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Would you find it uncomfortable if a friend of your gf called her darling? Watch

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    Basically this friend of my girlfriends had referred to her as "darling", and might I add this friend is newly acquainted with her (known her about 9days). Met her in her job (as she's working away). This friend is female and my girlfriend always makes a point of bringing her up a lot and compliment her all the time, it really grates on me. Fair enough, she's a nice person, but I get a bit fed up of hearing about her, seen as she's a source of my anxiety right now.

    My girlfriend is bi, and although thus shouldn't matter, it compounds my concerns, I was told she had a boyfriend when I confronted my girlfriend about how she seems so upbeat around her and tells me she's "amazing" and "she loves her". I confronted her and admitted my feelings when I told her I was slightly jealous, as I care about her.

    All of a sudden they seem to talk a lot, tag each other in stuff, and I recently saw something that made feel a little upset. The girl in question remarked that she (herself) was special and during stating this she called her (my girlfriend) darling. My girlfriend said "it's because you are", essentially agreeing . Now for one, this comment could have been banter or jokey, since they were talking about said girls misfortune. However, I feel it could be a double meaning, in the sense it is made to look like a harmless thing, but it's actually a flirtatious inside joke. I feel as though my nose is being rubbed in it. Like it's right in front of me.

    I would ignore this sort of thing, but it all seems a bit odd, and she seems unusually pally with her considering the time elapsed since they met. They are far too playful. She claims it's because they live and work together they get to know each other well.

    Do you think this means anything?
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    Hello,
    Personally i wouldn't get to worked up about it, women are interesting creatures and we go through weird phases. I don't think you have anything to worry about relationship wise. This new found friendship is relatively new so it's still quite exciting for her. I mean if it gets worse then you should definitely talk to her again, but for now i don't think you have anything to worry about though. I can completely see where you are coming from though.

    All the best
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    (Original post by naomiepriscilla)
    Hello,
    Personally i wouldn't get to worked up about it, women are interesting creatures and we go through weird phases. I don't think you have anything to worry about relationship wise. This new found friendship is relatively new so it's still quite exciting for her. I mean if it gets worse then you should definitely talk to her again, but for now i don't think you have anything to worry about though. I can completely see where you are coming from though.

    All the best
    Thanks I appreciate your reassurance but it's just I feel sick with envy, bitterness and resentment. I know this sounds a bit silly of me to get this worked up, but it's making me really ill. In a mental health sense and generally my feelings are getting more and more jaded the more content I see online, the more she talks of her etc etc.

    I don't know why it bothers me as much as it does, but I've deduced that maybe I have never really accepted her sexuality, that's not to say I don't still love her. The idea of her even gong near said girl makes me sick, perhaps I'm victim to my own thinking and I'm putting myself through suffering.

    I mean only last night I told her I was jealous she told me I have no need to be as she has a boyfriend, but despite what she told me (regardless if true or not), I just don't appreciate the fact they are chatting backward and forward publicly in such a manner (particularly since I know she's bi and it's possible she finds her attractive) after I told her I'm jealous about her.

    Said girl even quoted my girlfriends sayings that she always says...something which me and my girlfriend always banter about. It's almost like I'm invisible and pushed out. I don't like the idea they have this personal connection with a lot of the same things me and her banter about. It's like someone has stepped in my skin.

    I know it sounds nasty, but I'm ignoring her texts right now because I can't bare to speak with her or think about her right now. I'm beginning to feel emotionally de-attached. My head is spinning in my own thoughts and I can't take any more of her talking about her, seeing them effectively flirt, banter and even see said girl use a similar humour to me, with her.

    I feel this girl is being a sly dog really and despite her supposed boyfriend i feel she likes my girlfriend.

    I'm thinking about deactivating my Facebook even, because I feel so sick seeing her updates, I constantly check her profile.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks I appreciate your reassurance but it's just I feel sick with envy, bitterness and resentment. I know this sounds a bit silly of me to get this worked up, but it's making me really ill. In a mental health sense and generally my feelings are getting more and more jaded the more content I see online, the more she talks of her etc etc.

    I don't know why it bothers me as much as it does, but I've deduced that maybe I have never really accepted her sexuality, that's not to say I don't still love her. The idea of her even gong near said girl makes me sick, perhaps I'm victim to my own thinking and I'm putting myself through suffering.

    I mean only last night I told her I was jealous she told me I have no need to be as she has a boyfriend, but despite what she told me (regardless if true or not), I just don't appreciate the fact they are chatting backward and forward publicly in such a manner (particularly since I know she's bi and it's possible she finds her attractive) after I told her I'm jealous about her.

