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My best friend is obsessed with race Watch

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    First, a bit of context: I'm black (but british born, as are my parents) and my best friend is white.
    The problem is that whenever I happen to mention to her that I like somebody, her first question is 'Okay, but what race are they?'. Then she makes weird comments like 'Oh, I can only see you with black guys' and 'Yeah, I really can't imagine you ever dating a white guy'. I don't understand why race is such a major factor in the people I like and date. I date people I like, regardless of race.
    She's known for saying things like 'Oh, I would date a black guy, but I definitely wouldn't marry one. I don't think they're marryable'.
    The other day, we were having a discussion about the world cup. I was saying that it was funny that england were out so early and she retaliated by saying that 'it's only because the people in the other, poorer countries have nothing else to do'. When I asked her what she meant, she said that she was talking about the fact that in Africa, they're all poor so they have nothing else to do but to fetch water and play football. When I tried to explain to her that, no, a lot of people in Africa AREN'T poor and the majority have proper jobs, cars and houses, she brushed me off. This is somebody that has never been to Africa in her life.
    She also makes rather ignorant comments. The other day, she said to my friend who is south asian that 'it must be nice to not worry about dating, as your parents are arranging a marriage for you'. My south asian friend was rather offended, as she has never said anything about having an arranged marriage to my best friend (and she's not).
    She calls East Asian people 'weird'. I am an avid fan of korean music. When I asked her if her boyfriend listened to korean music, she said: 'no, because he's white. White people don't listen to that weird music'.

    What the hell is wrong with her? I've only just started noticing, so these are the most recent examples, but it's been an ongoing problem throughout our friendship (almost 7 years now).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
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    She genuinely sounds racist and very, very ignorant. Have you tried pointing out to her what her perceptions mean and how they're very wrong?
    Also what race are her closest friends/family- just for background context of her exposure to people of other than white races.
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    She's racist. How is that not obvious?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First, a bit of context: I'm black (but british born, as are my parents) and my best friend is white.
    The problem is that whenever I happen to mention to her that I like somebody, her first question is 'Okay, but what race are they?'. Then she makes weird comments like 'Oh, I can only see you with black guys' and 'Yeah, I really can't imagine you ever dating a white guy'. I don't understand why race is such a major factor in the people I like and date. I date people I like, regardless of race.
    She's known for saying things like 'Oh, I would date a black guy, but I definitely wouldn't marry one. I don't think they're marryable'.
    The other day, we were having a discussion about the world cup. I was saying that it was funny that england were out so early and she retaliated by saying that 'it's only because the people in the other, poorer countries have nothing else to do'. When I asked her what she meant, she said that she was talking about the fact that in Africa, they're all poor so they have nothing else to do but to fetch water and play football. When I tried to explain to her that, no, a lot of people in Africa AREN'T poor and the majority have proper jobs, cars and houses, she brushed me off. This is somebody that has never been to Africa in her life.
    She also makes rather ignorant comments. The other day, she said to my friend who is south asian that 'it must be nice to not worry about dating, as your parents are arranging a marriage for you'. My south asian friend was rather offended, as she has never said anything about having an arranged marriage to my best friend (and she's not).
    She calls East Asian people 'weird'. I am an avid fan of korean music. When I asked her if her boyfriend listened to korean music, she said: 'no, because he's white. White people don't listen to that weird music'.

    What the hell is wrong with her? I've only just started noticing, so these are the most recent examples, but it's been an ongoing problem throughout our friendship (almost 7 years now).
    How can you be friends with a person like this never mind best friends...
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Green Velvet)
    She genuinely sounds racist and very, very ignorant. Have you tried pointing out to her what her perceptions mean and how they're very wrong?
    Also what race are her closest friends/family- just for background context of her exposure to people of other than white races.
    Yes, we all have. She's annoyingly dismissive.
    They're all white, except for me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First, a bit of context: I'm black (but british born, as are my parents) and my best friend is white.
    The problem is that whenever I happen to mention to her that I like somebody, her first question is 'Okay, but what race are they?'. Then she makes weird comments like 'Oh, I can only see you with black guys' and 'Yeah, I really can't imagine you ever dating a white guy'. I don't understand why race is such a major factor in the people I like and date. I date people I like, regardless of race.
    She's known for saying things like 'Oh, I would date a black guy, but I definitely wouldn't marry one. I don't think they're marryable'.
    The other day, we were having a discussion about the world cup. I was saying that it was funny that england were out so early and she retaliated by saying that 'it's only because the people in the other, poorer countries have nothing else to do'. When I asked her what she meant, she said that she was talking about the fact that in Africa, they're all poor so they have nothing else to do but to fetch water and play football. When I tried to explain to her that, no, a lot of people in Africa AREN'T poor and the majority have proper jobs, cars and houses, she brushed me off. This is somebody that has never been to Africa in her life.
    She also makes rather ignorant comments. The other day, she said to my friend who is south asian that 'it must be nice to not worry about dating, as your parents are arranging a marriage for you'. My south asian friend was rather offended, as she has never said anything about having an arranged marriage to my best friend (and she's not).
    She calls East Asian people 'weird'. I am an avid fan of korean music. When I asked her if her boyfriend listened to korean music, she said: 'no, because he's white. White people don't listen to that weird music'.

    What the hell is wrong with her? I've only just started noticing, so these are the most recent examples, but it's been an ongoing problem throughout our friendship (almost 7 years now).

