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    I have just finished my BSc and spent the majority of my 3 years at Uni with 2 girls. We always came as a threesome to parties, events, lectures etc.

    Since we all moved back home in May of this year, I've only seen one of the girls once - and that's only because she's dating one of my friends from back home so visited my town!

    Today I found out that the 2 girls have been spending weekends together. They know full well that I am always completely free on weekends, as I only work week days. None of their plans could have been made last minute as one of the girls works weekends in a restaurant so would have had to have booked time off work! They've been putting pictures up online of them at clubs together in each other's home town, surely they should know that I'm going to see them?

    We were all equally as close at University and now all live very similar distances from one another so it's not as if I live too far away to be involved - I also have my own car so can easily attend plans!

    Whenever I've said we should meet up they never seem into it, and the plans never end up happening. We said we would meet up over Easter of this year - I told them that there was only 2 days out of the 3 weeks that I wasn't free - and when did they decide to meet up????

    I don't understand this at all? They can't just 'assume' that I'm busy? Even if they did think I had other plans, where is the harm is asking?

    We have our graduation in a few weeks time and are going out to the city in the night. I'm not sure how to act when I see them both. Do I pretend nothing has changed and be all friendly with them? Or should I act frosty and hope that they realise how they've made me feel? I don't want to make things too awkward, yet I don't want them to just get away with all of this?

    Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be jealous and feel upset about being forgotten? I would hate to lose touch with the two people I was closest to for the whole of my degree, yet don't want to come off as clingy and have to beg to be involved in their plans.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have just finished my BSc and spent the majority of my 3 years at Uni with 2 girls. We always came as a threesome to parties, events, lectures etc.

    Since we all moved back home in May of this year, I've only seen one of the girls once - and that's only because she's dating one of my friends from back home so visited my town!

    Today I found out that the 2 girls have been spending weekends together. They know full well that I am always completely free on weekends, as I only work week days. None of their plans could have been made last minute as one of the girls works weekends in a restaurant so would have had to have booked time off work! They've been putting pictures up online of them at clubs together in each other's home town, surely they should know that I'm going to see them?

    We were all equally as close at University and now all live very similar distances from one another so it's not as if I live too far away to be involved - I also have my own car so can easily attend plans!

    Whenever I've said we should meet up they never seem into it, and the plans never end up happening. We said we would meet up over Easter of this year - I told them that there was only 2 days out of the 3 weeks that I wasn't free - and when did they decide to meet up????

    I don't understand this at all? They can't just 'assume' that I'm busy? Even if they did think I had other plans, where is the harm is asking?

    We have our graduation in a few weeks time and are going out to the city in the night. I'm not sure how to act when I see them both. Do I pretend nothing has changed and be all friendly with them? Or should I act frosty and hope that they realise how they've made me feel? I don't want to make things too awkward, yet I don't want them to just get away with all of this?

    Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be jealous and feel upset about being forgotten? I would hate to lose touch with the two people I was closest to for the whole of my degree, yet don't want to come off as clingy and have to beg to be involved in their plans.
    tell them what you said here

    don't let them think its ok
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have just finished my BSc and spent the majority of my 3 years at Uni with 2 girls. We always came as a threesome to parties, events, lectures etc.

    Since we all moved back home in May of this year, I've only seen one of the girls once - and that's only because she's dating one of my friends from back home so visited my town!

    Today I found out that the 2 girls have been spending weekends together. They know full well that I am always completely free on weekends, as I only work week days. None of their plans could have been made last minute as one of the girls works weekends in a restaurant so would have had to have booked time off work! They've been putting pictures up online of them at clubs together in each other's home town, surely they should know that I'm going to see them?

    We were all equally as close at University and now all live very similar distances from one another so it's not as if I live too far away to be involved - I also have my own car so can easily attend plans!

    Whenever I've said we should meet up they never seem into it, and the plans never end up happening. We said we would meet up over Easter of this year - I told them that there was only 2 days out of the 3 weeks that I wasn't free - and when did they decide to meet up????

    I don't understand this at all? They can't just 'assume' that I'm busy? Even if they did think I had other plans, where is the harm is asking?

    We have our graduation in a few weeks time and are going out to the city in the night. I'm not sure how to act when I see them both. Do I pretend nothing has changed and be all friendly with them? Or should I act frosty and hope that they realise how they've made me feel? I don't want to make things too awkward, yet I don't want them to just get away with all of this?

    Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be jealous and feel upset about being forgotten? I would hate to lose touch with the two people I was closest to for the whole of my degree, yet don't want to come off as clingy and have to beg to be involved in their plans.
    Unfortunately, this happens quite frequently that upon gradation friendships gradually disintegrate. They don't sound like they were strong friendships to begin. Best play indifferent to them rather than play, as you have described, clingy and annoying.. I think you know the answer yourself..
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    Confront them, comment on the online pictures or something to let them know you are not stupid. Then I would talk to them (on the phone, if they can't meet up). Don't text them, just in case you don't get a reply.

    Tell them that you're supposed to be friends, and what's the issue with them not including you in their plans,?! Have they forgotten that you are friends? You were free and asked them when they wanted to meet up, and then it falls through, yet when they meet up, without telling you, it all goes fine...ask them what their problem is. I would just throw a tantrum and yell at them, then just don't bother with them. Clearly, they don't value your friendship as much as they should.
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    Thanks for your replies guys!

    I didn't bring anything up when I saw them at graduation, though one of the girls (the one I was closest to out of the two, and the one I was friends with first) was telling me how much she loved me and valued me as a friend and how she is so glad that she's found a friend like me for life. As much as I wanted to have made a b*tchy comment, I decided that it was best to keep the peace. I think she was maybe feeling guilty about the whole situation, and could probably tell that I knew all about it.

    I'm even going to a bbq at her family home tonight (so is the other friend), although it does all seem a bit fishy now that I'm suddenly involved in stuff again! I guess they must have just realised what a crappy move it was.

    I guess I'll just keep the peace for now and see how things go, though if I start getting left out again, then maybe it'll be time to have a chat with them about the situation.

    Thanks again for your help!
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    I understand that the situation is now, possibly, sorted for you.

    But don't you think you should find out why they behaved like that in the first place? Especially the one you're closer to?

    In my experience, if nothing is said, it sets a precedence and people are inclined to behave the way they did in the future.

    Also, without saying anything, are you sure you won't be harbouring any resentment?
 
 
 
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