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friend mooches money all the time Watch

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    im beginning to feel a bit of resentment towards my 'friend' who mooches money all the time. when we all go on nights out and get taxis home, he wont contribute towards the payment, not once has he done this. ive paid for all the taxis and he just sits there and says he'll pay me back but never does. if everyone buys a round of drinks, he'll happily be bought one but has not once ever bought anyone a drink. he has a job so this isnt a situation where he has no money, he just seems like he avoids paying and because no one calls him out on it, he's continued to let everyone else foot the bill. for example, if we all went out for a meal and the bill comes, say everyone puts in £10 each so theres a big tip, instead he'd just sit there and not put any money towards it, so the extra for the tip instead pays for his meal and he gets it for free.

    i dont want to fall out with him over it, but im not sure how to put my foot down or confront the issue. i was thinking of trying to get a taxi without him but this will be impossible. and if i say "right lets split it" he'll just be like oh i dont have any money on me, i pay for everything by card. when surely if youre on a night out, you bring enough money for getting home (but obviously hes gotten used to getting a free ride home so spends it all on his drink).

    he's also the type if he owes you money and you ask for it, he'll make up some excuse, then spend money on things RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. so much for not having any money?!
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    This is one of the things I think you have to fall out over, I'm afraid. It's annoying and it will only get more annoying. Moochers mooch until something stops them.

    I'm wait until he isn't busy and then tell him everything. Tell him you won't lend him anything until he coughs up what he already owes you. Make sure he has money before you go anywhere with him. Make it clear that, if he doesn't pay for something, you're going to leave him to deal with the consequences by himself.

    We had a friend that did the tip thing at meals too. Once, when she went to the toilet, we just told the waiters what she was like and said we would pay the bill but could we please hide in the bar for a little while. She came back to a bill on the table and all of us gone. It taught her a lesson, AND she payed her share that night (first time in ages!)
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    (Original post by TheBookThief)
    This is one of the things I think you have to fall out over, I'm afraid. It's annoying and it will only get more annoying. Moochers mooch until something stops them.

    I'm wait until he isn't busy and then tell him everything. Tell him you won't lend him anything until he coughs up what he already owes you. Make sure he has money before you go anywhere with him. Make it clear that, if he doesn't pay for something, you're going to leave him to deal with the consequences by himself.

    We had a friend that did the tip thing at meals too. Once, when she went to the toilet, we just told the waiters what she was like and said we would pay the bill but could we please hide in the bar for a little while. She came back to a bill on the table and all of us gone. It taught her a lesson, AND she payed her share that night (first time in ages!)
    i know what you mean, but im just worried the confrontation wont end well, obviously i dont want to risk the friendship, but what hes doing is wrong and is basically taking advantage and using me and others. i know the simple solution is to say no, but i dont want any drama, for example if i walk out the taxi without paying and he has no money, the driver obviously wont be happy and may contact the police. i suppose all i can do is say before we get in, right do you have money yeah? because he will say things like he's going to buy a take away etc, then not pay any money for the taxi, so he has money on him for food but thinks hes getting a free ride. i personally dont understand people who do this, its basically stealing from your friends.
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    He kinda reminds me of Alan Harper from Two and a Half Men ahaha.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    he will say things like he's going to buy a take away etc, then not pay any money for the taxi, so he has money on him for food but thinks hes getting a free ride. i personally dont understand people who do this, its basically stealing from your friends.
    I've had friends on a nightout who will say ''do you want to go home now?'' So i agree cause they live in the same area as me and then as soon as we set off they're like ''oh i only have £2.00 on me''. Taxi comes to about £15.00 with double fares.. Im not entierly bothered about the money its just the princible that they dont care about using you.

    I guess the only thing you can do is confront them and say you can pay this time you owe me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i personally dont understand people who do this, its basically stealing from your friends.
    This is exactly what they're doing to you. Honestly, if he gets mad about you confronting him and ends the friendship then he's not a good friend, considering you've put up with him basically nicking money without ending the friendship yourself.

