The Student Room Group

2 x Guy Problems!

Well I have two guy problems, I know it is pretty long winded and everything, but please hang on and help me!

Guy #1
Like in Jan I went out for my friends 18th and ended up meeting this guy who is a year older than me, we did the usual and swapped numbers ect and texted/talked/MSN'ed a lot - then on Vday he asked me out, and we started dating for like 3 months until we both broke it off as we hardly saw each other as he had work and I had my exams apporoaching - so we both finished the relationship.

So we didn't talk for like a month or so and we both dated other people (well I did) then after I finished my exams, I had this phone call at like 3am off him, so I texted him in the morning asking why he rang and he said he just wanted a chat - so we just had a normal chatty text conversation, with you know - the usual "how have you been?" "how is work going" ect ect and he asked if I minded that he still wanted me and liked me and I just sort of brushed it off and for like a month we talked just like friends, then he asked if I wanted to meet up as he had a new car and go to the beach or something so I agreed that he was going to pick me up on the Tuesday but he said he would have to ask his boss if he could have the Tuesday off and he would let me know.

So its Saturday and I haven't heard from him, so I text him and ask if we are still on for meeting, and he doesnt reply and by Monday night I havent heard from him - so I make other plans and just get on with my week. This was beginning of July - and now its nearly the end of August and I still havent heard a word from him :confused: I texted him a few weeks later and asked him how we was and if he was ok ect and I just got no reply, then a week later he rang me again at like 2am but I was asleep, and I texted him the next day asking why he rang and he simply replied with "I didnt to my awareness" so I asked how his car was and he just doesnt reply! So last weekend I was out clubbing and when I got home, I had too much to drink and sent him a text asking why he wasnt talking to me and surely I had the right to know - but again, no reply.

I'm just so confused, because he was the one who got back in contact with me and said he wanted to make a go of things over summer, then when I spare sometime to go and see him - he basically just stands me up. But surely I should be the one not speaking to him??
Its just so weird, because he will not speak to me at all and I havent done anything, I could understand if I had, but I havent!

So what do you think is wrong with him? Or what should I do?

Guy #2
This guy, I've known since started High School in year 9, we have always been pretty good friends, but not like best friends or anything.
Like last year when he left school, we became pretty close and both really liked each other but he had a girlfriend, so I wasn't going to cheat with him or anything, so I left him just get on with his relationship - but for some reason which I don't know about, his girlfriend didn't speak to him for like 3 weeks then they finally broke up.

So I was like "Ok, take it slowly and maybe we might be starting a relationship in the future" and we hung out, chatted ect ect and then one day we where in town and we bumped into the guy we both went to school with, so we where all catching up on the person we bumped into goes "So are you two dating or something?" and before I can even answer, the guy I like goes "No, I have a girlfriend" and I look at him and then he says "Well I havent, me and my ex split up like a month ago, but I still love her and want to get back together" so I was like what the ****? Where did this all come considering he was going to finish his girlfriend so we could start dating!

Anyway, we both remain friends and he didn't get back with his ex, and its been like 3 months of us really liking each other and I ask him if we both like each other so much, how come we arent dating yet and he says that as we are such good friends, he wants to take it slowly so we dont rush into anything and ruin our relationship which I was fine with and could understand. 6 months on - nothing has happened, so I ask him out and he says no not yet, he wants to ask me out but he wants us to kiss first to see if it is weird as we are good friends. So again nothing develops, so I meet the guy above who I met when out clubbing, then when I'm dating him, this guy now wont talk to me, but tells me to finish with him because he isn't good enough for me!

So I tell him when we broke up and he is really happy and says he hates the thought of me dating other people besides him (Which is odd as I have never dated him yet!) Even now if I ever ask him if he wants to hang out like go for a drink or to the cinema or something, he constantly says he has no money, even though he works in a nightclub every Friday night as he gets good money - when I say I will pay he wont let me, so we end up never seeing each other. The only way we ever see each other is if I take a day off school and he comes to mine - but he wont ever come over if someone else is in.

So I'm thinking "Ok, he just wants sex with me" and I ask him and he is really insulted and assures me that its not that and that he does care about me ect. I dont like far away from him - about 10 miles and I'm moving at the end of October and I will be about 3 miles away from him - but I still know we will prons never be a proper couple, and when I say that to him - he gets really annoyed, but he is the one who wont commit himself. So its been about a year since all this started with him - and we are yet to go on a proper date or anything, but recently he has started saying he loves me and he still really likes me - like the other day I was out with some friends, and I got a message off him saying how much he likes me and how he loves me - but still nothing is happening!

What the hell is up with this guy?
I havent held off dating other people to just wait around for him, I did for like 2 months when we both started liking each other - but then I just got on and started dating and I still do, but I duno, there really is something about him and I do really like him and care about him - but its just so annyoing and I don't know what hes playing at. I don't think he does just want sex, we are too good mates to be like that - also, he wouldnt wait a year for it - he would just move on which he hasn't.

So does anyone have any advice at all?

Thanks in advance people
:smile:
Reply 1
WOW!
I would say its all way to much hassle.

Guy1 i would just forget about he is your ex and just acting strange, stop worrying yourself about it and if he wants to get in contact let him but you stop texting him until he texts you.

Guy 2 is also alot of hassle you say you've had something with him for a year!! i'm suprised you havnt stopped it already. Ok he told you he loves you but why isnt he doing anything so you can be together?
Reply 2
I'll do the first guy because its obvious. He doesn't want to talk to you and you're constant texting/calling is just making him ore annoyed and less likely to ever talk to you, totally freaking him out.
Reply 3
Is there a girl and a pizza place involved?
Reply 4
Triplet1
Guy 2 is also alot of hassle you say you've had something with him for a year!! i'm suprised you havnt stopped it already. Ok he told you he loves you but why isnt he doing anything so you can be together?


I don't know - thats what I don't understand, but if I ever mention it, it just drives him away.

Crazster
I'll do the first guy because its obvious. He doesn't want to talk to you and you're constant texting/calling is just making him ore annoyed and less likely to ever talk to you, totally freaking him out.


Thats understandable, but I think I have only texted him about 5 times, and surely texting someone 5 times in over a month and a half isn't a lot?

shuvle
Is there a girl and a pizza place involved?


Hmm...not to my awareness! :p:
Reply 5
Phixx

I don't know - thats what I don't understand, but if I ever mention it, it just drives him away.



Then just tell him straight that your getting fed up (i assume you are from posting this) and you dont want to wait around for ever for him.
Reply 6
Guy 1: Forget about him, he is jsut being a time waster. Next time he phones, texts whatever, don't reply. He is just trying to mess you around.

Guy 2: Tell him how it is. Either he decides whether he is willing to make a commitment, or you go and find someone who will actually treat you right. Seems to me that the guy does not seem to be getting over his ex, so while he aint in a relationship, he does not want anyone else to be. He seems like the person who wont let you go into a relationship, but when he finds someone, he'll quite happily brush you off. :\
For sure it sounds as if the first guy is just mucking you around and if he got you all the way when you were going out with him then hes run off now he got what he wanted.

Ask for guy 2 he sounds just as untrustworthy, it appears he just wants to get in your underwear, if this is not what you want then i could cut contact with him as well.
Reply 8
shuvle
Is there a girl and a pizza place involved?


lmao :toofunny:
Reply 9
I have a headache.

To be honest, theyre both messing you about. Guy 1 sounds like a complete idiot, and Guy 2 sounds nice but is obviously confused as to what he wants, or is scared of commitment/relationships etc.

I'd say date other people and just stay friends with Guy 2.