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Bullied and still not recovered... Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Basically I was wandering if anyone could shed some light on what could be going on with me.

    Growing up, I was bullied in primary school, secondary school and even sixth form. I know its easy to say, meh, get over it, but it was some pretty ongoing and persistent bullying that stopped me from integrating with my peers. I thought secondary school would be a new chapter but unfortunately, being local, the history of being bullied in primary school seemed to continue. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

    I found it very difficult to integrate and went from an outgoing and fun child to an introverted adult. I developed negative coping strategies. I often acted hostile to people wanting to befriend me, I've never been in any relationship like my peers. I never went to any vacations with the few friends I had. And I rarely go out with my few friends, and hardly ever these days.

    I feel that people don't want to associate with me because I'm not sociable and don't seem to want to integrate. This has been the case at uni where I am at now. My teacher at school said she thought I had developed a mental health condition since I always go on about the same things and can't seen to get over things.

    I feel that I've missed out on a proper childhood and here I am, at 23, still have very few friends, have a negative outlook on life, and feel as though I'm just existing. The only thing going for me is that I'm at uni studying for a decent degree.

    I keep telling myself that as long as you do well in uni, nothing else matters, but I know deep inside thats not true.

    How can I move forward from here ? I really don't want 'therapy' and I have to admit I am someone who tends to ignore problems rather than face them straight on.

    Do I just keep going and wait for things to eventually pass ? Are they likely to ?

    I really appreciate your help
    • #2
    #2

    Sounds strangely like me, apart from our age, I'm 2 years younger. I was a pretty extroverted child but after moving home and some serious highschool bullying, amongst other issues, I have turned into this antisocial introverted creature. It has been many years since the bullying stop, but I'm afraid that there has not been much improvement.

    However, I have learned to pretend that I'm a 'highly functioning member of the public' whilst outdoor. I have never been to any therapy etc., but what helped me were sedatives that I take when I leave home for uni/work etc. Doing well in uni is great but as I found out - when you need a job, you need social skills too..

    To put it shortly, things are not likely to go away on their own, I'm afraid.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Its funny and quite sad looking back now seeing myself thinking that if you hang on in there, things will eventually get better after the bullying stops but this hasn't been the case.

    From an honest perspective, how can one go about sorting this out ?
    • #2
    #2

    I think that if you're against therapy, an outgoing, honest friend that would help you bring you out of your shell would help. Or a boyfriend, perhaps? I think that company also helps a lot. Have you considered giving someone that chance now, whether it would be friendship or a relationship?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think that if you're against therapy, an outgoing, honest friend that would help you bring you out of your shell would help. Or a boyfriend, perhaps? I think that company also helps a lot. Have you considered giving someone that chance now, whether it would be friendship or a relationship?
    I'm actually a guy and not a lady myself But tbh am not looking for a girlfriend as it would be too time consuming with studies. I feel that a girlfriend/wife is something best left till later on down the line.

    Is therapy that useful that its the first line ? What do they actually go through in therapy ?
    • #2
    #2

    Oh my mistake, I'm sorry. I understand that, perhaps a friend would be more useful then.
    Well, personally I have never had any form of therapy, but a lot of people swear by their lives that it can be a lifesaver. There are different kinds of therapies, of course but I believe that the most common one would be CBT, known as cognitive behavioural therapy. Basically, it is a talking therapy aiming to help with your problems by changing the way you think and behave.
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    Almost exactly the same here. It's really weird, I could have written that myself almost word for word.

    There's nothing you can do. Just keep fighting through it. Study hard and get yourself a decent grade.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Stinkum)
    Almost exactly the same here. It's really weird, I could have written that myself almost word for word.

    There's nothing you can do. Just keep fighting through it. Study hard and get yourself a decent grade.
    Do you think it will eventually get better with time and a breakthrough will eventually come ?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically I was wandering if anyone could shed some light on what could be going on with me.

    Growing up, I was bullied in primary school, secondary school and even sixth form. I know its easy to say, meh, get over it, but it was some pretty ongoing and persistent bullying that stopped me from integrating with my peers. I thought secondary school would be a new chapter but unfortunately, being local, the history of being bullied in primary school seemed to continue. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

    I found it very difficult to integrate and went from an outgoing and fun child to an introverted adult. I developed negative coping strategies. I often acted hostile to people wanting to befriend me, I've never been in any relationship like my peers. I never went to any vacations with the few friends I had. And I rarely go out with my few friends, and hardly ever these days.

    I feel that people don't want to associate with me because I'm not sociable and don't seem to want to integrate. This has been the case at uni where I am at now. My teacher at school said she thought I had developed a mental health condition since I always go on about the same things and can't seen to get over things.

    I feel that I've missed out on a proper childhood and here I am, at 23, still have very few friends, have a negative outlook on life, and feel as though I'm just existing. The only thing going for me is that I'm at uni studying for a decent degree.

    I keep telling myself that as long as you do well in uni, nothing else matters, but I know deep inside thats not true.

    How can I move forward from here ? I really don't want 'therapy' and I have to admit I am someone who tends to ignore problems rather than face them straight on.

    Do I just keep going and wait for things to eventually pass ? Are they likely to ?

    I really appreciate your help
    i know it seem really clichéd but i think you should try to move on i mean they always say the strongest are the ones who know that they should get up after a fall
 
 
 
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