    You could put it delicately, I suppose. Say something like, "listen, mate, I really can't afford to be giving you handouts all the time." No matter how much money you've got, you can't be throwing it away all the time, even on your friends.

    Offer to look after his money for him, maybe? Before you go out, ask for the money for the taxi or whatever and then look after it yourself. Then he can't spend it and you'll have his share when it comes to paying time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i know what you mean, but im just worried the confrontation wont end well, obviously i dont want to risk the friendship, but what hes doing is wrong and is basically taking advantage and using me and others. i know the simple solution is to say no, but i dont want any drama, for example if i walk out the taxi without paying and he has no money, the driver obviously wont be happy and may contact the police. i suppose all i can do is say before we get in, right do you have money yeah? because he will say things like he's going to buy a take away etc, then not pay any money for the taxi, so he has money on him for food but thinks hes getting a free ride. i personally dont understand people who do this, its basically stealing from your friends.
    Life is full of confrontations that need to be had. Might as well start now or you'll be a pushover until you learn.


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    (Original post by LightBlueSoldier)
    Life is full of confrontations that need to be had. Might as well start now or you'll be a pushover until you learn.


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    im an honest person, i confront people all the time rather than ***** behind their backs, cos people arent mind readers so dont know if theyve upset you or annoyed you unless you tell them. however its obvious he knows hes doing this, but isnt thinking about how it makes others feel, basically being selfish. i will try to confront it and see what happens, but like someone else said if he falls out over it he's obviously a crappy friend!
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    You need to man up and confront him, I have a friend who constantly does this and I challenge him every time. I now refuse to share a taxi or anything with him.
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    say "you owe me £x, when are you going to pay it back". then listen to whatever excuse he throws at you then reply "i will keep asking you until you give me back my money. until then you wont be borrowing any money from me". he'll have 2 options depending on how much he values your friendship. he'll pay you back and say "i always meant to pay you back i just keep forgetting" or he'll avoid you. hopefully he isnt a ****.
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    (Original post by C-Rooney)
    You need to man up and confront him, I have a friend who constantly does this and I challenge him every time. I now refuse to share a taxi or anything with him.
    i will, otherwise im just going to end up resenting him and i dont want that to happen because otherwise we get on really well and have an amazing friendship. its awkward trying to not share a taxi without outright saying "im not getting one with you". but ill try to be more assertive.
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    You need to put him in a position that he has to pay. And you need to put him in that position all the time. Eg, when the bill comes, LOOK AT HIM FIRST and say you owe x amount - and wait for him.

    I personally would also embarrass him in a "banter" type of way. Eg before you go out make sure you say something like " we have to go to an atm as soon as we get there for you, none of this "I only have card" crap you feed us! hahahaha or Eg when you're going to share cab home be like "mate, before I agree to sharing this cab, do you have money to pay?" and say it loudly in front of everyone. If he says then " I only have card" be like "awesome, before we get the cab, we will go to the atm to get some cash out, oh and don't forget you gotta pay for all the other cab rides as well...you may want to get out of this debt while you still can".

    I would approach it differently than "talking to him about it" because you heard the bs excuses, you don't want to fall out with him, but at the same time,you want to prove your point. Embarrass him and make sure he has cash.
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    (Original post by Wigwam5)
    He kinda reminds me of Alan Harper from Two and a Half Men ahaha.



    I've had friends on a nightout who will say ''do you want to go home now?'' So i agree cause they live in the same area as me and then as soon as we set off they're like ''oh i only have £2.00 on me''. Taxi comes to about £15.00 with double fares.. Im not entierly bothered about the money its just the princible that they dont care about using you.

    I guess the only thing you can do is confront them and say you can pay this time you owe me.
    the thing i dont get is, why would they only leave themselves with £2 to get home? i assume they have a rough idea how much a taxi normally is after a night out, so do you normally have to foot the bill so they arent bothering to keep money leftover for it themselves? i think its just rude! you pay for what you use, nothing in life is for free!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    the thing i dont get is, why would they only leave themselves with £2 to get home? i assume they have a rough idea how much a taxi normally is after a night out, so do you normally have to foot the bill so they arent bothering to keep money leftover for it themselves? i think its just rude! you pay for what you use, nothing in life is for free!
    Because they know they can get you to pay for them.


