Stay with boyfriend or leave for a 'student lifestyle'???

OK ... So this is my first post and I need your help!

I have been with my boyfriend for two years and I love him with all my heart. I cant imagine life without him. I live with him at his Mum's house and we do EVERYTHING together.

I am going to Uni this year and was planning on staying at home with him and just travelling to lectures etc. If I do this I will not have much of a student lifestyle and will not go out with new friends etc as he is quite possesive.

The thing is ... Uni is meant to be the time of your life and I dont want to miss out. I live in Nottingham and may be offered a place at Leicester Uni through clearing - which means I will have to go away. I want to have the late nights, clubbing and beans-on-toast lifestyle and I cant have this if I stay here.

So ... do I make the most of Uni and leave my bf (a long distance relationship wont work ... as I said he is possessive) and have a good time or do I stay and grow old with the man I love (which I can see happening).

I feel so guilty about even considering this but this is my life and I need to make the most of it. I dont think he will cope on his own either.

Sorry about the lenght and depressing post!!!

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Reply 1

Lalli

If he honestly loves you then he'll let u go to uni. why should you have to sacrifice life when you can make something of yourself. a long distance could work.

p.s see u at Leicester :biggrin:

Reply 2

Plodman

Make of this what you will but.. go to uni...

Reply 3

Daveinnorfolk

Personally i'd go for the 2nd

or

You don't say what your bf does... could you rent a 1bed flat or something in leiecester between you?

Reply 4

lukeitfc

Do uni I say, if he's all posessive and won't let it work, probably just isnt worth it.

Reply 5

User69701

Go to uni. There is a who new lif for you there

Reply 6

Hannah187

Well ... jobs are a different matter. He is somewhat reluctant to get a full time job. He is just a PT sales assistant

Reply 7

ChemistBoy

No offence, but Leicester to Nottingham is hardly what I'd call a 'long distance relationship'! I live in Nottingham and go down to Leicester all the time: 1/2 hour tops down the M1.

Anyway, you have to decide how important your relationship is because moving away into student halls will put strain on it. You need to talk to your boyfriend about it if you haven't already. If you have and he won't let you just go down the road to Leicester then you need to find someone who cares a bit more about your interests. Can either of you drive? If not, it might be good to learn now.

He needs to get a full-time job too.

Reply 8

foxiroxi

He doesn't sound good enough to be honest. I would never let my boyfriend stop me from doing uni things. I'm moving 200 miles from him and I do love him with all my heart and we will make it work. He does worry about me but he knows there's no way of stopping me.

Don't let your boyfriend control your life.

Reply 9

fernyfrenchy

why cant you do both live at uni or what ever and still b with him unless u wanna sleep around i cant see how ur relationship wldnt work
hope everything does work out though
xxxxx

Reply 10

Fleece

If he's possessive then it hardly sounds like the most ideal relationship does it. Possessiveness isn't a good thing to have in a relationship, so why are you sacrificing your future for that? I know you love him etc, but I really think you'd end up resenting him for ruining your uni experience.....

Then you'd be left with no uni experience and no boyfriend. Great stuff.

Reply 11

Kate85

I don;t mean to be offensive but if he is possessive now then surely he'll never change? Are you willing to go through life watching your every move incase you so something to upset him? What about if you want to get a certain job in a certain area and he isn't happy about it, will you just do a job that he deems ok? :redface:

I think you need to nip this in the bud - tell him that you are your own person and that going to Uni is a very important part of your life and he will either have to try a LDR, move with you or finish with each other because you are going to go to Uni regardless, he is the one with the problem not you :smile:

If he truly loved you then surely he would want you to be happy? As corny as it sounds you are an individual and you need to fulfill your own ambitions as an individual :smile:

Reply 12

mipmapped

Go to Uni. The regret will eat you alive after 5 or 10 years.

Reply 13

Hannah187

I know it is a bit dramatic and all but I am scared of not being able to find someone as perfect as him ever again. If I go away I will have to end it because I just cant be worrying about what he will accuse me of next etc

I will feel so bad about leaving him alone ... he tells me everyday how he wouldn't be able to live without me

Reply 14

Vyse12

That is called emotional blackmail. You should not let him use it on you.

Reply 15

username47781

ok if you too really love each other there is surely no need to sacrifice your relationship, i mean i am sure you can still meet friends and go out a few times as long as you don't cheat on him i dont see the problem, however if he is possessive then your relationship will not work at uni.

Reply 16

ChemistBoy

Perfect? A guy who can be arsed to get a proper job, won't let you go a few miles down the road to fulfill your potential. Funny kind of perfect.

Reply 17

.:fluff:.

If he loves you that much then he should let you do whata best for your life. If going to Leicester is whats going to be the best for your future then do it. If not you might be sat at home in 10 years time, stuck doing something you didn't really want to do and regret not taking up this opputunity. Have you spoke to him about maybe getting a place together in leicester?

Reply 18

.:fluff:.

If he loves you that much then he should let you do whata best for your life. If going to Leicester is whats going to be the best for your future then do it. If not you might be sat at home in 10 years time, stuck doing something you didn't really want to do and regret not taking up this chance. Have you spoke to him about maybe getting a place together in leicester?

Reply 19

Sheen

i say go to uni and live your life and do what you want to do.
you can still be together and see eachother, maybe if you tell him you plan to move away to uni he might reconsider and give the long distance relationship thing ago. To be honest its not that bad. my boyfriend know goes to a uni thats alot closer so me which is cool. i wouldnt dream of ever stopping him from going to uni as i plan to go anyway.
if he really loves you he'll be happy for you, let you go to uni and will give it a go.
if you dont go, i think youll regret it.