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Officer, I can explain! Watch

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    A police officer has pulled you over. In the back seat are three items, which the previous person to you has listed. You have to convince the police officer that you are not up to any dastardly deeds by saying something to him.

    For the next poster iiiiis:

    1) An unconscious guy
    2) Fake ID
    3) Selotape
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    (Original post by DannyYYYY)
    1) An unconscious guy
    2) Fake ID
    3) Selotape
    [/CENTER]
    Father of my son. He went clubbing, got into a fight and I brought him home.
    He'd got me fake ID to enter the club too but I didn't want to go.
    I start crying at how bad my life is then sniffle something about the sellotape being a metaphor: Im trying to stick my life back together.

    1. Compass
    2. Old suitcase
    3. Part of a fence
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    I told him to hold it together officer, the Selotape didn't work and the drink got to him. The fake ID? what Fake ID?

    Do you have any children, officer? Get back into your car and drive away. Don't leave your kid's with only one of their two fathers left.
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    (Original post by Reece Sure)
    I told him to hold it together officer, the Selotape didn't work and the drink got to him. The fake ID? what Fake ID?

    Do you have any children, officer? Get back into your car and drive away. Don't leave your kid's with only one of their two fathers left.
    Make sure you list another three items for the next poster.


    (Original post by narcotica)
    Father of my son. He went clubbing, got into a fight and I brought him home.
    He'd got me fake ID to enter the club too but I didn't want to go.
    I start crying at how bad my life is then sniffle something about the sellotape being a metaphor: Im trying to stick my life back together.

    1. Compass
    2. Old suitcase
    3. Part of a fence
    Officer, I'm trying to find the location I need to bury this suitcase and I'm not a modern technology sort of guy. This fence? It's to place around the suitcase after I've buried it. What's in it you ask? Just a few things from my life. It's a time capsule!

    1) A bag of skulls
    2) A chainsaw
    3) A spade
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    I'm in pre-med and those skulls are for the university lab. My father happens to be a wood-chopper and the spade is my imaginary friend Bill. Bill is shy, by the way.

    1) A open bottle of beer
    2) A sword
    3) Candy
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    (Original post by Fernand126)
    I'm in pre-med and those skulls are for the university lab. My father happens to be a wood-chopper and the spade is my imaginary friend Bill. Bill is shy, by the way.

    1) A open bottle of beer
    2) A sword
    3) Candy
    I suffer from a rare disorder known as *super sobriety* which requires me to regularly sip small amounts of beer. I'm currently driving to a renaissance fair to play the part of a knight. I like candy.

    1)Many cannisters of gasoline
    2) a cage full of hamsters
    3)a vibrator which is currently *on*
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    (Original post by 99DeadBaboons)
    I suffer from a rare disorder known as *super sobriety* which requires me to regularly sip small amounts of beer. I'm currently driving to a renaissance fair to play the part of a knight. I like candy.

    1)Many cannisters of gasoline
    2) a cage full of hamsters
    3)a vibrator which is currently *on*
    I'm currently working on a medical trial to assess the negative health effects of gasoline ingestion. We test on hamsters.

    Vibrator, officer? Excuse me, that's a very important piece of technical research equipment which is currently malfunctioning - that's why I've got to drive the gasoline and hamsters over to another lab which can fix it at 3 o clock in the morning.

    1) A dread of human hair
    2) Assorted pharmaceuticals
    3) A circus ringmaster outfit
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    (Original post by Puddles the Monkey)
    I'm currently working on a medical trial to assess the negative health effects of gasoline ingestion. We test on hamsters.

    Vibrator, officer? Excuse me, that's a very important piece of technical research equipment which is currently malfunctioning - that's why I've got to drive the gasoline and hamsters over to another lab which can fix it at 3 o clock in the morning.

    1) A dread of human hair
    2) Assorted pharmaceuticals
    3) A circus ringmaster outfit
    I'm currently suffering from a severe case of hair loss due to the stress of running a newly opened pharmaceutical company, but I'm carrying them currently because the delivery man had broken down and needed to remain with his vehicle. The circus ringmaster outfit, officer? My boyfriend has.... fetishes.

    1) A life size voodoo doll which coincidentally looks like your Year 9 History teacher, Miss McGaw.
    2) A noose.
    3) A stuffed badger.
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    (Original post by AmyAintDead)
    I'm currently suffering from a severe case of hair loss due to the stress of running a newly opened pharmaceutical company, but I'm carrying them currently because the delivery man had broken down and needed to remain with his vehicle. The circus ringmaster outfit, officer? My boyfriend has.... fetishes.

