Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

How to deal with jealous friends? Watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    A month ago my best friend stopped talking to me altogether and deleted me off all his social media. I don't know why, I tried calling and texting him but he never responded. I know where he lives so I could confront him now since I'm back in my home town where he still lives.


    Should I?



    I just feel robbed for all those years I invested in this friendship, I confided in him the most and he confided me in as well.

    I go through cycles of hating him then forgiving him and it's a viscious circle right now. A part of me will always hate him for treating me like this but a part of me wants to forgive him and possibly even forget him and become bffs again.



    I don't know, I feel like I'm being a door mat.



    I don't know what I did wrong to him. I just know that he has cut me out.


    I suspect he is jealous of me, he's always been second best to me. Though I never rubbed it in his face. I have a good degree (medicine) and he's doing some bogus course with terrible job prospects yet I always supported him when other people (including his own family) were putting him down.



    I just feel betrayed and hurt. :cry:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    well he obviously never liked you that much.....
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by idelaghetto)
    well he obviously never liked you that much.....

    Why would he spend hours talking to me each week and meeting me countless times and buying me presents if he didn't like me?

    He also confided me as I did with him, some of the stuff he told me about his family is not something a friend that doesn't like you shares with a supposed frenemy



    What we had was real!
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why would he spend hours talking to me each week and meeting me countless times and buying me presents if he didn't like me?

    He also confided me as I did with him, some of the stuff he told me about his family is not something a friend that doesn't like you shares with a supposed frenemy



    What we had was real!
    I had a mate like that. Have his guts now. Best to avoid people like him....They don't deserve our custom.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why would he spend hours talking to me each week and meeting me countless times and buying me presents if he didn't like me?

    He also confided me as I did with him, some of the stuff he told me about his family is not something a friend that doesn't like you shares with a supposed frenemy



    What we had was real!
    Maybe something pretty real is going on in his life and that's why he's stopped contact. How do you know he's deleted you off social media and hasn't just deleted them or deactivated his accounts.

    Sometimes if people are going through something heavy or severely depressed they kind of drop out of the social sphere because it's too much to deal with...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Ben_Dover)
    I had a mate like that. Have his guts now. Best to avoid people like him....They don't deserve our custom.
    You maybe right but not knowing him is killing me.



    (Original post by Temporality)
    Maybe something pretty real is going on in his life and that's why he's stopped contact. How do you know he's deleted you off social media and hasn't just deleted them or deactivated his accounts.

    Sometimes if people are going through something heavy or severely depressed they kind of drop out of the social sphere because it's too much to deal with...
    I know because he's contact with my other friends.


    And I know for a fact that he's carrying on as normal.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I meant Not knowing why he cut me out is killing me * Lol


    @ birke do you think?
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You maybe right but not knowing him is killing me.





    I know because he's contact with my other friends.


    And I know for a fact that he's carrying on as normal.
    Why is not knowing him killing you? He shouldn't be that important to you. I had a very close friendship from many years that wained slowly and painfully and I evenetually realised the guy was not worth knowing because he was a total ****. It was hard to let him go from my life because we were so inseparably close at first and I never thought he would change the way he did, but he did. People change. And it hurts. You can't do anything but invite more worthwhile people into your life, and have the self-respect and dignity to let your un-worthwhile friends go, regardless of how much time or energy you spent on them. Right now you're just adding to how much time you wasted on him by going over the loss, every minute you do that youre increasing the wasteage, right. So just forget him. Have some self-respect, you should get a lot of respect as a doctor, so Jaysus, have some respect for yourself.

    Also Are you actually being serious or is this a troll because I'm kind of sick of people on here trolling for advice. I mean why do it? It's such a dickish thing to do, people are taking time out to give others their advice. I don''t actually want to know what people brought up trolls because they are so messed up. I'm not saying you're a troll but if you are one, stop.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Temporality)
    Why is not knowing him killing you? He shouldn't be that important to you. I had a very close friendship from many years that wained slowly and painfully and I evenetually realised the guy was not worth knowing because he was a total ****. It was hard to let him go from my life because we were so inseparably close at first and I never thought he would change the way he did, but he did. People change. And it hurts. You can't do anything but invite more worthwhile people into your life, and have the self-respect and dignity to let your un-worthwhile friends go, regardless of how much time or energy you spent on them. Right now you're just adding to how much time you wasted on him by going over the loss, every minute you do that youre increasing the wasteage, right. So just forget him. Have some self-respect, you should get a lot of respect as a doctor, so Jaysus, have some respect for yourself.

    Also Are you actually being serious or is this a troll because I'm kind of sick of people on here trolling for advice. I mean why do it? It's such a dickish thing to do, people are taking time out to give others their advice. I don''t actually want to know what people brought up trolls because they are so messed up. I'm not saying you're a troll but if you are one, stop.

    You're making it sound like I'm in love with him. We were incredibly close this why I'm finding it so hard to let go of that friendship. I need closure, I need to know why. I'm incredibly conscientious in my everyday life and this includes maintaining friendships, I cannot help how I feel. I cannot turn it off believe me I have tried.