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    (Original post by stargirl63)
    You need to put him in a position that he has to pay. And you need to put him in that position all the time. Eg, when the bill comes, LOOK AT HIM FIRST and say you owe x amount - and wait for him.

    I personally would also embarrass him in a "banter" type of way. Eg before you go out make sure you say something like " we have to go to an atm as soon as we get there for you, none of this "I only have card" crap you feed us! hahahaha or Eg when you're going to share cab home be like "mate, before I agree to sharing this cab, do you have money to pay?" and say it loudly in front of everyone. If he says then " I only have card" be like "awesome, before we get the cab, we will go to the atm to get some cash out, oh and don't forget you gotta pay for all the other cab rides as well...you may want to get out of this debt while you still can".

    I would approach it differently than "talking to him about it" because you heard the bs excuses, you don't want to fall out with him, but at the same time,you want to prove your point. Embarrass him and make sure he has cash.

    yeah i get what you mean. we went on holiday and you had to pay for the hotel when you get there which is always the case, and he knew that, but when we turned up and everyone was paying their share he just stood there and we turned and looked at him and joked "well pay up!" and he just stood there and was all "i didnt bring any money" when who in their right mind turns up to a holiday with no money?! but he still paid on his card so that was good.

    i think maybe in future when we make plans i should suggest things which dont involve taxis or money, like just hanging out in the park or going for a walk. that way money wont be involved.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    the thing i dont get is, why would they only leave themselves with £2 to get home? i assume they have a rough idea how much a taxi normally is after a night out, so do you normally have to foot the bill so they arent bothering to keep money leftover for it themselves? i think its just rude! you pay for what you use, nothing in life is for free!
    Sometimes though im not even ready to go home i just do so because not many people live in my area and then to find out they expect me to pay is annoying.

    I personally am good with money in a sense that i will budget for my nights so that i have the right amount to get home ect and enjoy myself. Other people must just go out with whatever and arent bothered if others have to pay for them.
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    (Original post by Wigwam5)
    Sometimes though im not even ready to go home i just do so because not many people live in my area and then to find out they expect me to pay is annoying.

    I personally am good with money in a sense that i will budget for my nights so that i have the right amount to get home ect and enjoy myself. Other people must just go out with whatever and arent bothered if others have to pay for them.
    yeah, its easier and *meant to be* cheaper to get a taxi to the same area with a group, but it turns out costing a lot cos one person pays for it all.. which is silly when it could be cheaper for everybody if they all chipped in. 4 people in a £20 ride is only £5 each, not 20 all being paid by one person..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah i get what you mean. we went on holiday and you had to pay for the hotel when you get there which is always the case, and he knew that, but when we turned up and everyone was paying their share he just stood there and we turned and looked at him and joked "well pay up!" and he just stood there and was all "i didnt bring any money" when who in their right mind turns up to a holiday with no money?! but he still paid on his card so that was good.

    i think maybe in future when we make plans i should suggest things which dont involve taxis or money, like just hanging out in the park or going for a walk. that way money wont be involved.
    I understand where you are coming from here, but I disagree that you don't want to go for a night out because of him not paying his fair share. Some things cost money. He needs to understand that. There's no point denying yourself a good night just because you know you would have a load to pay for him. It's also avoiding the actual principle of him paying, not to mention paying you back!

