Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hello

    Im finding it slightly hard to get over a break up right now. Most of the time now, i'm able to function and am getting better but there are times where i feel so down. My ex gf ended our relationship. We was in an LDR and she ended it by just ignoring me completely for one and a half month (still havent heard from her). I've given up trying to contact her now because it just makes me paranoid in waiting for a message but im very down about it...one day it seemed fine but the next day, i just got no messages back from her, was just ignored completely and got nothing. it's been very hard - i tried to tell myself it was nothing at first, then got worried in case maybe something happened to her but then saw that she was still active on her social networking sites (where we usually talked too...she didnt block me on those but was ignoring my messages completely) so came to the conclusion finally that it was over...it really has hurt me though, i feel absolutely worthless about it all.

    What upsets me the most is that for her party a few weeks ago, she invited some guy who once tried to sexually assault her and she can talk to this person on the social networking stuff even though it is brief. It made me think if she can even talk to this person or invite him out to things, i must be a very bad person if she cant even message me but i don't know what i did, as i said, one minute i thought it would be fine but then the next she did this. I keep asking myself questions like did she cheat? some close family also are ill and some died recently and she knew i was sad about that...i just wish she told me what was up and told me she wanted to end it rather than torturing me like this and making it much harder to deal with everything else. i keep hating myself too sometimes because i sometimes convince myself it was all my fault as to why she did this but then i cant think of what i did...sure we had our arguments but they were months ago and we apologised for them but now suddenly...

    any advice on how to deal with it all? i've unfollowed her so i dont see her posts/pictures but sometimes i do see the odd picture of her from someone elses social media and it makes me feel worse seeing her smile and all happy like that leaving me all miserable after this torture. thanks.

    sorry its badly written - i dont want people to work out who i am in case she sees.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    she sounds common ! haha to be honest mate, I think you are better off without her.
    I had a irani boyfriend who was all sweet with me at first but he was just a dogg and he even went to prison in the end, I wrote to him but even after 5 years , I could tell he still hadn't changed, you cant change some people at the end of the day, you know what I mean>>???

    mine is still on facebook too think he has a kid now with some girl - poor thing- only so he can get benefits etc.
    some girls cant smell the coffee until its too late or burnt them! haha
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    It must be very painful for you, breakups are extra hard when no closure is given and to have it come out of the blue like that was unfortunate. But what has happened has happened, and now its time to deal with it.

    What you should remember of her is that she was cruel enough to put you through all this when you were grieving. It doesn't matter why she did it, but she actually did you a favour in that now you are free to find a woman who cares for you. You need to focus on something, find something you can give your attention to fully like a new hobby and in time you'll find that you think of her less and less until you don't at all. There are good women out there, you should try to find one

    No one can take away the pain completely, but know that it is temporary and in a year's time (probably less!), you won't feel like this and you won't care about what she does. Just hold on in there.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by EKMAY)
    she sounds common ! haha to be honest mate, I think you are better off without her.
    I had a irani boyfriend who was all sweet with me at first but he was just a dogg and he even went to prison in the end, I wrote to him but even after 5 years , I could tell he still hadn't changed, you cant change some people at the end of the day, you know what I mean>>???

    mine is still on facebook too think he has a kid now with some girl - poor thing- only so he can get benefits etc.
    some girls cant smell the coffee until its too late or burnt them! haha
    hello, thank you for the reply!

    i know what you mean and im sorry to hear about your bf.

    thanks for your reply, it helped me.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by _Nyx_)
    It must be very painful for you, breakups are extra hard when no closure is given and to have it come out of the blue like that was unfortunate. But what has happened has happened, and now its time to deal with it.