    I have a lot of respect for myself it's not like I'm thinking about him all the time. I have other friends but I'm afraid to commit fully to those friendships for fear of being betrayed like this again. I have my walls up now.


    If this is were a troll it'd be a pretty boring one, no? If I were a troll I would have added something about a girl coming between us and somehow blaming ALL women for my problems.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You're making it sound like I'm in love with him. We were incredibly close this why I'm finding it so hard to let go of that friendship. I need closure, I need to know why. I'm incredibly conscientious in my everyday life and this includes maintaining friendships, I cannot help how I feel. I cannot turn it off believe me I have tried.


    I have a lot of respect for myself it's not like I'm thinking about him all the time. I have other friends but I'm afraid to commit fully to those friendships for fear of being betrayed like this again. I have my walls up now.


    If this is were a troll it'd be a pretty boring one, no? If I were a troll I would have added something about a girl coming between us and somehow blaming ALL women for my problems.
    Listen to yourself. Don't make it sound like I'm the one who made it sound like you're in love with him, when in reality you are sounding that way.
    And you're welcome for the advice.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Temporality)
    Listen to yourself. Don't make it sound like I'm the one who made it sound like you're in love with him, when in reality you are sounding that way.
    And you're welcome for the advice.

    What advice?



    You told me to basically switch off my emotions akin to some robot, perhaps you can, I however cannot do that. Perhaps it may be easier for someone with an aloof (read: psychopathic) demeanour. :confused:

    You're failing to discern genuine feelings of friendship, that is, missing him and craving closure for a 8-year strong friendship. It's evident by now that you have no clue on how the most basic relationships work never mind distinguishing love from friendship maybe it's because you've never had that and as a result you don't know how it feels to have a homie.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What advice?



    You told me to basically switch off my emotions akin to some robot, perhaps you can, I however cannot do that. Perhaps it may be easier for someone with an aloof (read: psychopathic) demeanour. :confused:

    You're failing to discern genuine feelings of friendship, that is, missing him and craving closure for a 8-year strong friendship. It's evident by now that you have no clue on how the most basic relationships work never mind distinguishing love from friendship maybe it's because you've never had that and as a result you don't know how it feels to have a homie.
    How dare you judge me like that without knowing me. You know nothing of my friendships or relationships. I think you're projecting your psychopathic tendancies onto me. Goodness me, the kind of weirdos they have as doctors nowadays.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Temporality)
    How dare you judge me like that without knowing me. You know nothing of my friendships or relationships. I think you're projecting your psychopathic tendancies onto me. Goodness me, the kind of weirdos they have as doctors nowadays.


    Troll. I'm off to sleep.
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You maybe right but not knowing him is killing me.





    I know because he's contact with my other friends.


    And I know for a fact that he's carrying on as normal.
    He's a leech. He's sucker everything of.you and moved on. Probably best to hang with your other friends before he Sucks more stuff out of you
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    You need to confront him, demand an explanation as to why he's cut you out, then from there you can decide how to deal with the issue.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by moecandy)
    You need to confront him, demand an explanation as to why he's cut you out, then from there you can decide how to deal with the issue.

    This is what I want to do but I'm not sure I should even give him the time of day. I'm scared that our friendship will be over though after that ignoring the issue like I have done so far gives me hope.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Bumpity
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Only one side of the story, I suspect the OP is a 'high maintenance' friend.

    Either way no-one is obliged to be friends with anyone else, so as much as it's upsetting you gotta just try and get over it.

    Being eaten by anger only hurts you.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Studentus-anonymous)
    Only one side of the story, I suspect the OP is a 'high maintenance' friend.

    Either way no-one is obliged to be friends with anyone else, so as much as it's upsetting you gotta just try and get over it.

    Being eaten by anger only hurts you.

    Why do you think I'm high maintenance?


    This is a male friendship btw.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A month ago my best friend stopped talking to me altogether and deleted me off all his social media. I don't know why, I tried calling and texting him but he never responded. I know where he lives so I could confront him now since I'm back in my home town where he still lives.


    Should I?



    I just feel robbed for all those years I invested in this friendship, I confided in him the most and he confided me in as well.

    I go through cycles of hating him then forgiving him and it's a viscious circle right now. A part of me will always hate him for treating me like this but a part of me wants to forgive him and possibly even forget him and become bffs again.



    I don't know, I feel like I'm being a door mat.



    I don't know what I did wrong to him. I just know that he has cut me out.


    I suspect he is jealous of me, he's always been second best to me. Though I never rubbed it in his face. I have a good degree (medicine) and he's doing some bogus course with terrible job prospects yet I always supported him when other people (including his own family) were putting him down.




    I just feel betrayed and hurt. :cry:
    lmao. :rolleyes:

    You're one of those medic students. No wonder he blocked you.


    edit: Just read through the thread. You sound like a clingy teenage girl lmao.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 12, 2014
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.