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I am stuck, I'm not sure why he's doing this Watch

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    It seems I always accept affection from bad men and think that I just don't deserve any better.
    In my last serious relationship I was raped and hurt and it's taken me months to get over and then suddenly a friend from years ago got in touch. We used to hang out lots and he wanted to be with me but I had a boyfriend, we used to flirt quite a bit and I missed old times. He'd pick me up in his car recently and before this he told me we should go for drinks and see what happens and that he used to really want to be with me. He started touching my thighs and kissing my neck and I got really upset the first few weeks due to my past, I just felt like I couldn't go through with it. Few weeks later I did sleep with him, but only in his car and once one night at his house when all of his family were out. He never introduced me to his family or acknowledged us to any of his friends. I had sex with him most nights in a car. He has said things that have made me a bit shocked such as he doesn't need escorts because he gets stuff for free with me and make comments about how hot I was and sending me pictures off my old facebook, I found these a bit weird as I was 13/14 in those pictures and he was telling me I should dye my hair brown again but I'm allergic to the dyes so I can't. He's also purposely grabbed my hand before when I've been joking and got mad at me asking if I wanted him to break my fingers.

    It got a bit worse when he went to London as I realised I was weeks late and stupidly I'd still had sex when I was feeling a little ill. Fortunately I wasn't pregnant just some medication I was on for an operation had delayed my period. Before I went to doctors though he picked me up and locked his car doors and said if I was pregnant he'd kick me in the stomach. After I'd gone home he was sending me messages saying if I didn't have an abortion he'd kill himself and it would be all my fault. Now I don't think he could actually be more distant from me if he tried. Tbf I don't know what the hell he wants from me, we hang out on a Friday night with friends and he came to mine to help me do gardening yesterday but then kinda just left and drove off after a while without saying much. I don't know if the saying he's had his cake and has eaten it could be applied here. The thing is how do I stop letting myself get hurt in situations like this. Its crazy but feels like I just accept what I get because I feel like I don't deserve and won't get any better.
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    you do deserve better and there will be a guy out there who will love you and treat you right. 😊 you need to break off contact with this guy though as youre only gonna end up gettin hurt worse and worse. womens aid have a website which might be a good starting point if you need help and advice on how to do this. good luck


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    It seems your past is the problem you need to leave behind you. Starting afresh can be scary, but you seriously need to put yourself first. Decide not to date or even associate with individuals you would normally date, and try just getting to know a guy as a real friend first.
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    Frankly he sounds just like the guy (Ben Blakeley) who is currently on trial for murdering his girlfriend Jayden Parkinson. Do a google search. Then for goodness sake get out of there.
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    You stop men like him treating you badly by not putting up with it.

    If you put up with his rude comments, his emotional blackmail and his threats of violence by allowing him to have sex anyway, allowing him to come round and help you with your gardening then you are a fool.

    It really is quire simple:make a list of things you won't tolerate ie you will finish with a boyfriend if it happens. And, carry it out. Finish with him.

    This one is a selfish manipulative horror.

    You ask what does he want of me?? What he's getting - a doormat who'll still yearn after him when he's treated her like .....He's bad news. Stop meeting him.

    You are the luckiest girl alive. Just think you could now be expecting his child - forced to have dealings with this man for 18 years ( or more).
    Thank your lucky stars and move on.
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    Thanks for the advice,I just miss the person he used to be when we were younger a lot. I find it hard to grasp how he can behave with me one minute and the way he is the next.
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    Please believe me when I say this- just because these kind of guys behave like jerks to you doesn't mean you deserve it. Tell someone.
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    Stop seeing him. He's treating you like **** & you do deserve better. Forget who he used to be and see him as he is now.
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    Didn't know guys like this existed
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    I've just found out he has a girlfriend long distance. When he's been saying he's gone down to London for work its clearly not been. I feel like the worst kind of person, I've slept with someones boyfriend, can't help beating myself up about it.
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    FFS jess!

    With girls like you us normal fairly nice guys never stand a chance!

    Either way GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP ASAP!

    Not that it sounds like a relationship.... more an abusive one or booty call!

    Seriously just want to give you a hug, your story is horrendous!
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    (Original post by iJess)
    I've just found out he has a girlfriend long distance. When he's been saying he's gone down to London for work its clearly not been. I feel like the worst kind of person, I've slept with someones boyfriend, can't help beating myself up about it.
    it is not your fault....you didn't know he had a gf....he is a twisted guy and you will find someone a million times better, you just have to be patient....he also sounds quite dangerous....you should just break off contact with him
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    (Original post by iJess)
    x.
    Tell him to f off and then cut all contact with him!
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    let im go init
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    Run run run! This abusive relationship won't end well...
    You deserve someone better, someone who will treat you like a woman, not these *******s who just use you for sex
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    Sometimes when we feel we are in love we can forget, forgive. When we wake up and know that today is another day we pick ourselves up be strong, know what you want and walk on, find the best we can and be the beat we can. Respect yourself xxxx
 
 
 
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