    What you should remember of her is that she was cruel enough to put you through all this when you were grieving. It doesn't matter why she did it, but she actually did you a favour in that now you are free to find a woman who cares for you. You need to focus on something, find something you can give your attention to fully like a new hobby and in time you'll find that you think of her less and less until you don't at all. There are good women out there, you should try to find one

    No one can take away the pain completely, but know that it is temporary and in a year's time (probably less!), you won't feel like this and you won't care about what she does. Just hold on in there.
    hi, thanks for replying!

    you're right...she was my first too so maybe that made it a little bit more harder but lol, i dont know. Most of the time im doing ok now...but theres just the odd time where something happens which makes me remember her (or even randomly) which puts me down and upsets/angers me. i guess i just kind of want her to know how she made me feel so she doesnt do it to anyone again.

    again, thanks for the reply - really helped.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I think you have issues if you want a girlfriend like that. So, I wouldn't even bother with her.

    If you ask yourself "do I want a girl like this" every time you think about her, you shouldn't have a problem
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    Breakups are always hard especially when it is your first, trust me from experience it is better to cut all forms of contact with her, I know it is an old cliche but in time it does get better.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by lee1985)
    I think you have issues if you want a girlfriend like that. So, I wouldn't even bother with her.

    If you ask yourself "do I want a girl like this" every time you think about her, you shouldn't have a problem
    thanks.

    i think what hurts the most is thinking that theres something wrong with me or feeling worthless as a result. Like i said in my first post she could talk to that guy but ignore me completely so it made me think maybe somethings wrong with me. But thats a good way to think, thanks.

    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Breakups are always hard especially when it is your first, trust me from experience it is better to cut all forms of contact with her, I know it is an old cliche but in time it does get better.
    hey, thanks for the reply. i think that will be best.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by _Nyx_)
    It must be very painful for you, breakups are extra hard when no closure is given and to have it come out of the blue like that was unfortunate. But what has happened has happened, and now its time to deal with it.

    What you should remember of her is that she was cruel enough to put you through all this when you were grieving. It doesn't matter why she did it, but she actually did you a favour in that now you are free to find a woman who cares for you. You need to focus on something, find something you can give your attention to fully like a new hobby and in time you'll find that you think of her less and less until you don't at all. There are good women out there, you should try to find one

    No one can take away the pain completely, but know that it is temporary and in a year's time (probably less!), you won't feel like this and you won't care about what she does. Just hold on in there.
    I found this reply/advice very sweet and apt.

    Hang in there buddy. She is exceptionally cruel to ignore you and give you no closure.

    Make no mistake -she knows she is making you suffer, so don't think of her as this nice girl. She isnt.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Spongebob'sPants)
    I found this reply/advice very sweet and apt.

    Hang in there buddy. She is exceptionally cruel to ignore you and give you no closure.

    Make no mistake -she knows she is making you suffer, so don't think of her as this nice girl. She isnt.
    i have been touched by all replied on here so thank you all very much.

    thanks mate, i will try to do so. Yeah, i wish she told me. I keep finding excuses for her too, keep telling myself i deserved it. thanks though, very helpful again.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i have been touched by all replied on here so thank you all very much.

    thanks mate, i will try to do so. Yeah, i wish she told me. I keep finding excuses for her too, keep telling myself i deserved it. thanks though, very helpful again.
    You don't deserve it. She is just being acoward and cruel. It happened to me once, so i know how it feels. You keep going over it in your head.

    But you know what i eventually learned? I didnt need her to tell me it was over for closure. I learned to give myself the closure. Her actions showed it was over - i didnt need the words anymore.

    Take the power and control back and tell yourself its over. A girl who cares for u and respects you wont treat you like this.

    Best wishes.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Spongebob'sPants)
    You don't deserve it. She is just being acoward and cruel. It happened to me once, so i know how it feels. You keep going over it in your head.

    But you know what i eventually learned? I didnt need her to tell me it was over for closure. I learned to give myself the closure. Her actions showed it was over - i didnt need the words anymore.

    Take the power and control back and tell yourself its over. A girl who cares for u and respects you wont treat you like this.

    Best wishes.
    thanks a lot, youve been a great help to me.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 18, 2014
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.