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Graduating university, living with parents Watch

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    Hey, im 23 and have just graduated and now im living at home.
    I feel like ive stepped back five years to when i started university. Ive drifted away from many of my friends back home, so i really have absolutely no social life and its really depressing.

    I didn't meet a gf at university, which is something i really wanted to get out of university. My friends are all jotted all over the UK now, and all i can think about is me being sat there in some apartment in 2 years when i get a job away from here, on my own with no friends besides a few 'work friends' and no relationship because i have no way of meeting people. It sounds like hell to me. At the moment im just living every day doing errands for the family until i find a job and finish my thesis.
    Two of my friends say i should try and get a job back up where they live near uni where they live, but they are a couple now so i doubt i would spend alot of time with them.
    I've always picture finishing university in a stable relationship, and just going for the best job possible regardless of location, and wouldn't really worry about these things. Is anyone else in the same position as me / experienced the same?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey, im 23 and have just graduated and now im living at home.
    I feel like ive stepped back five years to when i started university. Ive drifted away from many of my friends back home, so i really have absolutely no social life and its really depressing.

    I didn't meet a gf at university, which is something i really wanted to get out of university. My friends are all jotted all over the UK now, and all i can think about is me being sat there in some apartment in 2 years when i get a job away from here, on my own with no friends besides a few 'work friends' and no relationship because i have no way of meeting people. It sounds like hell to me. At the moment im just living every day doing errands for the family until i find a job and finish my thesis.
    Two of my friends say i should try and get a job back up where they live near uni where they live, but they are a couple now so i doubt i would spend alot of time with them.
    I've always picture finishing university in a stable relationship, and just going for the best job possible regardless of location, and wouldn't really worry about these things. Is anyone else in the same position as me / experienced the same?
    So, going to university to get a girlfriend. You got into £30,000 of debt just to find a girlfriend? Even worse, you failed.

    Ouch.

    You could have hired an adult worker to be your girlfriend and give you every need and want for a whole year and more for that.

    You will meet friends when you get a job, and your network will grow there. You will then have the chance to meet a girl and have the relationship you desire.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey, im 23 and have just graduated and now im living at home.
    I feel like ive stepped back five years to when i started university. Ive drifted away from many of my friends back home, so i really have absolutely no social life and its really depressing.

    I didn't meet a gf at university, which is something i really wanted to get out of university. My friends are all jotted all over the UK now, and all i can think about is me being sat there in some apartment in 2 years when i get a job away from here, on my own with no friends besides a few 'work friends' and no relationship because i have no way of meeting people. It sounds like hell to me. At the moment im just living every day doing errands for the family until i find a job and finish my thesis.
    Two of my friends say i should try and get a job back up where they live near uni where they live, but they are a couple now so i doubt i would spend alot of time with them.
    I've always picture finishing university in a stable relationship, and just going for the best job possible regardless of location, and wouldn't really worry about these things. Is anyone else in the same position as me / experienced the same?
    You wanted a stable relationship and be able to get a good job even if it means relocating. You are aware that chances are those two things won't work since: 1. New location could be far from hypothetical gf and LDR is not easy. 2. Bit selfish to ask a gf to move away with you.

    Think you need to get your priorities right and sort your life out first. Also you wanting a gf out of university, well you didn't have to rack up all that debt when you can just as easily have met someone if you went straight to work.

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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Yeah, i didnt go to uni specifically to get a girlfriend lol. I have a good engineering degree. Of course i wouldnt expect her to move where ever i work, but it would just be nice to have some focus after i left uni. I just feel like ive missed the best opportunity find one.
    Im just slightly apprehensive of being miles away on my own, and all my friends are in relationships so it highlights this even further. But thanks for the replies, it does sound pretty stupid when you look at it.
    • #2
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey, im 23 and have just graduated and now im living at home.
    I feel like ive stepped back five years to when i started university. Ive drifted away from many of my friends back home, so i really have absolutely no social life and its really depressing.

    I didn't meet a gf at university, which is something i really wanted to get out of university. My friends are all jotted all over the UK now, and all i can think about is me being sat there in some apartment in 2 years when i get a job away from here, on my own with no friends besides a few 'work friends' and no relationship because i have no way of meeting people. It sounds like hell to me. At the moment im just living every day doing errands for the family until i find a job and finish my thesis.
    Two of my friends say i should try and get a job back up where they live near uni where they live, but they are a couple now so i doubt i would spend alot of time with them.
    I've always picture finishing university in a stable relationship, and just going for the best job possible regardless of location, and wouldn't really worry about these things. Is anyone else in the same position as me / experienced the same?
    I'm in the same situation of no friends back home while all my uni friends are all over the uk and my best friend moved to Australia. I just hope after getting a job in a new area my life will start to slot into place.

    Also I'm a loner type since I was effected from being bullied all the way through school for my dyslexia and being different. This has made me social awkward and appear weird even though I try to appear normal I can't convince people.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey, im 23 and have just graduated and now im living at home.
    I feel like ive stepped back five years to when i started university. Ive drifted away from many of my friends back home, so i really have absolutely no social life and its really depressing.

