The Student Room Group

is she isnt she

Yep its another thread about paronia where the lady is concerned and yep its a long post

Ok ive been going out with my gf for going on four years now. Im 26 shes 20. Now when we first got together we used to spend all ngiht chatting on MSN, exchanging stories etc. This was whilst she had a boyfriend, though nothing happened between us, he treated her like crap stole her money cheated on her etc. They broke up and we got together

Anyway.
Recently though it seems like karma's coming back to bite me in the ass for it. We have this mutual friend (who goes from being gay to bi to straight to gay and oh its hard to keep up) We all speak on MSN and hes come up three times. He lives about a hundred and fifty miles away. All three times he's stopped at hers. Now the things that are making me wonder.

1.) I log off every night cos of work next morning and she says shes logging off to, however sometimes when i cant sleep i go back online and shes still online and so's he (but he's unemployed and stays up all night). I automatically sign in as offline anyhow so they dont see me till i change my status.
2.) Whenever she comes online he always (and i mean every evening) speaks up at exactly the same time despite me and him having been on for a while before hand. And no i didnt speak to him before hand as his status was away. We all know the ways you can appear offline to someone and then become online
3.) The first time he came up we went out with some of my friends they all said that the two looked like they liked each other each other.
4.) She plays a lot of online games, (more than she does with me)
5.) The last time he was up (i cant really remember the time before that) my gf had a feminine problem that prevented sex this lasted for the week he was up but ended when he left.
6.) When he came up the last time even more people noticed how close they seemed though it was mostly done by him (sitting close to her, touching her etc), in the end a friend of mine spoke to her about it (and not politely either)
7.) She keeps saying how unnatractive she finds him and how annoying she finds him yet she talks to him every time.
8.) When he comes to visit she's never online (though i can excuse this for playing the decent host)

Urgh there are other small things that im sure im going to remember in a bit but just based on this what do you guys think. Am i being paranoid or have i got grounds for genuine suspicion. The problem would be breaching the subject. If i so much as mention something thats bothering me about her or the relationship i get the "im a terrible girlfriend" routine.

Im just kind of confused.
I'm telling you, msn is a curse for relationships. It really is.

But from what ur saying, I hate to say it but I think u have more than valid grounds for suspicion (especially goin by the whole idea that she stays online talking to him when she says shes logging off cus i know i personally do that sometimes but only if the other person is worth staying on for).
Reply 2
I think that the amount of things you have brought up about her and him is too much to be paranoia ... however you know that you cannot just accuse her of things.

Dont go by MSN stuff ... look at the points that exclude MSN. IT is a nasty thing and can cause alot of misunderstandings.

Maybe you can talk to him and not her? Or maybe 'pop round' to hers next time he is down?
You're paranoid.
Reply 4
Your 26 and yet your relationship issues majorly revolve around msn? Its not right.
i mean don't mean this in a nasty way but you need to get out more and yes you are being paranoid.

and problem no. 5- it's called a period and they arn't permanent.
Reply 6
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Reply 7
sounds like you don't trust her at all.

no trust = no relationship.

and yeah, sahsum is right.. use a telephone! stop trying to guess why she is away or why she isn't talking to you online. PHONE!
Reply 8
Just 'cause she's signed in it doesn't mean she's there.
I sign in msn and leave it all the time.
LauraDanielle
GTFO msn now...

A wise man once said that direct women make excellent friends.
Reply 10
duuuude, plenty of fish in a sea. chilll. y dont u jus "pop" round hers n switch on the history in msn and "pop" over again in a week and see wats happeni....then u will have no doubt whether she coolio wih u or ur matey boi. like thee slng
Reply 11
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Reply 12
sahsum
Your 26 and yet your relationship issues majorly revolve around msn? Its not right.


exactly what i was thinking

conduct your issues face to face
Reply 13
Sounds like with all these doubts you don't trust her anyway, if you truly trusted her would you notice these things? Sounds like you don't trust her and are looking out for anything to make your doubts seem real.

Best thing it to ask her, even if she lies, you'll be able to tell after going out with her for 4 years, you'll work out her reaction.

As for all this going on in MSN, sounds like you need to get more of a social life as a couple, take her out...cinema, pub, picnic...do coupley things, not just MSN.
Reply 14
we go out every weekend, we speak on msn every single night (when im not with her) hence why i notice a lot via msn.
As for speaking on the phone why phone when youve got msn, i do not want to sit there for hours on end speaking on the phone and niether does she
It is difficult to say. Are you the one who runs around after her and gives her attention? If you are then, cool it off next time he is up and see if she notices. I know it sounds a bit cynical, but you'll get a good idea pretty quickly of the lie of the land. After all, you want to be in a relationship with someone who cares about you, not some bloke who can't even make his mind up yet.