without quite knowing what to say.
im awful at phoning people, i have a lisp and i get incredibly paranoid about it when they only have my voice to go on, this makes me nervous n then when im nervous my lisp gets worse (to me anyway, every1 else says its the same) ad so on ad nauseum. my solution...i just tried to avoid phoning people, which is a real crappy solution, ignore me
I wouldn't say I'm particularly scared of phoning people. I just don't like it.
Even stupid things, such as ringing to order a takeaway I try to avoid it if possible. And if I happen to get a mobile number from someone I haven't spoken to on the phone before, I hate hate hate it when they ring you or you want to ring them but just worry that there's going to be awkward silences or you're going to stutter over your words. But you do it in the end and all is fine! Sometimes, we just need to take a gamble and do something we would never usually do.
As people have suggested, take things slowly. You don't need to have an in depth conversation with someone. just a couple of minutes at first is a fantastic achievement.
Just don't ring any call centres for any help regarding anything to do with bank accounts, mobile phones, that kinda thing because you may not have the will to live when you hang up - I know I don't.
Good luck,
Sarah
Even stupid things, such as ringing to order a takeaway I try to avoid it if possible. And if I happen to get a mobile number from someone I haven't spoken to on the phone before, I hate hate hate it when they ring you or you want to ring them but just worry that there's going to be awkward silences or you're going to stutter over your words. But you do it in the end and all is fine! Sometimes, we just need to take a gamble and do something we would never usually do.
As people have suggested, take things slowly. You don't need to have an in depth conversation with someone. just a couple of minutes at first is a fantastic achievement.
Just don't ring any call centres for any help regarding anything to do with bank accounts, mobile phones, that kinda thing because you may not have the will to live when you hang up - I know I don't.
Good luck,
Sarah
sparkler
i had no idea this was a problem for so many people! i hatehatehate phoning people, even my closest friends sometimes..
i thought i must be really strange, but seeing you guys post here makes me feel a bit better - i'll get over it someday hopefully...
i thought i must be really strange, but seeing you guys post here makes me feel a bit better - i'll get over it someday hopefully...
Copycat!
I HATE phoning people usually. It's something about the awkward silences maybe, I don't know. I find that having a list pre-prepared topics of conversation - a phone strategy, I call it - before you phone people, makes it less difficult. If you have a purpose for making a phone call, it will make you less nervous. I hate speaking to people who are poor converser's though, it puts the onus on you to continue the conversation.
Anonymous
I'm scared of phoning people!
It's really getting me down as I'm getting to the stage where I really need to be able to phone Universities and stuff like that, but the thought just terrifies me.
I've always been like this ever since I can remember, When I phone a friend i usually get so out of breath while it rings that I have to hang up before they answer.
Is there such a thing as phone-phobia?
and how do I get over this?
It's really getting me down as I'm getting to the stage where I really need to be able to phone Universities and stuff like that, but the thought just terrifies me.
I've always been like this ever since I can remember, When I phone a friend i usually get so out of breath while it rings that I have to hang up before they answer.
Is there such a thing as phone-phobia?
and how do I get over this?
Email.
haha i'm not alone!!!
i used to really, really hate it, i can just about cope with it now, i'd still rather text someone. I stutter sometimes and it just makes me paranoid. When I do speak though people have to turn up the volume as I talk quietly. I am getting better though, Like I worked in the customer service at my last job so I was constantly on the phone.
But yeah whenever possible I try and get others to call up people for me
i used to really, really hate it, i can just about cope with it now, i'd still rather text someone. I stutter sometimes and it just makes me paranoid. When I do speak though people have to turn up the volume as I talk quietly. I am getting better though, Like I worked in the customer service at my last job so I was constantly on the phone.
But yeah whenever possible I try and get others to call up people for me
Helenia
You might find it easier if you either write down or at least formulate in your head some kind of structure to what you want to say. Keep the first bit short, in case you need to be put through to someone else (you don't want to be giving your life story lots of times!) - e.g. "Hello, I'd like to ask some questions about admissions for X subject." Once you're speaking to the right person, have a list of questions (mental or written down) and just work through them. I find if I have a mental plan for the conversation it's much easier and less scary than if I'm just ringing someone without quite knowing what to say.
Whenever you pass restaurants, get the numbers displayed on their signage on your phone and give them a quick prank call in your natural voice - asking questions about dishes that they are likely to have.
Then play with real people a little: dial a random local number, preceded by 141 to block your ID(!), on your phone. When someone answers, try to get him or her to recommend a good movie to watch. An easy way to do this would be to say something like "Hi! Is Lou/Sam there? No, well, maybe I can quickly ask you this instead - [And don't pause and give them a chance to speak here] I want to see a movie tonight, and was wondering if you’ve seen any good movies lately that you can recommend." Persist until they hang up or give you a movie. Thank them and get off the phone!
Ron Stoppable
Great idea! For smashing through the apprehension, there's two fun, simple ways:
Whenever you pass restaurants, get the numbers displayed on their signage on your phone and give them a quick prank call in your natural voice - asking questions about dishes that they are likely to have.
Then play with real people a little: dial a random local number, preceded by 141 to block your ID(!), on your phone. When someone answers, try to get him or her to recommend a good movie to watch. An easy way to do this would be to say something like "Hi! Is Lou/Sam there? No, well, maybe I can quickly ask you this instead - [And don't pause and give them a chance to speak here] I want to see a movie tonight, and was wondering if you’ve seen any good movies lately that you can recommend." Persist until they hang up or give you a movie. Thank them and get off the phone!
Whenever you pass restaurants, get the numbers displayed on their signage on your phone and give them a quick prank call in your natural voice - asking questions about dishes that they are likely to have.
Then play with real people a little: dial a random local number, preceded by 141 to block your ID(!), on your phone. When someone answers, try to get him or her to recommend a good movie to watch. An easy way to do this would be to say something like "Hi! Is Lou/Sam there? No, well, maybe I can quickly ask you this instead - [And don't pause and give them a chance to speak here] I want to see a movie tonight, and was wondering if you’ve seen any good movies lately that you can recommend." Persist until they hang up or give you a movie. Thank them and get off the phone!
This is hilarious!
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