Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Fed up with people putting me down all the time Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    Hi! I'm 21 and a guy. Basically, i'm fed up with people putting me down all the time... then those people wonder why i'm shy.

    My sister is 18. I try and get on with her, yet she clearly hates me. I lent her a lot of money so she could buy a car. She's paid it all back now, but she's just always, and was back then when she had my money, vile. I'll be nice, I'll help her etc, and yet when her friends are around her, or she's in a mood, it'll be "f**k off you weirdo" and she'll say anything she can to me to hurt my feelings. I'm looking for a job in the area I'd like, I actually have an interview next week, and i'm currently in retail. She said "you've got a crap job, crap life, drop dead".

    People outside of my family say i'm good looking. They do in work yet i've NEVER had a girlfriend. My family put me down about the way I look and I just feel really unconfident. Like about a year ago, I lost a bit of weight. They were commenting how skinny I looked. Then I put on a bit, and I got called fat. My hair gets longer... they say it's scruffy, I get it cut, they comment how short it is. I get my legs out on holiday... they'll laugh they're hairy. I have hairy legs. I don't need to be told that. I feel worried about it because I know a lot of girls don't like hair.

    Yesterday I went to the beach with friends. It was just so nice to sit there, relax, breath in the nice sea air, get a bit of a tan - because my family say how "white" i am... laugh about with my mates, take some nice photos, exchange a smile with a rather attractive girl my age in the chippy haha.

    It was just so nice to be away from my family. As horrible as that sounds, but I felt quite confident and happy there. It was miles away too.

    Even at work I get put down a bit. I've never been confident and always ask what to do to make sure i'm doing a task right. One of the managers said "you always ask all the time!", so on this one thing, I thought i'd feel confident and get on with something. Suddenly, 2 managers come over and tell me off because apparently there's a new way of doing that thing... I was never told.

    So my question... how can I be more confident? I need to stop being so shy and fight back at what people say. In secondary school, there was 2 boys who always picked on me. I had enough one day so when he was sat on a small short wall, I pulled him by his bag, and he fell off. He got laughed at. I felt so cruel doing that and it just wasn't me. He never said anything to me ever again, but it didn't feel right doing that.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    The last point didn't really seem to fit in with the rest of the ting.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 2scotty)
    Hi! I'm 21 and a guy. Basically, i'm fed up with people putting me down all the time... then those people wonder why i'm shy.

    My sister is 18. I try and get on with her, yet she clearly hates me. I lent her a lot of money so she could buy a car. She's paid it all back now, but she's just always, and was back then when she had my money, vile. I'll be nice, I'll help her etc, and yet when her friends are around her, or she's in a mood, it'll be "f**k off you weirdo" and she'll say anything she can to me to hurt my feelings. I'm looking for a job in the area I'd like, I actually have an interview next week, and i'm currently in retail. She said "you've got a crap job, crap life, drop dead".

    People outside of my family say i'm good looking. They do in work yet i've NEVER had a girlfriend. My family put me down about the way I look and I just feel really unconfident. Like about a year ago, I lost a bit of weight. They were commenting how skinny I looked. Then I put on a bit, and I got called fat. My hair gets longer... they say it's scruffy, I get it cut, they comment how short it is. I get my legs out on holiday... they'll laugh they're hairy. I have hairy legs. I don't need to be told that. I feel worried about it because I know a lot of girls don't like hair.

    Yesterday I went to the beach with friends. It was just so nice to sit there, relax, breath in the nice sea air, get a bit of a tan - because my family say how "white" i am... laugh about with my mates, take some nice photos, exchange a smile with a rather attractive girl my age in the chippy haha.

    It was just so nice to be away from my family. As horrible as that sounds, but I felt quite confident and happy there. It was miles away too.

    Even at work I get put down a bit. I've never been confident and always ask what to do to make sure i'm doing a task right. One of the managers said "you always ask all the time!", so on this one thing, I thought i'd feel confident and get on with something. Suddenly, 2 managers come over and tell me off because apparently there's a new way of doing that thing... I was never told.

    So my question... how can I be more confident? I need to stop being so shy and fight back at what people say. In secondary school, there was 2 boys who always picked on me. I had enough one day so when he was sat on a small short wall, I pulled him by his bag, and he fell off. He got laughed at. I felt so cruel doing that and it just wasn't me. He never said anything to me ever again, but it didn't feel right doing that.
    You need to be something you currently aren't, and that person needs to be assertive and basically confrontational.
    People get comfortable to someone's weaknesses all too easily. With a change of character, they will learn to change to re: sister.

    Your family don't sound like the greatest bunch of people, but don't take what they say seriously.

    Re: work, you need to reply that you want to do the job correctly so you don't waste time doing it again etc.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Have you ever told your family how you feel about their remarks? About the girlfriend issue, have you ever approached girls or do you wait for them to approach you?
 
 
 
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
    Useful resources
    AtCTs

    Ask the Community Team

    Got a question about the site content or our moderation? Ask here.

    Welcome Lounge

    Welcome Lounge

    We're a friendly bunch. Post here if you're new to TSR.

    Groups associated with this forum:

    View associated groups
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.