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I'm not comfortable speaking to guys unless I'm drunk. Watch

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    I've recently realised that I cannot speak to males of my own age unless I am at least a little bit tipsy. How can I get over this? It's awful. When I'm sober I always mix up my words and don't look them in the eyes and generally just look like an anxious mess, but when I'm tipsy I feel a lot more confident.

    Any help would be appreciated. Thanks
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    Seems like you are the female version of Raj from the big bang theory. Try making friends with some guys who you aren't attracted to and you will get more confidence
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    (Original post by NooNoo1)
    Seems like you are the female version of Raj from the big bang theory. Try making friends with some guys who you aren't attracted to and you will get more confidence
    I don't think I've ever had a guy as a friend! I don't know how to make friends with them either And yes I might just be the female version of Raj! Except in my case, I can actually talk to guys, I just say the wrong things and make a fool out of myself
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't think I've ever had a guy as a friend! I don't know how to make friends with them either And yes I might just be the female version of Raj! Except in my case, I can actually talk to guys, I just say the wrong things and make a fool out of myself
    i know how you feel but just imagine that they are like a girl. Do you say the wrong stuff to girls also? dont think of them as potential partners but just a friend and it will be alot easier
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't think I've ever had a guy as a friend! I don't know how to make friends with them either And yes I might just be the female version of Raj! Except in my case, I can actually talk to guys, I just say the wrong things and make a fool out of myself
    Why? I thought only guys got shy
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    Just talk to them like normal people :\
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    (Original post by redferry)
    Just talk to them like normal people :\
    Woah, don't give away our secret.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've recently realised that I cannot speak to males of my own age unless I am at least a little bit tipsy. How can I get over this? It's awful. When I'm sober I always mix up my words and don't look them in the eyes and generally just look like an anxious mess, but when I'm tipsy I feel a lot more confident.

    Any help would be appreciated. Thanks
    Imagine them naked, and with vaginas instead of penises.
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    (Original post by TheAnusFiles)
    Why? I thought only guys got shy
    I swear girls get more nervous than guys?!

    (Original post by NooNoo1)
    i know how you feel but just imagine that they are like a girl. Do you say the wrong stuff to girls also? dont think of them as potential partners but just a friend and it will be alot easier
    Thanks! To friends I don't mess up my words or anything. I guess it's also with new people in general as well, regardless of gender

    (Original post by redferry)
    Just talk to them like normal people :\
    I try and fail.

    (Original post by Ferris Bueller)
    Imagine them naked, and with vaginas instead of penises.
    I don't really have a problem with that, but thanks for your advice
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    I'm the same way but not with just guys, with anyone. It's frustrating.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    I try and fail.
    Let's be honest here, your problem is that you're a little bit sexist. You see men as this totally different person when they really arent and you need to just talk to them as you would a girl. That is the first thing you need to get over. Have you got any male relatives you can talk to?
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    I dont think I'd ever pull without being a bit boozed up tbh
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    Well practice makes perfect. It's not a good thing that you can only talk to them if you have drink in you.


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've recently realised that I cannot speak to males of my own age unless I am at least a little bit tipsy. How can I get over this? It's awful. When I'm sober I always mix up my words and don't look them in the eyes and generally just look like an anxious mess, but when I'm tipsy I feel a lot more confident.

    Any help would be appreciated. Thanks
    when babies learn to walk they fall a lot.

    like babies try to walk, you need to try n talk to guys sober.
    you both might fall flat on your face along the way.

    no baby that learned to walk never fell.

    just do it. experience best case and worst case.
    the more you do it the more experience the better and more confident you will get.
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    Talk to them as you would a sibling. Be chummy! !!

    But literally you got to stop caring what they think. They're not the most important thing in life. And I doubt they care what you think. So bee freeee.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    Let's be honest here, your problem is that you're a little bit sexist. You see men as this totally different person when they really arent and you need to just talk to them as you would a girl. That is the first thing you need to get over. Have you got any male relatives you can talk to?
    Please explain to me how lack of self-confidence makes me sexist. Maybe I didn't make it clear enough that I also have trouble talking to both sexes if I am not familiar with them. The original post was actually referring to guys my age, so I have absolutely no problem with speaking to relatives.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please explain to me how lack of self-confidence makes me sexist. Maybe I didn't make it clear enough that I also have trouble talking to both sexes if I am not familiar with them. The original post was actually referring to guys my age, so I have absolutely no problem with speaking to relatives.
    I meant relatives your age, apologies.

    And OK, so you can't talk to anyone your age? If it was just guys of course its unintentionally sexist, as you are treating them very different to women and see them as being almost 'abnormal'. Anyway, in the case of not being able to speak to anyone your age all you can do is work really hard to get over it. Put yourself into social situations as much as possible, step out your comfort zone at every opportunity. If that is too much for you you may have some serious social anxiety problems so it may be worth seeing a councillor and/or doing some CBT.

    There's actually a thread on here for people with social anxiety to talk
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    (Original post by Zürich)
    I dont think I'd ever pull without being a bit boozed up tbh
    It's nice to know I'm not the only one

    (Original post by Malevolent)
    Well practice makes perfect. It's not a good thing that you can only talk to them if you have drink in you.


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    I know it's not a good thing, but I can't help it I'm going to university in September and I'm really hoping that it'll change.

    (Original post by fojodef)
    when babies learn to walk they fall a lot.

    like babies try to walk, you need to try n talk to guys sober.
    you both might fall flat on your face along the way.

    no baby that learned to walk never fell.

    just do it. experience best case and worst case.
    the more you do it the more experience the better and more confident you will get.
    Thanks That was an interesting way of looking at it!

    (Original post by anonymouspie227)
    Talk to them as you would a sibling. Be chummy! !!

    But literally you got to stop caring what they think. They're not the most important thing in life. And I doubt they care what you think. So bee freeee.
    I'm an only child so I guess that explains why I'm developing so late :/ and I know they're not the most important thing, but it would be nice to have some experience without my nerves getting in the way.

    Thanks
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's nice to know I'm not the only one




    I know it's not a good thing, but I can't help it I'm going to university in September and I'm really hoping that it'll change.



    Thanks That was an interesting way of looking at it!



    I'm an only child so I guess that explains why I'm developing so late :/ and I know they're not the most important thing, but it would be nice to have some experience without my nerves getting in the way.

    Thanks
    Honestly you probably want to fix that before uni. Uni= drinking and since you can only speak to them when you've drunk it doesn't make a good combo. Learn how to before you go off to Uni.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    I meant relatives your age, apologies.

    And OK, so you can't talk to anyone your age? If it was just guys of course its unintentionally sexist, as you are treating them very different to women and see them as being almost 'abnormal'. Anyway, in the case of not being able to speak to anyone your age all you can do is work really hard to get over it. Put yourself into social situations as much as possible, step out your comfort zone at every opportunity. If that is too much for you you may have some serious social anxiety problems so it may be worth seeing a councillor and/or doing some CBT.

    There's actually a thread on here for people with social anxiety to talk
    In that case, no I don't have any relatives my age that I can talk to. And even if I did, it would be different. And it's not that I can't talk to people, I'm just not at all comfortable in doing so.

    That's what I'm hoping university will do for me. I have told myself that none of the people there will know anything about me, so I can reinvent myself on a social level. When I was 15 I got diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder, so I've had CBT before and therefore I know that I'm being completely irrational here, which makes it all the more frustrating.

    Thank you for your replies, I'll have a look at that forum when I get the chance
 
 
 
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