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Is my mum being mean here or does my brother need the harsh truth? Watch

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    My 18 y/o younger brother is very overweight (118 kg / 18.5 stone at 1.84 m). My parents had him see a dietician last year, but that didn't work, and now he's gained more weight.
    My mum snaps at him when she sees him eating too much, and is now worried about alcohol related weight gain as he's started drinking and will be off to uni soon.
    I care about him but feel annoyed with her because whilst I want to see him slim down, I don't think my mum's nagging helps, especially as she is partly to blame for constantly offering him more food when we were younger.
    Who is right here?
    • PS Helper
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    I don't think its a matter of who's right or wrong. It depends on how your brothers responding to the nagging. If he's listening, great. If not, then perhaps a different approach should be tried? In any case, he's not going to lose weight if he doesn't want to. Not long-term anyway. It has to come from him.
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    (Original post by GlitterandGold-x)
    My 18 y/o younger brother is very overweight (118 kg / 18.5 stone at 1.84 m). My parents had him see a dietician last year, but that didn't work, and now he's gained more weight.
    My mum snaps at him when she sees him eating too much, and is now worried about alcohol related weight gain as he's started drinking and will be off to uni soon.
    I care about him but feel annoyed with her because whilst I want to see him slim down, I don't think my mum's nagging helps, especially as she is partly to blame for constantly offering him more food when we were younger.
    Who is right here?
    I am your brother in this situation. I don't weigh quite that much, but I definitely need to lose some and I cannot tell you how counterproductive it is for my mother to sit and nag me about it and comment every time I eat something I 'shouldn't'. If anything, it just makes you want to eat more to spite them. Obviously, he may be different, but nagging does not solve the problem for me at all.
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    (Original post by lauraaaaa)
    I am your brother in this situation. I don't weigh quite that much, but I definitely need to lose some and I cannot tell you how counterproductive it is for my mother to sit and nag me about it and comment every time I eat something I 'shouldn't'. If anything, it just makes you want to eat more to spite them. Obviously, he may be different, but nagging does not solve the problem for me at all.
    Thanks for the reply. I know that it kind of isn't my business, but at the same time I find it difficult to sit back and watch him struggle about his day to day life (he has joint problems already caused by his large frame) and cannot walk 'effortlessly' like most people.
    He can wear only elasticated trousers because most stores do not carry his waist size. It took my mum hours to track down tailored trousers he could wear to sixth form because of this.
    Oh and we have a family history of diabetes. :/
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    (Original post by GlitterandGold-x)
    Thanks for the reply. I know that it kind of isn't my business, but at the same time I find it difficult to sit back and watch him struggle about his day to day life (he has joint problems already caused by his large frame) and cannot walk 'effortlessly' like most people.
    He can wear only elasticated trousers because most stores do not carry his waist size. It took my mum hours to track down tailored trousers he could wear to sixth form because of this.
    Oh and we have a family history of diabetes. :/
    Oh I'm not saying that he doesn't need to lose weight, he does, and he knows it. However, nagging is not the correct way, at least for me. Ultimately, it has to come from him. Hell only lose the weight, and keep it off, if he wants too. Maybe you could encourage him to do exercise with you, or start a 'health kick' across the whole family, making it a family thing? Even if no one else needs to lose weight, most people can be healthier in general. But I don't think nagging him will work, it backs them into a corner and makes it seem like everything is their fault and that they're a disappointment, but that's just my opinion
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    I had my mum do this to me (and she still does). What annoys me more is that I am probably the healthiest person in the house yet I can all the slack for missing a run one day (bearing in mind I run and do jitsu and even when I was off for injury for 6 months they'd still have a go at me :indiff: )

    I think once your brother is like "**** I need to lose some weight" then he'd be more self motivated (which is what I found). However, I didn't find my mum shouting at me helped at all really :no: Small goals I always say
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    One of my friends used to be around 18 stones (now with more or less flawless physique for a guy after a few years). He told me he went to a certain doctor (could be dietician) and gave him strict guidelines on what to eat. Ultimately it paid off so I can only suggest to give it another go. Food is all about self-control.

    Also like the other poster said, if someone is nagging/annoying you to not do something then more or likely that the other person will do the opposite. I know this from experience so you need to tell your mum to stop nagging full stop and I can guarantee it will help.
 
 
 
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