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I don't eat treats at work, so why should I bring it in? Watch

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    So it's a traditional thing at work that whenever it is someone's birthday, they bring in treats for everyone. Cheesecake, chocolates etc. I'm on a strict diet, so I literally don't touch it, and I haven't since I have started work (14 months ago). I only allow myself one chocolate a week, which is usually a kinder bueno because they are my favourite.

    Last year, I bought stuff in for my birthday, but this year I don't want to. I appreciate it is my turn, but if I haven't had anything of anyone else's then why should I have to spend £40 of my money (because it's the norm to buy the good quality thorntons chocolates and costco cakes, so it's not even a couple of quid), on something that I don't choose to be returned to me. It's technically unfair on me. My birthday is on Friday this week, and I spoke to one of my collegues at work, who said "well if you're not bringing anything, then you can't have any when I bring my treats" and I just looked and said " yeah...I don't want them, clearly you haven't paid attention to what I just said".:rolleyes:

    I'm making this thread early, just in case anyone convinces me I should do something for Friday, I'm really not up for spending £40 on other people, who tbh, I don't really like.
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    How long do you plan on working there and how much do you think it will annoy your workmates?

    At ours if you didn't bring in b'day cakes you'd start some kind of secretary-geddon and be typing up your own work for ever more, as a result at 40 quid it's an absolute snip.
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    My work is seperate from anyone elses, so it's not like my job will be affected or I will get less help.

    This is my career, so I plan on staying here for at least another few more years.

    I genuinely don't know how much it will annoy them, tbh they wouldn't know it was my bday of it wasn't for the damn card that gets passed around for everyone to sign (so standard). Everyone also brings more than they need, so much of it goes to waste, but they buy enough for everyone (just in case) and then bin the rest when no one eats it. I don't really appreciate paying £40 worth of food then binning £15-20 of it. Its the principle of me bringing stuff for everyone, but in my mind, it's the principle of not bringing stuff as I didn't want anything from them. If they want a damn birthday cake, go buy it themselves.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So it's a traditional thing at work that whenever it is someone's birthday, they bring in treats for everyone. Cheesecake, chocolates etc. I'm on a strict diet, so I literally don't touch it, and I haven't since I have started work (14 months ago). I only allow myself one chocolate a week, which is usually a kinder bueno because they are my favourite.

    Last year, I bought stuff in for my birthday, but this year I don't want to. I appreciate it is my turn, but if I haven't had anything of anyone else's then why should I have to spend £40 of my money (because it's the norm to buy the good quality thorntons chocolates and costco cakes, so it's not even a couple of quid), on something that I don't choose to be returned to me. It's technically unfair on me. My birthday is on Friday this week, and I spoke to one of my collegues at work, who said "well if you're not bringing anything, then you can't have any when I bring my treats" and I just looked and said " yeah...I don't want them, clearly you haven't paid attention to what I just said".:rolleyes:

    I'm making this thread early, just in case anyone convinces me I should do something for Friday, I'm really not up for spending £40 on other people, who tbh, I don't really like.

    Stop being so mean - it is all about creating a nice atmosphere at work. Your colleagues obviously like to do it and you just come across as a tight arse.

    If you don't want to do cake or suchlike, why don't you bring in a whole bunch of kinder bueno for them to share.
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    If you don't bring some in I can see that they will turn very cold towards you. Even if you don't eat it the others do, and it's a nice little gesture. You could always bring in healthy snacks for you anyway, and then bring in some chocolate for the others - that way you wouldn't even be breaking your diet.
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    Spend less. No-one will complain and they will have all forgotten about it quickly. £40 is a bit much to be spending on birthday cake tbh.
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    (Original post by squeakysquirrel)
    If you don't want to do cake or suchlike, why don't you bring in a whole bunch of kinder bueno for them to share.
    This made me laugh way too much
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    Is there some sort of middle ground you could find? Such as just a cake but no extra chocolates or cheaper goods? Or something like a fruit platter or healthy treats that you could eat too? £40 seems excessive but the tradition in general exists to create a nice atmosphere and build relationships. It's a bit like the advice about being nice to everyone on your way up because you never know who you'll pass on the way back down; building postive working relationships is always beneficial because you never know when you'll need a bit of support or who might end up your superior one day!
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    I really can't stand strict dieters, stop being so uptight and pompous and treat yourself to a bit of cake and chocolate on your birthday, it's not going to give you diabetes or put on 50 pounds. No offence, op. Buy a tin of Quality Street and some little cakes.
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    Its not about a quid pro quo deal. It's simply a kind gesture. These people aren't aware that you're not eating the stuff they bring in, and frankly it shouldn't matter that you don't eat it its for their benefit not yours. Its meant to be a kind gesture to fellow coworkers
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    Its not about food, its about sharing and being part of a group. Sharing food and celebrating significant events have always been a way to initiate and reinforce social bonds.