    Said girl even quoted my girlfriends sayings that she always says...something which me and my girlfriend always banter about. It's almost like I'm invisible and pushed out. I don't like the idea they have this personal connection with a lot of the same things me and her banter about. It's like someone has stepped in my skin.

    I know it sounds nasty, but I'm ignoring her texts right now because I can't bare to speak with her or think about her right now. I'm beginning to feel emotionally de-attached. My head is spinning in my own thoughts and I can't take any more of her talking about her, seeing them effectively flirt, banter and even see said girl use a similar humour to me, with her.

    I feel this girl is being a sly dog really and despite her supposed boyfriend i feel she likes my girlfriend.

    I'm thinking about deactivating my Facebook even, because I feel so sick seeing her updates, I constantly check her profile.
    Sounds like just normal girl stuff to me.

    Girls talk - this is what girls do. Didn't you notice at school? They'll talk about everything - very intimate things, certainly things that men wouldn't perhaps.

    Many girls get as much ( or more) emotional support from their friends than they do from their partners. After all their friends may well still be there when their boyfriends are long gone.
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    (Original post by pickup)
    Sounds like just normal girl stuff to me.

    Girls talk - this is what girls do. Didn't you notice at school? They'll talk about everything - very intimate things, certainly things that men wouldn't perhaps.

    Many girls get as much ( or more) emotional support from their friends than they do from their partners. After all their friends may well still be there when their boyfriends are long gone.
    Yeah okay, point taken, but she's known this girl a week or so. I'd understand if this was a long term best friend but she isn't.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah okay, point taken, but she's known this girl a week or so. I'd understand if this was a long term best friend but she isn't.
    This isn't how it works. Girls can become intimate with another girl very quickly if they're on the same wavelength. It's an emotional meeting if you like which can take men years to achieve if ever. Girls don't have the same worry men have, about seeming weak or vulnerable to their friends. They expect their friends to support them. Much in the same way boys expect their girl friends to support them emotionally.

    I know men who have known their friends for years but never talk on intimate subjects at all, so I understand it seems weird that girls can do it almost immediately.

    This is one of life's big misteries / discoveries for men - women talk and talk about everything, yes everything.
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    (Original post by pickup)
    This isn't how it works. Girls can become intimate with another girl very quickly if they're on the same wavelength. It's an emotional meeting if you like which can take men years to achieve if ever. Girls don't have the same worry men have, about seeming weak or vulnerable to their friends. They expect their friends to support them. Much in the same way boys expect their girl friends to support them emotionally.

    I know men who have known their friends for years but never talk on intimate subjects at all, so I understand it seems weird that girls can do it almost immediately.

    This is one of life's big misteries / discoveries for men - women talk and talk about everything, yes everything.
    I guess this is what bothers me though (although to a lesser degree) because it's like this random girl she's known a week is intruding on my relationship with my girlfriend of whom I very much love. It makes it more upsetting because since my girl is bi, and this girl may well be (I don't know) and if they connect well emotionally (as you say girls can) then potentially she could be out to "home wreck".

    Problem is I have an inferiority complex with it, because as a man I can't compete with the likes of a woman on a sexual level, and apparently an emotional level either. So this kind of makes me feel this girl could take my girlfriend from me. It's like she's going through the back door to steal her.

    This is probably the best way to describe my insecurities.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess this is what bothers me though (although to a lesser degree) because it's like this random girl she's known a week is intruding on my relationship with my girlfriend of whom I very much love. It makes it more upsetting because since my girl is bi, and this girl may well be (I don't know) and if they connect well emotionally (as you say girls can) then potentially she could be out to "home wreck".

    Problem is I have an inferiority complex with it, because as a man I can't compete with the likes of a woman on a sexual level, and apparently an emotional level either. So this kind of makes me feel this girl could take my girlfriend from me. It's like she's going through the back door to steal her.

    This is probably the best way to describe my insecurities.
    But, the only way for you to act is to be 'loving and giving' to your girlfriend so that she doesn't need to have the same relationship with anyone else because you are satisfying her. You mustn't criticise her friend or try and part them. After all, if you love her that is what you want to do isn't it? Please her.

    If you complain to her, keep trying to restrict her friendships. she'll be off. No one can live with someone who's moaning on all the time and stopping them living their life. Guess what- It's no fun for them at all.

    It wouldn't matter whether the friend is bi,straight or any point in between, if you can't get over your jealous thoughts or at least master them so that you don't show them then you'll ruin every relationship you try and have. It'll be your fault and nobody else's. The faster you learn that the faster you'll have a good relationship. Otherwise you'll develop into the kind of person who thinks everyone is out to get them. Not an attractive quality.
 
 
 
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