    During the holiday thing - this is why i say you need to joke with him BEFORE you leave, so he has time to go to ATM,has time to get money etc. I still recommend the joke/embarrassment.
    Split the cab money in your head, pay the cabbie your half and say thanks and get out the car "catch you later mate!" . Let him sit in that cab and tell the driver "I only brought card" and let the driver drive him to the cash point. If he confronts you the next day - tell him you were drunk. he will learn his lesson.
    Get him to pay first in a restaurant ( he can use his card). Collect cab money before you leave or make sure you go to ATM before going in the cab. Make sure he is first for the round of drinks etc etc. There's a lot of ways of making someone pay for something without actually confronting them or avoiding the situation by going some where free.
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    (Original post by stargirl63)
    I understand where you are coming from here, but I disagree that you don't want to go for a night out because of him not paying his fair share. Some things cost money. He needs to understand that. There's no point denying yourself a good night just because you know you would have a load to pay for him. It's also avoiding the actual principle of him paying, not to mention paying you back!

    During the holiday thing - this is why i say you need to joke with him BEFORE you leave, so he has time to go to ATM,has time to get money etc. I still recommend the joke/embarrassment.
    Split the cab money in your head, pay the cabbie your half and say thanks and get out the car "catch you later mate!" . Let him sit in that cab and tell the driver "I only brought card" and let the driver drive him to the cash point. If he confronts you the next day - tell him you were drunk. he will learn his lesson.
    Get him to pay first in a restaurant ( he can use his card). Collect cab money before you leave or make sure you go to ATM before going in the cab. Make sure he is first for the round of drinks etc etc. There's a lot of ways of making someone pay for something without actually confronting them or avoiding the situation by going some where free.
    yeah ive made him pay for things before by saying things, its just getting annoying that i even have to say anything, cos youd think it was just common sense like taxi stops at destination, driver says the cost, you get your money out and pay. instead he just sits there and i get my money out and he'll say something like ill pay you another time or ill buy you a drink next time to make up for it, but of course this never happens. so yeah i could try joking at the bar next time like "you owe me a few drinks for all those taxis!" and see what he says. he'll be put on the spot and it wont be in a *****y way so he'll have to say either what his excuse is, or he'll be like yeah ill buy you a few, sorry.

    yeah i know i shouldnt change things because of him, but there are other reasons as well, like he gets really drunk to the point where we have to look after him and we cant get into clubs because the bouncers are like no youre too drunk, so it means we all have to go home (when we should really just get him a taxi himself to get rid of him and he'd have to pay himself! haha) and he acts really inappropriate by trying to kiss everyone whether theyre in a relationship or not, which makes us all feel uncomfortable. even though we always say no what are you doing! he still tries it on every single time we go out. we went out without him and it was such a different night out, as bad as it might sound, it was a good time not having to babysit which sobers you up and not having to push someone away cos theyre feeling you up or trying to kiss you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah ive made him pay for things before by saying things, its just getting annoying that i even have to say anything, cos youd think it was just common sense like taxi stops at destination, driver says the cost, you get your money out and pay. instead he just sits there and i get my money out and he'll say something like ill pay you another time or ill buy you a drink next time to make up for it, but of course this never happens. so yeah i could try joking at the bar next time like "you owe me a few drinks for all those taxis!" and see what he says. he'll be put on the spot and it wont be in a *****y way so he'll have to say either what his excuse is, or he'll be like yeah ill buy you a few, sorry.

    yeah i know i shouldnt change things because of him, but there are other reasons as well, like he gets really drunk to the point where we have to look after him and we cant get into clubs because the bouncers are like no youre too drunk, so it means we all have to go home (when we should really just get him a taxi himself to get rid of him and he'd have to pay himself! haha) and he acts really inappropriate by trying to kiss everyone whether theyre in a relationship or not, which makes us all feel uncomfortable. even though we always say no what are you doing! he still tries it on every single time we go out. we went out without him and it was such a different night out, as bad as it might sound, it was a good time not having to babysit which sobers you up and not having to push someone away cos theyre feeling you up or trying to kiss you.
    Ohhh... he's one of those people!!! Yeah,don't go for a night out with him. There's friends who did that to us and we just stopped inviting her out. There had been enough confrontations before hand so it wasn't a shock to her.

    Leave him out and go clubbing, when he gets upset, tell him what you told me.
 
 
 
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