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Need a chat about my parents. They're emotionally trapped me. Watch

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    My parents have been controlling my whole life. Never letting me go out with friends after school making me go where ever they want to go. This has been happening all my life so I feel like I'm not allowed to do this LOL

    I'm 21 I know someone is going to say I'm a now a young adult but its so much more than that if you haven't been in my shoes. My dad was really strict and I'm literally afraid of him so I feel like if I do this I will "get in trouble" haha because I AM 21 years old! I should be able to do what I want. I live in Essex and just got a job at London at a bar grill. It has good pay. I have 500 quid in my bank. Some good advice would be good and how should I go about this?
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    Say that you appreciated their protection over the years but you need to step out into the world now as you're getting older.
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    As much as I want to say "You're 21 now, they should let you do your own thing", it sounds like it's more complicated than that.

    I don't think you'll get in trouble with your dad per se, but maybe he just won't be used to not having that same level of control over you. Still, you have a decently paid job now so I see no reason why he should have a massive problem with that - you're going off on your own now. If he does have a problem with it, it begs the question what exactly does he expect of you?

    I'd say go for the job and don't look back - face any problems with your parents head on. You have positive things happening in your life and they shouldn't hold you back. I think eventually they will understand that you're grown up, and the sooner you go against their controlling ways, the better.

    Drop me a PM if you want to talk privately, I hope everything works out.
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    (Original post by tk1993)
    As much as I want to say "You're 21 now, they should let you do your own thing", it sounds like it's more complicated than that.

    I don't think you'll get in trouble with your dad per se, but maybe he just won't be used to not having that same level of control over you. Still, you have a decently paid job now so I see no reason why he should have a massive problem with that - you're going off on your own now. If he does have a problem with it, it begs the question what exactly does he expect of you?

    I'd say go for the job and don't look back - face any problems with your parents head on. You have positive things happening in your life and they shouldn't hold you back. I think eventually they will understand that you're grown up, and the sooner you go against their controlling ways, the better.

    Drop me a PM if you want to talk privately, I hope everything works out.
    Ye thats what I think to myself but it really is more than that its like an invisible leash.
    My parents would probably resent me for leaving they're not really unerstanding. I know they will tell all my family friends aswell and make me look really bad and ****. My parents are very traditional -_-

    Think I'll just pack up and go with no warning.
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    (Original post by Jamiesworld)
    My parents have been controlling my whole life. Never letting me go out with friends after school making me go where ever they want to go. This has been happening all my life so I feel like I'm not allowed to do this LOL

    I'm 21 I know someone is going to say I'm a now a young adult but its so much more than that if you haven't been in my shoes. My dad was really strict and I'm literally afraid of him so I feel like if I do this I will "get in trouble" haha because I AM 21 years old! I should be able to do what I want. I live in Essex and just got a job at London at a bar grill. It has good pay. I have 500 quid in my bank. Some good advice would be good and how should I go about this?
    Hey,

    I think the transition has to be gradual - I don't think you can expect things to change overnight. First get yourself some financial stability - the job is definitely a good start and keep going with this so you can save a bit. Living at home during this time is ideal because it means you will have less cash outflow and you can save a lot more. Start doing things on your own terms - simple things like leaving and coming home at times that suit you, without your mum or dad picking you up. Basically this is to show your responsibility and maturity.

    Sure, they may not like it and say things to you or to others that may be unpleasant. However, this is part of the game, and if you want freedom, you will have to face some hardship. It will only make you stronger and more level headed. So don't be afraid of breaking a few hearts - they're adults, they can deal with it. Do not worry about what other people say - as hard as this is to do, it's key to getting anything done. All you need to be sure is that what you're doing pleases you and that you're not being unlawful.

    If you want any further thoughts / tips, feel free to pm me
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    Could you not explain that you've got a job that pays well, and show them that you've started to be more independent etc.
    Whats the worse they could do if you do leave? Surely all your family and friends are not going to be on your parents side?
    And I think packing up and going with no warning is a bad idea unless they are extremely controlling talking it over is probably the best bet
 
 
 
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