    I didn't meet a gf at university, which is something i really wanted to get out of university. My friends are all jotted all over the UK now, and all i can think about is me being sat there in some apartment in 2 years when i get a job away from here, on my own with no friends besides a few 'work friends' and no relationship because i have no way of meeting people. It sounds like hell to me. At the moment im just living every day doing errands for the family until i find a job and finish my thesis.
    Two of my friends say i should try and get a job back up where they live near uni where they live, but they are a couple now so i doubt i would spend alot of time with them.
    I've always picture finishing university in a stable relationship, and just going for the best job possible regardless of location, and wouldn't really worry about these things. Is anyone else in the same position as me / experienced the same?

    I can TOTALLY relate to this. I'm the same age as you, dying to move out although it's really not an option right now. I'd love to meet someone but it's just proving tricky especially with friends working during the day etc. Proving ridiculously hard to even find a basic job- I've graduated 2 years ago now. So I can totally understand how you feel. Living at home just isn;t for me anymore- need my own space now.
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    Engineers get girlfriends and get laid?!
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    I'm in the same situation, message me if you ever want a vent/chat
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    Can't really offer any help seeing as I'm in the same situation, but it's good to know I'm not alone! Maybe try and aim to move out as soon as possible and hopefully you can work on making friends/getting a girlfriend from there, it's difficult to get them all at once, even though I can totally empathise with the ruined expectations and comparing yourself to your friends. The only good thing is knowing it won't be like this forever.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey, im 23 and have just graduated and now im living at home.
    I feel like ive stepped back five years to when i started university. Ive drifted away from many of my friends back home, so i really have absolutely no social life and its really depressing.

    I didn't meet a gf at university, which is something i really wanted to get out of university. My friends are all jotted all over the UK now, and all i can think about is me being sat there in some apartment in 2 years when i get a job away from here, on my own with no friends besides a few 'work friends' and no relationship because i have no way of meeting people. It sounds like hell to me. At the moment im just living every day doing errands for the family until i find a job and finish my thesis.
    Two of my friends say i should try and get a job back up where they live near uni where they live, but they are a couple now so i doubt i would spend alot of time with them.
    I've always picture finishing university in a stable relationship, and just going for the best job possible regardless of location, and wouldn't really worry about these things. Is anyone else in the same position as me / experienced the same?
    In exactly the same situation, all of my friends elseware.

    It gets harder as you grow older - as many of them get married (UNLESS you do a job where you are meeting people)...I work in It, so meh.
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    Work doesn't have to be anti-social. I've made some good friends in my current job. I've pretty much forgotten my uni friends. Also there's always a good chance to meet people through house-sharing. I could've got a flat but chose a house-share just cause it's more social.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey, im 23 and have just graduated and now im living at home.
    I feel like ive stepped back five years to when i started university. Ive drifted away from many of my friends back home, so i really have absolutely no social life and its really depressing.

    I didn't meet a gf at university, which is something i really wanted to get out of university. My friends are all jotted all over the UK now, and all i can think about is me being sat there in some apartment in 2 years when i get a job away from here, on my own with no friends besides a few 'work friends' and no relationship because i have no way of meeting people. It sounds like hell to me. At the moment im just living every day doing errands for the family until i find a job and finish my thesis.
    Two of my friends say i should try and get a job back up where they live near uni where they live, but they are a couple now so i doubt i would spend alot of time with them.
    I've always picture finishing university in a stable relationship, and just going for the best job possible regardless of location, and wouldn't really worry about these things. Is anyone else in the same position as me / experienced the same?
    Do something like camp america, get paid for it and meet people. Kills two birds with one stone and hopefully you will find some perspective from it.
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    (Original post by SloaneRanger)
    Do something like camp america, get paid for it and meet people. Kills two birds with one stone and hopefully you will find some perspective from it.
    You done that?
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    You done that?
    No i don't have socialising problems. I meet to many people on a daily basis to the point i need one day in the week, i don't speak to anyone. If my options diminished i would do.
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    (Original post by SloaneRanger)
    No i don't have socialising problems. I meet to many people on a daily basis to the point i need one day in the week, i don't speak to anyone. If my options diminished i would do.
    Your job helps.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    Your job helps.
    Going back to university also helps, I don't look a day over 18. But all the wrong reasons to go to university just to get laid. It might help in your situation to consider a masters and with your grades you know would get in somewhere good! 2:1, think about it opportunity to meet new people.
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    At 9k a year?
    (Original post by SloaneRanger)
    Going back to university also helps, I don't look a day over 18. But all the wrong reasons to go to university just to get laid. It might help in your situation to consider a masters and with your grades you know would get in somewhere good! 2:1, think about it opportunity to meet new people.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    At 9k a year?
    You could get funding or a bursary its worth the investment.
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    Do people really go to university expecting/hoping to get a girlfriend/boyfriend out of it? :lolwut:

    Coming from a South Asian male perspective, my aim is to just try and bang as many girls as I can, come back home after all that experience and then settle down with a "good South Asian girl" by either love marriage or arranged marriage (don't have a problem with AM).

    My best advice to you would be to get yourself out there, go to bars on your own, cinemas on your own, libraries, museums, you'll eventually meet different people (I don't do this myself, because I'm not in your situation). Volunteering is a great way to meet new people. Try get a part-time job just to keep you motivated and headed in the right direction. Don't try fixating on the fact that you "want a girlfriend", instead try focussing on the fact that you want to "have fun and meet new people". You may come off desperate if you keep pursuing for love. It will happen naturally.
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    OP, I know many beautiful and awesome girls who have stayed single, even after university. The same with guys - it's not a problem.

    Get out there, do the things that interest you and love will come. I mean, I never knew I was going to fall for my flatmate but it happened.
 
 
 
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