I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 6+ months now, and I'm finding it difficult to know how to respond to his mum's behaviour. I don't know if it's anything weird - maybe I'm overreacting!
She constantly talks about work - my (and my boyfriends) conversations with her are not casual. I constantly feel like I'm having to carefully choose the right answer. It's not relaxing, it's very tense.
She also keeps pressurizing me and my boyfriend to do things excessively, such as quitting smoking, which has gotten really awkward to respond to. If it was my mum or dad I could argue and defend myself, but obviously I don't want to be rude to her.
Anyhow, how would you deal with this? It's getting really awkward for me, but at the same time I wonder if I'm just being silly.
Boyfriend's mum's behaviour Watch
- Thread Starter
- 14-07-2014 11:15
- 14-07-2014 22:24
Hey. I know how you feel! Getting the respect of your other half's family (especially the parents) can be quite daunting! They can strongly influence your boyfriend's relationship with you and the last thing you want is for your boyfriend to have to make a choice so you're not overreacting at all. Since the relationship is quite new, first impressions mean everything and you may have to be quite selective with your topics. Find some common ground with her to make her feel comfortable with you. If she enjoys talking about work then you may just need to put up with that and find work related conversations. Have you spoken to your boyfriend about it? Perhaps he can tell you what his mum's interests are that you can bond over.
The determination to want you both to quit smoking is just motherly concern after all it can be a dangerous habit so it is understandable that she wants you both to stop. But if it makes you that uncomfortable then try to avoid that topic with her and you will have to try and suck it up for a while. It really is important to discuss it with your boyfriend though as he can ask his mum how she feels about you and such.
Also, sometimes you may not get along with your partners parents as much as you would like. Not to say that you will be enemies, but you just won't be close to each other like having long chats, going out for lunch and all that.
Best advice is, talk to your boyfriend about it, he knows more than all of us what his mother is like and how to handle it! Be sensitive about the issue and show him your worries.