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Hey, am a little confused...
I find it quite difficult to read people at the best of times so this situation is stumping me.
I'm trying to get back with my ex we split up two years ago roughly and I regret the way I was I've managed to grow up quite a lot in these two years and now realise how much I miss her. We've been talking recently and seem to be getting on quite well and I've asked her out to the cinema and she agreed this was 2 weeks ago, this was the same time as she was made head girl at our sixth form. She keeps saying she is busy when we try and arrange a date, so yeah I'm confused we seem to be getting on well and she has promised to go to the cinema.
So yeah any help would be greatly appreciated
- Thread Starter
- 14-07-2014 22:11
- 14-07-2014 22:24
You won't be getting back with her, she just doesn't want to disappoint you by saying no.
I think after two years she wouldn't want to make what she might think is a backwards step.
Why don't you move on?
- 14-07-2014 22:26
I have a few techniques for this type of situation:
1. Accidental Ambush - Keep up to date with her social networks/friends and find out when she is going out with them and to where. 'Accidentally' bump into them and start talking. It will be a perfect opportunity for you to reveal your true feelings for her.
2. Postcard - Send her a nice hand written letter apologising and explaining your feelings. Send it to her house. Being hand written it still carries the personal touch but gives her time to think over how she feels and respond to you. She won't feel rushed especially if you wrote it in a way where it's clear you're just telling her something and not expecting a reply. Only do this if you're currently friends.
3. Personal - If you were once close the chances are you know where she lives. Knock on her door and talk to her. If her parents answer, ask them if she is home, if she is not, ask them to her you passed by. Only do this if you are currently good friends. It would be creepy otherwise.
4. If you're at the stage whereby you've fallen out of contact for the most part and rarely communicate, you need to talk to her as much a possible in school to build up a friendship and tell her how you feel.
You want to get back with her. Asking her to the cinema is ridiculous. That demonstrates a want for friendship and does not reveal your true intentions. It's actually rather deceitful. Tell her how you feel and the dates can follow. You don't do courtship first.
Although, it does sound just like Lee1985 described above. In which case you could do the reverse annd say something like "I know you don't see me in the same way I see you etc... but I wanted you to know that I ___________ . I hope you respect this and I respect you in thinking ____________. " - Something along those lines. The aim would to reveal your feelings to get them off your chest but at the same time acknowledge it's a lost cause.Last edited by The Politisphere; 14-07-2014 at 22:28.