    She seems to be a very racist person with serious reservations. You should try to confront her with some of your other friends.
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    LOOOL wow. your friend is a racist and really dumb too.
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    (Original post by londoncricket)
    She seems to be a very racist person with serious reservations. You should try to confront her with some of your other friends.
    Problem is that a lot of my friends fawn over her.
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    Tell her the truth then? Always call them out, I know some annoying people like this :rolleyes:

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First, a bit of context: I'm black (but british born, as are my parents) and my best friend is white.
    The problem is that whenever I happen to mention to her that I like somebody, her first question is 'Okay, but what race are they?'. Then she makes weird comments like 'Oh, I can only see you with black guys' and 'Yeah, I really can't imagine you ever dating a white guy'. I don't understand why race is such a major factor in the people I like and date. I date people I like, regardless of race.
    She's known for saying things like 'Oh, I would date a black guy, but I definitely wouldn't marry one. I don't think they're marryable'.
    The other day, we were having a discussion about the world cup. I was saying that it was funny that england were out so early and she retaliated by saying that 'it's only because the people in the other, poorer countries have nothing else to do'. When I asked her what she meant, she said that she was talking about the fact that in Africa, they're all poor so they have nothing else to do but to fetch water and play football. When I tried to explain to her that, no, a lot of people in Africa AREN'T poor and the majority have proper jobs, cars and houses, she brushed me off. This is somebody that has never been to Africa in her life.
    She also makes rather ignorant comments. The other day, she said to my friend who is south asian that 'it must be nice to not worry about dating, as your parents are arranging a marriage for you'. My south asian friend was rather offended, as she has never said anything about having an arranged marriage to my best friend (and she's not).
    She calls East Asian people 'weird'. I am an avid fan of korean music. When I asked her if her boyfriend listened to korean music, she said: 'no, because he's white. White people don't listen to that weird music'.

    What the hell is wrong with her? I've only just started noticing, so these are the most recent examples, but it's been an ongoing problem throughout our friendship (almost 7 years now).
    Stuff like that is sad. Penis is penis, vagina is vagina. If colour bothers you face away or turn the lights off
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First, a bit of context: I'm black (but british born, as are my parents) and my best friend is white.
    The problem is that whenever I happen to mention to her that I like somebody, her first question is 'Okay, but what race are they?'. Then she makes weird comments like 'Oh, I can only see you with black guys' and 'Yeah, I really can't imagine you ever dating a white guy'. I don't understand why race is such a major factor in the people I like and date. I date people I like, regardless of race.
    She's known for saying things like 'Oh, I would date a black guy, but I definitely wouldn't marry one. I don't think they're marryable'.
    The other day, we were having a discussion about the world cup. I was saying that it was funny that england were out so early and she retaliated by saying that 'it's only because the people in the other, poorer countries have nothing else to do'. When I asked her what she meant, she said that she was talking about the fact that in Africa, they're all poor so they have nothing else to do but to fetch water and play football. When I tried to explain to her that, no, a lot of people in Africa AREN'T poor and the majority have proper jobs, cars and houses, she brushed me off. This is somebody that has never been to Africa in her life.
    She also makes rather ignorant comments. The other day, she said to my friend who is south asian that 'it must be nice to not worry about dating, as your parents are arranging a marriage for you'. My south asian friend was rather offended, as she has never said anything about having an arranged marriage to my best friend (and she's not).
    She calls East Asian people 'weird'. I am an avid fan of korean music. When I asked her if her boyfriend listened to korean music, she said: 'no, because he's white. White people don't listen to that weird music'.

    What the hell is wrong with her? I've only just started noticing, so these are the most recent examples, but it's been an ongoing problem throughout our friendship (almost 7 years now).
    As other people have said, she's quite obviously racist. If it bothers you then I'd re-evaluate your friendship with her. The only thing you can do is try to educate her but the whole confronting thing is a bad idea...she'll only start to hide how she really feels.
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    I've met quite a few people like this OP, they annoy the hell out of me with their racial stereotypes and bull****. I guess the only thing you can do is keep confronting her, but I doubt she'll ever learn tbh.
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    (Original post by TheAnusFiles)
    Stuff like that is sad. Penis is penis, vagina is vagina. If colour bothers you face away or turn the lights off
    so inspirational, words to live by :beard:
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    She's a racist *****. Sever you friendship.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by SMEGGGY)
    She's a racist *****. Sever you friendship.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Not a problem, I'm changing schools for sixth form.
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      I listen to Korean music too hehe and im south Asian. But yeah, she seems to really stereotype people and thinks they should just go with the stereotype rather than go against it.
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      Unfortunately, people like this exist in the world. You may want to hang on to your friendship, but remember this.
      There will be a point in her life when her views will hold her back further. One day, her views will be challenged and it will prevent her from doing something she may want to do. If she can't change now even if you voice your opinion, what makes you think that her opinion will change later when she is challenged by a complete stranger. In other words, I'm sorry to say this about your friend, but it seems like she is unable to think for her own-self, is blinded by ignorance.
      You don't have to sever your ties completely, but just remember that one day you might want to discover something new and her views may hold you back.
      (If any of that made sense)
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      damn. do people like this exist in 2014
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      Wow, if only she could hear herself. Have you said anything about this to her? I understand if you don't have the patience. What are her parents like?
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      (Original post by brownsugar-xx)
      so inspirational, words to live by :beard:
      Its done me pretty well
      :perv:
     
     
     
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