We've been friends since we were 11 (we're now 17) and sat next to each other in Maths. I liked her because we shared the same feeling about things. We both loved art, we both hated alcohol and we'd both never dated. Up to year 9 we were the same academically and I remember us both trying to impress the science teachers for a few weeks so we could get into separate sciences (I got in, she didn't.. but I persuaded the teachers she could do it). We were both ambitious - she wanted to be a vet and I.. well I wasn't sure but I wanted to get a degree at least.
We were basically really similar - we'd go shopping, go into London, go to the cinema, we did a babysitting course, we had stupid nicknames for each other (when we were about 12 anyway!)
She was my best friend. You get the idea. Then in about year 10 everything slowly began to change. She started going to this youth club with other friends and said I wouldn't like it, this is where she started meeting older boys (aged about 18 when we were 14). At the same time she met Jess (changed name for anonymity) - a girl who used to hang around with another group of friends I had. She's friendly enough but did start a rumour that I'd been talking about another girl (my other best friend at the time) behing her back - so I've never liked her to much.
Anyway, my friend started changing. She started drinking alcohol (moderately but she used to hate it), and she started giving oral to this 17 year old and since then a few other guys (none of whom she was dating). At 15 she slept with a close friend who she'd never dated, and now regrets it.
Back to the other girl - Jess. My friend and Jess seem to have fallen in love with each other although they assure everyone that they are both straight.. it's sometimes hard to believe. At sleepovers they sleep in the same SINGLE BED even though there is plenty of other space to sleep. They seem to be together all the time and all over her myspace is pictures of them pulling silly faces at a webcam.
My friend's MSN name is always something suggestive.. it used to be innocence-lost but it's changed now.
Another thing which annoyed me this week was this - we have a mutual 'friend' which no-one really likes because she's very clingy and lies (huge lies like she apparently spent christmas with britney!). It's obviously because she's insecure and wants friends so I won't be nasty to her. I find her annoying and don't go out with her but if she calls I'll be polite. Anyway, my friend said online yday 'I'm taking advantage of her'. She has a free house and my friend is getting her to have a party. I know she hates this grl and is just using her. She actually said 'I know she's annoying but if we're really drunk it won't matter'. I know this girl will not like the party as she never drinks or goes to any parties she's quiet and I know she just doesn't know how to say 'no'. The worst thing is that this girl has a free house because her mum is in hospital with suspected cancer.
The last thing I'm going to mention about how my friend has changed is her grades. At GCSE she did fairly well, 1A, 5Bs and 5Cs - she definitely could have done moderately at A level. We just got our AS results - CDEU. She wanted to go to uni to study business (yes, the vet dreams went) and should have got an A for Business Studies but no, she got a C. It's like she can't be bothered anymore. In the classes I share with her, she's so distracting too! Generally in a Maths lesson she'll just sit there and do about one question and just talk whilst I'm trying to get on and get my 'A'!
Aaarrghh!! What do I do?? I somehow feel like I've failed her as a friend. All my teachers said on parents evening (we took 3 similar A Levels) that I was 'pulling her along'.. well obviously not enough! She could be really successful and I always believed in her, but now I don't think i do anymore. ...and no-one should be like that about their best friend.
We've obviously drifted apart but then sometimes she really makes me laugh so much it hurts, and there's still some things we feel the same about. But then I often feel like I'm being used. She's always talking about how she goes out with Jess and the guys they know, but when I ask if I can come she looks down on me 'well.. I suppose.. if you try and look a bit older'. All she wants to do is 'look cool' and I hate people like that! I don't think she respects me anymore.
Can I please just get your opinion on all this? I'd really appreciate it,
Thanks