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How do I tell him I had a miscarriage? Watch

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    Hey guys, well recently I found out that I had a miscarriage way back in March/early April time as was 3 months pregnant. I wasn't aware of the pregnancy as I had stress and severe depression as well as that, I had taken a pregnancy test back in December which told me I was fine (turns out I took it early).

    Anyway, the guy who got me pregnant was an ex friend of mine. I lied to him over a few small things and now he doesn't speak to me anymore. The reason I lied was because I had insecurities and was extremely misguided. Anyway, he forgave me but doesn't want to associate himself with me anymore which makes me incredibly upset.

    Because I found this out, I really do need advice on how to tell him. He needs to know as it will only end up playing on my mind for years. The problem is that I have lived a very unbelievable life and because I lied over something stupid, how is he going to believe me? I will have proof yes, but I don't know how to word it or even speak to him.

    Also, I do need him. I cant tell my parents or most of my friends and I need to talk to him about it all. I cant help but think that because of this miscarriage and pregnancy earlier, I behaved completely terrible towards him so it is embarrassing.

    Please help me try to explain things. I understand that I shouldn't have lied about whatever it was, but this is causing me a lot of emotional and physical pain.

    Thank you x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey guys, well recently I found out that I had a miscarriage way back in March/early April time as was 3 months pregnant. I wasn't aware of the pregnancy as I had stress and severe depression as well as that, I had taken a pregnancy test back in December which told me I was fine (turns out I took it early).

    Anyway, the guy who got me pregnant was an ex friend of mine. I lied to him over a few small things and now he doesn't speak to me anymore. The reason I lied was because I had insecurities and was extremely misguided. Anyway, he forgave me but doesn't want to associate himself with me anymore which makes me incredibly upset.

    Because I found this out, I really do need advice on how to tell him. He needs to know as it will only end up playing on my mind for years. The problem is that I have lived a very unbelievable life and because I lied over something stupid, how is he going to believe me? I will have proof yes, but I don't know how to word it or even speak to him.

    Also, I do need him. I cant tell my parents or most of my friends and I need to talk to him about it all. I cant help but think that because of this miscarriage and pregnancy earlier, I behaved completely terrible towards him so it is embarrassing.

    Please help me try to explain things. I understand that I shouldn't have lied about whatever it was, but this is causing me a lot of emotional and physical pain.

    Thank you x
    The only thing you can do is sit him down and tell him. You probably will have to give him some kind of proof, because from what you've said here, he might not believe you. The most important thing is to tell him in a way that won't make him think you are just looking for attention or trying to force your way back into his life. Be rational, be logical and be objective. Even if you don't feel it, fake it.

    I had a miscarriage too a couple years ago and I never told the father. It does stay with you.
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    (Original post by Nerol)
    The only thing you can do is sit him down and tell him. You probably will have to give him some kind of proof, because from what you've said here, he might not believe you. The most important thing is to tell him in a way that won't make him think you are just looking for attention or trying to force your way back into his life. Be rational, be logical and be objective. Even if you don't feel it, fake it.

    I had a miscarriage too a couple years ago and I never told the father. It does stay with you.
    thank you , yes, I hardly knew I was pregnant and if I don't tell him it will really kill me on the inside. I know what to say but it is difficult to word it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey guys, well recently I found out that I had a miscarriage way back in March/early April time as was 3 months pregnant. I wasn't aware of the pregnancy as I had stress and severe depression as well as that, I had taken a pregnancy test back in December which told me I was fine (turns out I took it early).

    Anyway, the guy who got me pregnant was an ex friend of mine. I lied to him over a few small things and now he doesn't speak to me anymore. The reason I lied was because I had insecurities and was extremely misguided. Anyway, he forgave me but doesn't want to associate himself with me anymore which makes me incredibly upset.

    Because I found this out, I really do need advice on how to tell him. He needs to know as it will only end up playing on my mind for years. The problem is that I have lived a very unbelievable life and because I lied over something stupid, how is he going to believe me? I will have proof yes, but I don't know how to word it or even speak to him.

    Also, I do need him. I cant tell my parents or most of my friends and I need to talk to him about it all. I cant help but think that because of this miscarriage and pregnancy earlier, I behaved completely terrible towards him so it is embarrassing.

    Please help me try to explain things. I understand that I shouldn't have lied about whatever it was, but this is causing me a lot of emotional and physical pain.

    Thank you x
    Since you are just doing it for yourself anyway, and for him nothing good will come of knowing, might as well just phone him if he doesn't want to meet up. Not like there is a nice way of doing it.
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    (Original post by SarcasticMel)
    Since you are just doing it for yourself anyway, and for him nothing good will come of knowing, might as well just phone him if he doesn't want to meet up. Not like there is a nice way of doing it.
    Yeh, I'll ring him and tell him. How he will take it I don't know :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey guys, well recently I found out that I had a miscarriage way back in March/early April time as was 3 months pregnant. I wasn't aware of the pregnancy as I had stress and severe depression as well as that, I had taken a pregnancy test back in December which told me I was fine (turns out I took it early).

    Anyway, the guy who got me pregnant was an ex friend of mine. I lied to him over a few small things and now he doesn't speak to me anymore. The reason I lied was because I had insecurities and was extremely misguided. Anyway, he forgave me but doesn't want to associate himself with me anymore which makes me incredibly upset.

    Because I found this out, I really do need advice on how to tell him. He needs to know as it will only end up playing on my mind for years. The problem is that I have lived a very unbelievable life and because I lied over something stupid, how is he going to believe me? I will have proof yes, but I don't know how to word it or even speak to him.

    Also, I do need him. I cant tell my parents or most of my friends and I need to talk to him about it all. I cant help but think that because of this miscarriage and pregnancy earlier, I behaved completely terrible towards him so it is embarrassing.

    Please help me try to explain things. I understand that I shouldn't have lied about whatever it was, but this is causing me a lot of emotional and physical pain.

    Thank you x
    More likely that any terrible behaviour was down to your stress and depression, I'd have thought.

    The way you're already trying to attribute things that have happened to something you didn't even know about until recently suggests to me that you're also somewhat hoping that telling him about this, and having him (ideally) believe and comfort you will bring the two of you closer together again. Try not to attach any such hopes or expectations to this conversation, as he may react badly. If you really feel you must tell him, then do so factually and objectively - not emotionally. So don't come pouring out with how you feel it affected you at the time even though you didn't know about it - I don't think it would garner much understanding or sympathy, as it does seem rather improbable. Just explain that you've found out what happened and wanted to talk it through with him, and that you'd appreciate his support.
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    (Original post by Musie Suzie)
    More likely that any terrible behaviour was down to your stress and depression, I'd have thought.

    The way you're already trying to attribute things that have happened to something you didn't even know about until recently suggests to me that you're also somewhat hoping that telling him about this, and having him (ideally) believe and comfort you will bring the two of you closer together again. Try not to attach any such hopes or expectations to this conversation, as he may react badly. If you really feel you must tell him, then do so factually and objectively - not emotionally. So don't come pouring out with how you feel it affected you at the time even though you didn't know about it - I don't think it would garner much understanding or sympathy, as it does seem rather improbable. Just explain that you've found out what happened and wanted to talk it through with him, and that you'd appreciate his support.
    thanks, I understand that, its just that my own family just say loads of stuff to me and it hurts me too much to not have anyone that is fully there.
 
 
 
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