Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

My life is a hell.. Watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Ok so here's my story.

    My parents are divorced and I live with my dad and have 2 sisters. They were divorced cos my mum had mental issues and they use to fight a lot. My dad got married again when I was 12. I'm now 18 and my elder is is little bit affected by the mental illness my mum had. The other sister and me are not affected by it.

    Problem: The relationship between us and my dad is not good. Why? Because according to him we are not good enough in any thing, be in education, religion or relations etc. He never spends time with us cos he never has time for us. When we were young, we were brought up by our grandparents and we are only emotionally attached to them. But now we have to live with our dad who says he loves us, but never shows care, never spends time with us, if we don't get good marks, he scolds us so badly. He always compare us to our mum who we've never been with and every time there's a fight at home, he says he's going to send us to our mother. He never understand the fact that he needs to be a bit more gentle with us since we've never had am other and we feel empty.


    I know I can do little, just suffer at this home and then leave afterward. Anyone in the same position? How do I avoid tensions?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    The only advice I can offer is to try to gain financial independence as soon as possible, and move out.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by TurboCretin)
    The only advice I can offer is to try to gain financial independence as soon as possible, and move out.
    I come from a very traditional Pakistani family, the only time I can move out of my dad's home is when I get married. But yeah I want to get a good education, complete my degree and then work. I really don't think I will ever get a good partner, my dad has made me hate all the men .

    Just now he is angry again, that's the only reason why I bothered to write my story on TSR. But thanks for reading what I had written.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok so here's my story.

    My parents are divorced and I live with my dad and have 2 sisters. They were divorced cos my mum had mental issues and they use to fight a lot. My dad got married again when I was 12. I'm now 18 and my elder is is little bit affected by the mental illness my mum had. The other sister and me are not affected by it.

    Problem: The relationship between us and my dad is not good. Why? Because according to him we are not good enough in any thing, be in education, religion or relations etc. He never spends time with us cos he never has time for us. When we were young, we were brought up by our grandparents and we are only emotionally attached to them. But now we have to live with our dad who says he loves us, but never shows care, never spends time with us, if we don't get good marks, he scolds us so badly. He always compare us to our mum who we've never been with and every time there's a fight at home, he says he's going to send us to our mother. He never understand the fact that he needs to be a bit more gentle with us since we've never had am other and we feel empty.


    I know I can do little, just suffer at this home and then leave afterward. Anyone in the same position? How do I avoid tensions?
    you could write and print a letter to him with your worries and concerns and just leave it on his bed or something. maybe if he finds out he's being a hard ass he might loosen up? but you know him better than i do.
    for all i know leaving a letter on his bed like that could earn you all a biblical ass whooping. so be careful.

    also where are your grand parents now?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by fojodef)
    you could write and print a letter to him with your worries and concerns and just leave it on his bed or something. maybe if he finds out he's being a hard ass he might loosen up? but you know him better than i do.
    for all i know leaving a letter on his bed like that could earn you all a biblical ass whooping. so be careful.

    also where are your grand parents now?
    I did try to talk to him about how he doesn't spends enough time with and that we feel that we are so unlucky cos we don't have a mother to guide us. He understood, gave me hug and said he'll try to take out time for us. But it never works, he just makes his mood when he doesn't see us doing what he wants us to do. He might love us but he says to everyone that we're so bad and disobedient. I'm not saying we're the most obedient children in the world but I'm sure we're not the most spoil ones too.

    They live here, but they're not well and we can't share anything with them cos of their health. If we try to talk to them, they would just give us lectures. I'll do anything but all I want is someone who understand me, who listens to my problem and my part of story and how my parents and their divorce has affected me. That's al, tbh.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I did try to talk to him about how he doesn't spends enough time with and that we feel that we are so unlucky cos we don't have a mother to guide us. He understood, gave me hug and said he'll try to take out time for us. But it never works, he just makes his mood when he doesn't see us doing what he wants us to do. He might love us but he says to everyone that we're so bad and disobedient. I'm not saying we're the most obedient children in the world but I'm sure we're not the most spoil ones too.

    They live here, but they're not well and we can't share anything with them cos of their health. If we try to talk to them, they would just give us lectures. I'll do anything but all I want is someone who understand me, who listens to my problem and my part of story and how my parents and their divorce has affected me. That's al, tbh.
    id try to speak to a councillor at school/college/uni. ask one of your staff members they will be able to lead you to one.

    samaritans number
    08457 90 90 90
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by fojodef)
    id try to speak to a councillor at school/college/uni. ask one of your staff members they will be able to lead you to one.

    samaritans number
    08457 90 90 90
    Thanks. I feel so sad cos I'm not the kind of girl who'd go on to tell people about her problems, but my dad has forced me to .
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks. I feel so sad cos I'm not the kind of girl who'd go on to tell people about her problems, but my dad has forced me to .
    no problem.

    be very careful contacting people off the internet though you can get some real manipulative sickos out there.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by fojodef)
    no problem.

    be very careful contacting people off the internet though you can get some real manipulative sickos out there.
    Haha. Thanks, don't worry I don't open up too easily to strangers but this is only cos I've been really upset cos of my dad.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I come from a very traditional Pakistani family, the only time I can move out of my dad's home is when I get married. But yeah I want to get a good education, complete my degree and then work. I really don't think I will ever get a good partner, my dad has made me hate all the men .

    Just now he is angry again, that's the only reason why I bothered to write my story on TSR. But thanks for reading what I had written.
    Traditional pakistani family's are broken homes with mentally ill parents? lol
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    Traditional pakistani family's are broken homes with mentally ill parents? lol
    Not every, infact this is one of the rare cases lol. Most of my Pakistani friends have peaceful homes. C'mon, don't generalise! Really don't want to get into that stereotype debate. Have a lot of other problems in my life.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not every, infact this is one of the rare cases lol. Most of my Pakistani friends have peaceful homes. C'mon, don't generalise! Really don't want to get into that stereotype debate. Have a lot of other problems in my life.
    you said you come from a very traditional pakistani family lol.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    you said you come from a very traditional pakistani family lol.
    As I said, this is a rare case. Only my parents have been divorced in my whole family. The problem is not being a Pakistani with divorced parents, its the effect of it. But no worries.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 11, 2014
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
    Useful resources
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.