I don't feel like a man - please give me some enlightenment Watch

Anonymous #1
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I have some serious insecurity issues with respect to my sexual attractiveness as a male. I have a decent looking face (good stubble, get eye contact in public etc) but I am small and a 'petite' version of a male. In addition to this, my penis is below average both girth and length. I don't have the stockiness, broad shoulders or big arms that can be attributed with an attractive manly man. Lifting weights is not something I really want to invest my time in, because it's not who I am.

Most of my strengths and offerings as a person are of mental and intellectual type. I'm reasonably intelligent, caring, friendly and prefer to understand people rather than judge. I've had plenty of interest from females who got to know me out of coincidence (i.e. living in shared house at uni, course mates etc), but since leaving university, it's incredibly difficult to display your non-physical attractiveness as a person if they don't have much unforced exposure to you. It usually takes one or two months for someone to unravel the essence of who I am as a person; this is not something I can really portray in a bar or club during the space of an hour.

Whenever I see a girl in public that I like, I get a sudden rush of sadness, insecurity and just a feeling of inadequacy, considering I am surrounded by tall manly men everywhere. I have much to offer as a person, and I would make sure my partner feels loved and properly caressed in the bedroom despite my physical shortcomings, but this mental block is preventing me from making any progress in my dating life.

Would appreciate some advice, especially from females.
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Anonymous #1
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I should also note that my attempts at online dating have been disastrous, most probably because it's all so superficial and filter based.
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ilem
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I don't really understand what you're asking here. If you want to get bigger then lifting weights is your only option.
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Stinkum
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yeah same here
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Anonymous #1
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The question is how do you find love interest if people have to get to know you before they like you first? That seems to be much easier in university than after you have graduated. You just don't get the same consistent exposure/environment.

I don't have the typical manly, well built looks of an attractive male, hence the normal strategies don't work.

Also I have no interest in weightlifting. I already have too many interests and weightlifting is not an investment I care about too much.
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ilem
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The question is how do you find love interest if people have to get to know you before they like you first? That seems to be much easier in university than after you have graduated. You just don't get the same consistent exposure/environment.

I don't have the typical manly, well built looks of an attractive male, hence the normal strategies don't work.

Also I have no interest in weightlifting. I already have too many interests and weightlifting is not an investment I care about too much.
Surely it's a good thing to get to know people before dating them. It suggests that the person is interested in more than just your looks, which is a good foundation for a relationship; much better than just physical attraction anyway.

I don't think you should consider yourself unattractive because women aren't fawning over you when first meeting you. Personally I don't find people attractive romantically straight away, and I suspect that to be the case for the majority of the population. I can appreciate if someone looks good but that doesn't mean I want to immediately jump their bones or start dating them. Exposure to the person makes them significantly more attractive if our personalities happen to mesh well. Just because women aren't immediately interested does not mean that your looks are subpar.

As for how to meet people, invest time in various long-term endeavours, like volunteering, hobbies, etc. You will meet people and expand your social circle by getting introduced to their friends and eventually you will meet someone you like. That's probably how most people find their partners.
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Horny Cabbage
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Just curious how small are you? You might not be as small as you think idk


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garfeeled
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have some serious insecurity issues with respect to my sexual attractiveness as a male. I have a decent looking face (good stubble, get eye contact in public etc) but I am small and a 'petite' version of a male. In addition to this, my penis is below average both girth and length. I don't have the stockiness, broad shoulders or big arms that can be attributed with an attractive manly man. Lifting weights is not something I really want to invest my time in, because it's not who I am.


Most of my strengths and offerings as a person are of mental and intellectual type. I'm reasonably intelligent, caring, friendly and prefer to understand people rather than judge. I've had plenty of interest from females who got to know me out of coincidence (i.e. living in shared house at uni, course mates etc), but since leaving university, it's incredibly difficult to display your non-physical attractiveness as a person if they don't have much unforced exposure to you. It usually takes one or two months for someone to unravel the essence of who I am as a person; this is not something I can really portray in a bar or club during the space of an hour.


Whenever I see a girl in public that I like, I get a sudden rush of sadness, insecurity and just a feeling of inadequacy, considering I am surrounded by tall manly men everywhere. I have much to offer as a person, and I would make sure my partner feels loved and properly caressed in the bedroom despite my physical shortcomings, but this mental block is preventing me from making any progress in my dating life.


Would appreciate some advice, especially from females.

Studies indicate that most men underestimate the size of the penis. Looking down on it makes it look smaller than look from below or I front. In addition most men overestimate the average penis size. Most likely due to the same reason.

in regards to the whole public place thing I wouldn't worry about that. If you are after a relationship it is unlikely to start from just a single meeting. Most of the time ( at least from my experience) relationships only form if you are regularly in contact with that person. They may be girls that go to the same club on a regular bases, or go to the same cafe or shop. If you need a while for them to get to know you then it is not impossible. There will be many girls out there that you will see ( or can see) on a regular bases.
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fojodef
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have some serious insecurity issues with respect to my sexual attractiveness as a male. I have a decent looking face (good stubble, get eye contact in public etc) but I am small and a 'petite' version of a male. In addition to this, my penis is below average both girth and length. I don't have the stockiness, broad shoulders or big arms that can be attributed with an attractive manly man. Lifting weights is not something I really want to invest my time in, because it's not who I am.

Most of my strengths and offerings as a person are of mental and intellectual type. I'm reasonably intelligent, caring, friendly and prefer to understand people rather than judge. I've had plenty of interest from females who got to know me out of coincidence (i.e. living in shared house at uni, course mates etc), but since leaving university, it's incredibly difficult to display your non-physical attractiveness as a person if they don't have much unforced exposure to you. It usually takes one or two months for someone to unravel the essence of who I am as a person; this is not something I can really portray in a bar or club during the space of an hour.

Whenever I see a girl in public that I like, I get a sudden rush of sadness, insecurity and just a feeling of inadequacy, considering I am surrounded by tall manly men everywhere. I have much to offer as a person, and I would make sure my partner feels loved and properly caressed in the bedroom despite my physical shortcomings, but this mental block is preventing me from making any progress in my dating life.

Would appreciate some advice, especially from females.
believe it or not this is just a thing to do with confidence and even guys with the things you claim you lack have experienced this.

i would do weights and boxing personally. but you dont want to do that.
your issues are mainly social and thats not unusual. most guys dont go up to girls and get their numbers and stuff. and most girls ever had a real relationship from that.

personally i'd go india if i was you. study over there. your small stature and penis wont stand out there. they are more open minded. and have some really small guys with really small penises so you may even be above them in the stature and **** size department.
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cdude
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Research NoFap, it's pretty good
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