Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hi,
    this is my first student room post so apologies in advance if I've posted this in the wrong place etc (please inform me if so).
    I'm hoping to go to sheffield uni, should I get the grades on results day, and was wondering how hard maintaining a relationship is after watching the struggles on the secret lives of students show. I'm totally in love with my girlfriend and will do anything I can to stay with her, we both currently live in rotherham which is close to sheffield so it's not much of a distance, but does anyone have any tips on how to make a relationship continue to work during uni? And any advice on what to do should I fail to get my grades and end up at my insurance (which is ironically Leicester like on the secret lives of students haha).
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    It is going to he hard, very hard. You will see other students pairing off, or you will find a girl, perhaps one on your course, that you want a relationship with. And then the problems will begin!

    Meanwhile the same thing with be going on in Rotherham.

    I sat here for a while trying to think how many of my friends who arrived at uni with an established girlfriend or boyfriend ended up marrying them (I graduated a while ago!) - the answer was 0%. Sorry!
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    May work, may not. You can always give it a go.

    I was in a relationship at uni (my boyfriend somewhere else) and neither of us found it very, very hard. I think people exaggerate. Most relationships don't last in general, but if you don't try you can't succeed. We're not the only couple who's made it through, and there are advantages to being with someone from the same area in the long run.

    If you are with your girlfriend because she's convenient and you have no other decent options, split up. Though that would be always be my advice, whether you were going off to uni or not. If you're with your girlfriend because you think she is or might be something special, and you make each other happy, then I think that's something to keep hold of. If circumstances change and you aren't happy together, you can break up knowing it's the right decision. I've never understood pre-emptive break ups, personally. It's not like if you go to uni in a relationship you are trapped and cannot change your mind.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by BeanofJelly)
    May work, may not. You can always give it a go.

    I was in a relationship at uni (my boyfriend somewhere else) and neither of us found it very, very hard. I think people exaggerate. Most relationships don't last in general, but if you don't try you can't succeed. We're not the only couple who's made it through, and there are advantages to being with someone from the same area in the long run.

    If you are with your girlfriend because she's convenient and you have no other decent options, split up. Though that would be always be my advice, whether you were going off to uni or not. If you're with your girlfriend because you think she is or might be something special, and you make each other happy, then I think that's something to keep hold of. If circumstances change and you aren't happy together, you can break up knowing it's the right decision. I've never understood pre-emptive break ups, personally. It's not like if you go to uni in a relationship you are trapped and cannot change your mind.
    We will definitely be giving it a try, especially since the distance is significantly less than most uni-interrupted relationships.
    Just trying to get some tips to make it easier!
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We will definitely be giving it a try, especially since the distance is significantly less than most uni-interrupted relationships.
    Just trying to get some tips to make it easier!
    Haha sorry, it was a slightly bitter response from me :p: Anticipating the naysayers.

    I would recommend you don't over-think and generally approach uni as you would anyway. The only thing different about having a girlfriend is that you can't cheat on her. Otherwise, get excited, make friends, join societies, get out there just like anyone else.

    You should still be able to see each other quite regularly as she'll be so near, but try not to make going home a "regular" thing in the sense that it overrides unique opportunities at uni you might have. Get her to visit you as well.

    When she comes over, make the most of it - let her see the uni, take her round the town and go out socially with your new flatmates/friends.

    Find a method of communication that works for you. You don't want to spend too much time focused on your girlfriend, but you also want to keep in regular contact and remain reassuring and affectionate. So strike a balance. If you're going to be too busy to talk much over a period of time, let her know.

    Otherwise I wouldn't say there was much to it that's different to any relationship. You can't make it work out, you can just keep going until it doesn't, if it doesn't.

    If anyone is rude to you about it (which I highly doubt), just make it clear you don't take them seriously. Do your own thing and don't be pressured by other people.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by BeanofJelly)
    Haha sorry, it was a slightly bitter response from me :p: Anticipating the naysayers.

    I would recommend you don't over-think and generally approach uni as you would anyway. The only thing different about having a girlfriend is that you can't cheat on her. Otherwise, get excited, make friends, join societies, get out there just like anyone else.

    You should still be able to see each other quite regularly as she'll be so near, but try not to make going home a "regular" thing in the sense that it overrides unique opportunities at uni you might have. Get her to visit you as well.

    When she comes over, make the most of it - let her see the uni, take her round the town and go out socially with your new flatmates/friends.

    Find a method of communication that works for you. You don't want to spend too much time focused on your girlfriend, but you also want to keep in regular contact and remain reassuring and affectionate. So strike a balance. If you're going to be too busy to talk much over a period of time, let her know.

    Otherwise I wouldn't say there was much to it that's different to any relationship. You can't make it work out, you can just keep going until it doesn't, if it doesn't.

    If anyone is rude to you about it (which I highly doubt), just make it clear you don't take them seriously. Do your own thing and don't be pressured by other people.
    I don't have any worries about cheating on her, I'm not stupid when I'm drinking even when smashed - nor would I feel the need to anyway!

    That's a good idea tbh, always been thinking of it as me coming back to see her but could easily have her come stay with me.

    Thanks for the advice! I've already had people saying when am I going to break up with her, people seem to assume it's not even worth it. The way I plan on approaching it is basically the same as now, but seeing her fewer days for longer periods, like sleeping over rather than going round for a few hours 2 days in a row. It shouldn't be hard to see eachother should we both put the effort in since one bus journey can meet us in the middle (near enough). Suppose it will see how it goes!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 13, 2014
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.