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    I'll make this short because it's a horrid topic. When I was 12 I was sexually abused, and violently so (forced), by my brother who was 16. He did not have sex with me and it did not last long - not even the full length of our three week family holiday. I wouldn't really say it's affected me - I've now been with the same partner sexually for many years.

    I informed my partner that I was sexually abused when I was 12, but I left out who did it. I blamed it on a made up person on holiday although the details didn't quite make sense - my partner didn't notice. Nobody knows because my brother is not a bad person and I'm terrified of the backlash this could have. For this reason, I have not told my partner the truth.

    Am I right? It is the only secret I have from him and I feel that I keep it for a good reason. I honestly feel he made a mistake and he's never done anything since.
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    its up to you if you want to tell him or not. if he knows your brother you run the risk of your boyfriend and your brother getting into a fight. your boyfriend loves you so naturally he'd want to hurt anyone who hurts you. your brother hurt you when you were younger though. it doesnt matter if he's a good person or not he still thought it was okay to hurt you in that way. ghandi is known for his peaceful protests and was the good guy but he regularly beat up his wife and a racist. have you told anyone else?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'll make this short because it's a horrid topic. When I was 12 I was sexually abused, and violently so (forced), by my brother who was 16. He did not have sex with me and it did not last long - not even the full length of our three week family holiday. I wouldn't really say it's affected me - I've now been with the same partner sexually for many years.

    I informed my partner that I was sexually abused when I was 12, but I left out who did it. I blamed it on a made up person on holiday although the details didn't quite make sense - my partner didn't notice. Nobody knows because my brother is not a bad person and I'm terrified of the backlash this could have. For this reason, I have not told my partner the truth.

    Am I right? It is the only secret I have from him and I feel that I keep it for a good reason. I honestly feel he made a mistake and he's never done anything since.
    At the end of the day it's your decision as to whether to tell him - if it's not affecting your happiness now, and there's no risk of any further incidents, then I'd say you're perfectly entitled not to tell him, unless you get to the point where you feel massively guilty for not telling him. Hope that made sense, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that
 
 
 
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