    Get the cakes or you'll be seen as disruptive edged out of the social group.
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    Or you could bake. That's what I usually do. Most people at work bring it bought cakes for birthdays and occasional baking the rest of the year. I bring in homemade cupcakes/cookies which is way cheaper and shows I've made an effort plus its fun to make and decorate them.
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    Why not bring in some healthy snacks for everyone to share? Then you won't be thought of as tight or excluded from the group, but you can still enjoy the snacks yourself. It might even convince others to do the same on their birthday which you can then enjoy - I'm sure there are others in the office who are also fed up of having cake all the time. Maybe something like a big platter of fruit - strawberries, blackberries etc? Or vegetables sticks and dips?
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    Basically what everyone else has said; Just bring some stuff in. £40 is excessive, so just spend a tenner or something on some treats - I doubt anyone will complain at you for them not bring Thorntons!

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    Wow, I'd have thought that Scrooge McDuck was a little old to have a TSR account.
    Just take a damn cake in. My favourite relatives are the vegetarian ones who serve meat for the rest of their family because they realise that imposing their lifestyles on others is a dickish thing to do, and the gesture is always appreciated. Same principle applies.
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    (Original post by jenhasdreams)
    Why not bring in some healthy snacks for everyone to share? Then you won't be thought of as tight or excluded from the group, but you can still enjoy the snacks yourself. It might even convince others to do the same on their birthday which you can then enjoy - I'm sure there are others in the office who are also fed up of having cake all the time. Maybe something like a big platter of fruit - strawberries, blackberries etc? Or vegetables sticks and dips?

    (Original post by Sazzle4)
    Is there some sort of middle ground you could find? Such as just a cake but no extra chocolates or cheaper goods? Or something like a fruit platter or healthy treats that you could eat too? £40 seems excessive but the tradition in general exists to create a nice atmosphere and build relationships. It's a bit like the advice about being nice to everyone on your way up because you never know who you'll pass on the way back down; building postive working relationships is always beneficial because you never know when you'll need a bit of support or who might end up your superior one day!
    (Original post by squeakysquirrel)
    Stop being so mean - it is all about creating a nice atmosphere at work. Your colleagues obviously like to do it and you just come across as a tight arse.

    If you don't want to do cake or suchlike, why don't you bring in a whole bunch of kinder bueno for them to share.

    It's not about me bringing stuff in which is healthy for me to eat too, it's the fact that I have to even bring anything in, in the first place. If I haven't eaten anyone else's it's not like I am taking the piss. I hate this obligation that I have to return a favour which I haven't accepted!

    By the sounds of this thread, it looks like I am buying something, despite the fact that I haven't touched their food since I started work. I may as well buy chocolates, because it's cheaper than fruits. I'll save the receipts as well to return the £15-£20 worth of food they haven't eaten, if no one has opened it.

    I thought all this BS at work was supposed to be OPTIONAL. urrghh
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    You are a tightarse.

    Grow up and smile.
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    You could buy a nice bag of candy and give your colleges one, kinda like you do in school. It's better to bring something, but I think your colleges should bring something for you, like a surprise.... If there are more than 20 people, then you don't need to bring anything, as you're probably not close with many of them...
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    Shouldn't they be buying YOU cake on your Birthday?
 
 
 
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