    1) A life size voodoo doll which coincidentally looks like your Year 9 History teacher, Miss McGaw.
    2) A noose.
    3) A stuffed badger.
    Officer, these are for a budget film me and my friends are filming. I'm on my way to the filming location. What's with the doll, you ask? We couldn't find the actual person so we had to make do with this.

    1) Three mexicans who speak no english
    2) The blueprints to a bank
    3) Twenty machine guns.
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    (Original post by DannyYYYY)
    Officer, these are for a budget film me and my friends are filming. I'm on my way to the filming location. What's with the doll, you ask? We couldn't find the actual person so we had to make do with this.

    1) Three mexicans who speak no english
    2) The blueprints to a bank
    3) Twenty machine guns.
    Dude c'mon, you gotta give us a chance!
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    (Original post by Puddles the Monkey)
    Dude c'mon, you gotta give us a chance!
    Okay okay, maybe that was a bit too difficult. :cool:

    1) A glowstick
    2) A huge birthday cake
    3) A tub of live eels
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    (Original post by DannyYYYY)
    Okay okay, maybe that was a bit too difficult. :cool:

    1) A glowstick
    2) A huge birthday cake
    3) A tub of live eels
    Better!
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    (Original post by DannyYYYY)
    Okay okay, maybe that was a bit too difficult. :cool:

    1) A glowstick
    2) A huge birthday cake
    3) A tub of live eels
    I'm going to a Star Wars birthday party for my cousin. I couldn't find a shop that sold toy light sabers so I'm using a giant glowstick instead. The birthday cake is his of course. And the eels are his present- he's always wanted a pet eel. But the eel turned out to be female so he has an eel family now. :lol:

    1. A KFC bucket.
    2. A packet of 1000 balloons.
    3. A drag couple (king and queen) as passengers.

    Lol
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    (Original post by Rainbow Student)
    I'm going to a Star Wars birthday party for my cousin. I couldn't find a shop that sold toy light sabers so I'm using a giant glowstick instead. The birthday cake is his of course. And the eels are his present- he's always wanted a pet eel. But the eel turned out to be female so he has an eel family now. :lol:

    1. A KFC bucket.
    2. A packet of 1000 balloons.
    3. A drag couple (king and queen) as passengers.

    Lol
    It was Brighton Pride this weekend, we're just on the way back from the parade. I'm giving my friends here a lift. The balloons were a gift for winning runners up in the couple's drag competition, but the prize givers were too cheap to fill them with helium :mad:. :yy: Got the KFC because everyone needed greasy food after all that partying!

    1) A bottle of fertiliser
    2) A chef's hat
    3) Goggles
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    (Original post by Puddles the Monkey)
    It was Brighton Pride this weekend, we're just on the way back from the parade. I'm giving my friends here a lift. The balloons were a gift for winning runners up in the couple's drag competition, but the prize givers were too cheap to fill them with helium :mad:. :yy: Got the KFC because everyone needed greasy food after all that partying!

    1) A bottle of fertiliser
    2) A chef's hat
    3) Goggles
    I swim a lot and needed some new goggles, I'm an avid gardener so the fertiliser comes in handy. As for the hat...(emotional breakdown here)I...I...I always wanted to be a chef....I...I'm sorry (starts to calm down)...It's just...I....I guess it gives me closure.

    1) fish hook - no other fishing equipment
    2) nunchuks
    3) frying pan
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    Officer, i have to have my nunchulks to practise my ninja skills! and don't tell anyone but fish hooks are actually really good to fix them (wtf am i on about?) and of course i need to eat fried rice!

    haha thank god i am asian

    1) fifty shades of grey
    2) files of 'wanted' serial killers
    3) bag of used tissues
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    I am going to a Christian Youth book burning, and 50 Shades of Grey is the book I decided to burn. I wanted to look at the files of serial killers to show how atheists are more likely to commit crimes than Christians. I have a slight cold, so used tissues.
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    (Original post by Wissenschaft)
    I am going to a Christian Youth book burning, and 50 Shades of Grey is the book I decided to burn. I wanted to look at the files of serial killers to show how atheists are more likely to commit crimes than Christians. I have a slight cold, so used tissues.
    :lol: Very nice.

    You need to name three items
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    (Original post by Puddles the Monkey)
    :lol: Very nice.

    You need to name three items
    Oops

    1) Someone's dismembered head

    2) Osama bin Laden's Autobiography, with never before seen chapter: 'How to blow up the White House'

    3) An AK-47, which you have in your hands, and are pointing very menacingly at the officer
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    (Original post by Wissenschaft)
    Oops

    1) Someone's dismembered head

    2) Osama bin Laden's Autobiography, with never before seen chapter: 'How to blow up the White House'

    3) An AK-47, which you have in your hands, and are pointing very menacingly at the officer
    Maybe something a little less controversial would be better. :yy:
 
 
 
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