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I don't understand heartbreaks. Watch

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    I was in a 'relationship' which lasted for roughly two years and my ex broke up with me a few days ago. This did hurt me and is hurting but what I don't get is I simply don't care about her anymore (reasons I won't go into, just long) and I really want to get over her but yet I can't.

    I always thought that people have a hard time getting over a break up because they always think about the other person and want to get back with them and therefore it takes longer to get over them, but for the people that really want to move on, get on with their lives and genuinely don't want to get back with there ex, why doesn't that feeling go away completely?

    To those who are 'experienced' with heartbreaks (sorry ), please share you experience and how you eventually got over it.
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    (Original post by HassanD)
    I was in a 'relationship' which lasted for roughly two years and my ex broke up with me a few days ago. This did hurt me and is hurting but what I don't get is I simply don't care about her anymore (reasons I won't go into, just long) and I really want to get over her but yet I can't.

    I always thought that people have a hard time getting over a break up because they always think about the other person and want to get back with them and therefore it takes longer to get over them, but for the people that really want to move on, get on with their lives and genuinely don't want to get back with there ex, why doesn't that feeling go away completely?

    To those who are 'experienced' with heartbreaks (sorry ), please share you experience and how you eventually got over it.
    Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be that simple.
    I don't think this will be much help, but I wanted to comment because I'm in the same sort of situation as you! My relationship ended a while ago and I was the one who was hurt. Honestly don't care about the guy I was with, I don't want to know what he's doing and I don't want him back, but I'm still not over it.

    I don't think accepting that you don't want to go back with them/letting go of them is the same as being over the relationship completely. You can accept that they're a douche and that you deserve better, yet still think about the relationship and the good times. That's the problem I'm having - I don't miss him and how we were towards the end, but I sit and think about what it was like before. And how much he hurt me.

    I think it's okay to not be over it, it doesn't mean you want them back, it's just difficult when someone's been a big part of your life, especially when you've been with them for two years! You're allowed to hurt.
    I think that feeling will definitely go away though, just gotta give it time (:
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    I was heartbroken when my other half died. It tore my soul right out, I felt like I was a whole other person half of the time.
    Anyway, long story short, some guy dressed as a Bat pushed me off a roof. Problem solved.
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    Hi there. I'm sorry to hear about this. Unfortunately, I've never 'fallen in love' (thus never 'fallen out of love'), but I can provide some possible answers:

    You say you've spent around 2 years, which is a pretty long time, together, presumably with each other a fair bit. You've clearly bonded, which explains your hurt, and also why you can't get over this - because you are so used to her being around that it's strange without her. As to your apathy about her - you're angry that she's taken something away from you, which is herself.

    Why does the feeling linger? Because you've spent SOO much time and energy together - it doesn't want to seem wasted, nor do you want the 'good times' to have ended.

    I hope this helps a bit!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be that simple.
    I don't think this will be much help, but I wanted to comment because I'm in the same sort of situation as you! My relationship ended a while ago and I was the one who was hurt. Honestly don't care about the guy I was with, I don't want to know what he's doing and I don't want him back, but I'm still not over it.

    I don't think accepting that you don't want to go back with them/letting go of them is the same as being over the relationship completely. You can accept that they're a douche and that you deserve better, yet still think about the relationship and the good times. That's the problem I'm having - I don't miss him and how we were towards the end, but I sit and think about what it was like before. And how much he hurt me.

    I think it's okay to not be over it, it doesn't mean you want them back, it's just difficult when someone's been a big part of your life, especially when you've been with them for two years! You're allowed to hurt.
    I think that feeling will definitely go away though, just gotta give it time (:
    What if you didn't think about the good times and how much he hurt you, would you be over it by now? I know it's normal to hurt but it's quite a depressing feeling and it kills your mood which in turn affects everything else you do.
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    (Original post by Mattvr)
    Hi there. I'm sorry to hear about this. Unfortunately, I've never 'fallen in love' (thus never 'fallen out of love'), but I can provide some possible answers:

    You say you've spent around 2 years, which is a pretty long time, together, presumably with each other a fair bit. You've clearly bonded, which explains your hurt, and also why you can't get over this - because you are so used to her being around that it's strange without her. As to your apathy about her - you're angry that she's taken something away from you, which is herself.

    Why does the feeling linger? Because you've spent SOO much time and energy together - it doesn't want to seem wasted, nor do you want the 'good times' to have ended.

    I hope this helps a bit!
    Consider yourself lucky and accomplish the things you want to do in life before falling in love. Maybe you're right, we did spend a lot of times together and so I am not using to her not being around but I haven't I never wished that the 'good times' didn't end I simply don't care and want to get on with my life. Since the break up I haven't thought about one good thing we have had or done, I just thought about getting on with my life but still it's not really working.
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    (Original post by HassanD)
    What if you didn't think about the good times and how much he hurt you, would you be over it by now?
    Yeah I believe I would. It's the wasting time still thinking about those things that still makes me feel crappy and it's then that I realise I still have to get over it.
    In my eyes, "being over it" means not only not caring about them any more, but also not thinking about them or the relationship you had with them. So I'd only consider myself over it if it didn't randomly cross my mind any more.

    (Original post by HassanD)
    I know it's normal to hurt but it's quite a depressing feeling and it kills your mood which in turn affects everything else you do.
    Yup I agree, it's ****. But at first, I just did my best to distract myself and hang out with people who avoided the topic and made me laugh. And I've just told myself that eventually I won't think about it any more. I'd much rather forget he existed, but unfortunately that's not gonna happen As I said, just giving it time!
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    (Original post by HassanD)
    Maybe you're right, we did spend a lot of times together and so I am not using to her not being around but I haven't I never wished that the 'good times' didn't end I simply don't care and want to get on with my life. Since the break up I haven't thought about one good thing we have had or done, I just thought about getting on with my life but still it's not really working.
    Relationship breakdowns are a bit like death - there's vital stages to get through it quickly, and properly. It'll be hard, but maybe contemplate the good things that happened, all of the memories, and the highlights of the time together - it may help you accept everything is over, which will knock you down, but then you can stand up again, new, refreshed and ready to face the world! It is the first steps to acceptance, then your body naturally 'mourns' from there.

    I truly hope things improve! I know they will, and so do you, if you want them to!
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    (Original post by Mattvr)
    Relationship breakdowns are a bit like death - there's vital stages to get through it quickly, and properly. It'll be hard, but maybe contemplate the good things that happened, all of the memories, and the highlights of the time together - it may help you accept everything is over, which will knock you down, but then you can stand up again, new, refreshed and ready to face the world! It is the first steps to acceptance, then your body naturally 'mourns' from there.

    I truly hope things improve! I know they will, and so do you, if you want them to!
    I think I am at the stage where my body is naturally mourning and I hope it goes away quickly. But I learnt my lessons, no more relationships till I finish university.
 
 
 
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