(long and odd post) I know this is very odd but any advice??

Please don't think me an arse for this thread (although I suppose I am) but basically I am a great guy.....no, just bare with me.

I am the kind of guy that can make friends with anyone anywhere and make them laugh, i would say i am very passionate about things, especially music, and individual in my opinions. I also have a disability [and if you aren't familiar with disabilities i suppose you'd say it's fairly severe]. However, oddly, it seems to be becoming an asset to my personality and people who see me seem to be so enlightened by the way I just do things regardless. For instance, me and my family went on holiday to Belguim the other week and the way the day worked out was that we'd all go out in the morning and in the afternoon my parents will pop out for a few hours, sisters will go out shopping and **** so i'd be in glorious isolation with a laptop and an open WIFI... After a few hours I got fairly thirsty so I simply took advantage of the lift and the bar downstairs. And apparently when my parents had a drink there a few hours later the barman got extremely emotional just over the fact that he saw me just come down and live a 'normal' life, he just thought it was amazing.

I spent my 2ndry education in a fairly isolated specialist school in which I didn't make many friends and then i got to the college of the same institute; and as it doesn't cater for A-levellers the way it works is we went off to the local 6th form to study, and the general view of the other ppl who do this is it's extremely hard to make friends with the 6th formers. However, I was just blown over by the amount of people there that took to me, by about a few weeks in I was friends of class-mate's mate's mates :biggrin:

And by the end of college my whole form (this is the mainstream 6th form) unanamously voted me for a nomination for the outstanding contribution to college award; plus I received the 'funniest member' form group oscar (no-one else from the specialist college has ever done anything similar). And friends were telling me just how great it was to know a guy like me, plus a vast number felt close enough to be willing to joke with me about my disability and know I'd enjoy it - the first time my mate said in class 'go on ted, your turn to write' (i can't write) i just felt so touched...

So, sorry for all this egotistical bollecks, what's my point you ask?? Well, as of all this I seem to only have to say 'hi' to a girl to be too far in the friend zone - and I know ppl just normally say 'practise'; but I feel it's just the way I am. I even managed to ask my BIG-TIME crush around to watch a film plus various other things and she didn't even think for a second I may have had an eye to do anything indecent to her :biggrin:

And it seems almost if they feel intimidated when they find out I like them, which explains a very odd guilt-weighted message she sent after it was spelt out (in which she kinda indirectly let me down but still was clear to compliment me). SO, as uni will soon be apon me, how can I still be me, while veering away from the friend-zone and making my somewhat-odd appeal sexy? I don't want to scare girls :frown:

I'm not used to being admired (I'm just a rather crazy disabled guy!) and tbh I find it quite odd!

Reply 1

unfinished sympathy

15

Eccentric Man

Please don't think me an arse for this thread (although I suppose I am) but basically I am a great guy.....no, just bare with me.

I am the kind of guy that can make friends with anyone anywhere and make them laugh, i would say i am very passionate about things, especially music, and individual in my opinions. I also have a disability [and if you aren't familiar with disabilities i suppose you'd say it's fairly severe]. However, oddly, it seems to be becoming an asset to my personality and people who see me seem to be so enlightened by the way I just do things regardless. For instance, me and my family went on holiday to Belguim the other week and the way the day worked out was that we'd all go out in the morning and in the afternoon my parents will pop out for a few hours, sisters will go out shopping and **** so i'd be in glorious isolation with a laptop and an open WIFI... After a few hours I got fairly thirsty so I simply took advantage of the lift and the bar downstairs. And apparently when my parents had a drink there a few hours later the barman got extremely emotional just over the fact that he saw me just come down and live a 'normal' life, he just thought it was amazing.

I spent my 2ndry education in a fairly isolated specialist school in which I didn't make many friends and then i got to the college of the same institute; and as it doesn't cater for A-levellers the way it works is we went off to the local 6th form to study, and the general view of the other ppl who do this is it's extremely hard to make friends with the 6th formers. However, I was just blown over by the amount of people there that took to me, by about a few weeks in I was friends of class-mate's mate's mates :biggrin:

And by the end of college my whole form (this is the mainstream 6th form) unanamously voted me for a nomination for the outstanding contribution to college award; plus I received the 'funniest member' form group oscar (no-one else from the specialist college has ever done anything similar). And friends were telling me just how great it was to know a guy like me, plus a vast number felt close enough to be willing to joke with me about my disability and know I'd enjoy it - the first time my mate said in class 'go on ted, your turn to write' (i can't write) i just felt so touched...

So, sorry for all this egotistical bollecks, what's my point you ask?? Well, as of all this I seem to only have to say 'hi' to a girl to be too far in the friend zone - and I know ppl just normally say 'practise'; but I feel it's just the way I am. I even managed to ask my BIG-TIME crush around to watch a film plus various other things and she didn't even think for a second I may have had an eye to do anything indecent to her :biggrin:

And it seems almost if they feel intimidated when they find out I like them, which explains a very odd guilt-weighted message she sent after it was spelt out (in which she kinda indirectly let me down but still was clear to compliment me). SO, as uni will soon be apon me, how can I still be me, while veering away from the friend-zone and making my somewhat-odd appeal sexy? I don't want to scare girls :frown:

I'm not used to being admired (I'm just a rather crazy disabled guy!) and tbh I find it quite odd!

can i ask what disability you have?

Reply 2

Eccentric Man

OP

8

unfinished sympathy

can i ask what disability you have?

'f course

A purely physical form of cerebral palsy. I walk unaided (wobbly) short distances and use a nanny-trolley for longer distances. My arms/hands don't work very well at all, and my voice can sometimes be harder to understand.

Reply 3

Fleece

15

Can I ask how you manage to type so well if you have trouble with your hands?

(I realised that sounds spiteful but it wasn't, I'm genuinely interested :smile:

)

Reply 4

Eccentric Man

OP

8

Fleece

Can I ask how you manage to type so well if you have trouble with your hands?

lots and lots of practice! I only use 1 finger of my right hand and kinda type with the motion of my whole arm as I find coordinating individual fingers very tricky. You should see my arm go when the exmaniner calls out "1 minute left" :biggrin:

Ppl marvel at my typing speed considering :biggrin:

Haha nice one

I'd guess that because people are so fascinated by disability they immediately want to get to know you on a friends basis. (By the way, hope none of this offends you, it's honestly meant to try and help) So possibly a girl wouldn't look at you in a "fancying" way because you wern't exactly what she was used too. Therefore in order to make girls see you in a romantic light you could maybe try and be more upfront about how you feel? I mean if you got voted funniest guy you've obviously got things going for you!

Maybe you could subtly bring the conversation about relationships/casual fun up when you're in a group just to let people know where your feelings lie. Also, girls can be ridiculously slow about believing that anyone fancies them, so just give it time and patience. Theres always the old cliches of drinks or going for a coffee!

I suppose it's hard to get away from a label of having cp, and therefore people see you in relation to your disability, which can make them see you only in terms of that. However, from the voting etc you've been talking about it seems like you're doing a good job of challenging any disability stereotypes people may have. :biggrin:

Just be as charming as you can be (without being sleazy!) and it should work. Where are you off to for uni?