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Met a girl and unsure of how to go forward Watch

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    So, after spending the past year of Sixth Form being hopelessly infatuated with someone who never gave me the time of day (and who ended up having a boyfriend anyway), I decided to call it quits and properly move on from her after being rejected for the final time. This was about three weeks ago, and around the same time I quickly came into contact with another girl, who I'd always been aware of and always considered very attractive but never actually said a word to.

    Over the past couple weeks I've ran into her several times and we always seem to have great conversations and get on rather well. Unfortunately I made the grave mistake of not asking for her number on the last day of school (Wednesday) and so am left for the rest of the summer with little means to contact her. I do have her on Facebook though, if need be.

    Without sounding cocky or overly optimistic, she does seem interested in me, even if only as a friend for now. She's the type to be very shy and awkward in social situations, but always tries her best to put herself out there and be as outgoing as she can be. She is more often than not the one initiating conversation with me, which I see as a very good sign simply because the past two girls I've had crushes on almost never spoke to me first and were often unresponsive.

    When we spoke on Wednesday she was questioning me on what I'm doing in the summer, to which I replied that other than the few things I had planned with friends I'd be "a bit bored". She suggested I hold a small party at my house and specifically asked me to invite her. I'd be up for it but it seems a bit dodgy to invite a bunch of people over just for the sake of getting to talk to her again.

    The other problem is that I'm not sure of the true extent to which I like this girl currently. I can honestly say for the first time in about 3 years that I have a genuine crush. The other two girls that I liked in Sixth Form I was unhealthily obsessed with and that didn't do me much good, but this girl seems like someone I can just kind of like without getting too attached.

    I've been reluctant to tell anyone I like her though, simply because those past experiences have given me a jaded outlook on relationships and I have little confidence in my ability to succeed with girls. I'm afraid that someone might tell me that she secretly has a boyfriend, or that she likes someone else, and then I'll be ashamed for ever thinking I had a chance.

    I'm not too confident as a person, but I have the ability to put on a very good façade, and somehow have acquired the reputation of an "amazing public speaker/debater" as well as "having a lot of friends". So I feel like I could feasibly pursue this girl without being too shy or unassuming, but I still strongly doubt my abilities. If anyone has any advice, it'd be lovely.
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    Hiya,

    She does seem interested, from what you say. Maybe she suggested the party so she'd get the opportunity to talk to you without the pressure of it seeming like a date if you met up alone, so it could be more casual and she'd feel a bit more comfortable and 'safe' (dates can be nerve-wracking).

    If you're the kind of person who would organize a party with a few friends anyway, I think it would be a good thing to do. Plenty of people get together at parties, and go to/host parties with the intention of doing so, so it's not an outrageous thing to do. Even if you don't usually hold parties, why not have one? The holiday is long and it would be fun to socialize a bit.

    At the party, don't fret too much about trying to get together with this girl, and just be a good host and try to ensure everyone has a good time. I'm sure at some point you'll get chatting, and given the situation the conversation will be a bit freer and you'll probably find out how she feels. Just talk naturally and don't stress about being super flirty - smiling, eye contact, showing interest in what she says, finding shared interests and experiences etc are all good. You could drop a couple of hints about your feelings but don't overegg it.

    Good luck! I hope it goes well. Summer romances are fun
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    she's definitely interested awww

    stop being a loser and just ask her to hang out
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by interact)
    she's definitely interested awww

    stop being a loser and just ask her to hang out
    Sure. But then I don't know how accurate my information is. One of my friends said the girl in question was "quite fond of" a new guy who will be moving to our sixth form in September for Year 13, so I'm very reluctant to assume her friendliness towards me is anything more than, well, friendliness.

    I guess I'll give it a shot. But I'm so unconfident in myself that I can never imagine why a girl, especially an attractive one, would choose me over the wealth of other guys at our school and in the world as a whole. I know a couple girls who had crushes on me in the past, but I didn't want to date either of them at the time, so I've never had a girlfriend. I know confidence in one's appearance/personality and ability to attract girls is something that comes with experience though, so for now all I can do is pretend to be confident.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sure. But then I don't know how accurate my information is. One of my friends said the girl in question was "quite fond of" a new guy who will be moving to our sixth form in September for Year 13, so I'm very reluctant to assume her friendliness towards me is anything more than, well, friendliness.

    I guess I'll give it a shot. But I'm so unconfident in myself that I can never imagine why a girl, especially an attractive one, would choose me over the wealth of other guys at our school and in the world as a whole. I know a couple girls who had crushes on me in the past, but I didn't want to date either of them at the time, so I've never had a girlfriend. I know confidence in one's appearance/personality and ability to attract girls is something that comes with experience though, so for now all I can do is pretend to be confident.
    you sound quite clever why are u SO unconfident?? don't understand geeks who have confidence issues, you have the brains and in a few yrs u will have the looks too.

    ur not gonna get anywhere if u don't ever approach girls, because u think they may like someone else

    just ask her out, whats the worst that happens, she says no, boo hoO who cares. lives so short, u can't be wasting time thinking about stuff like this for days on end. either do it, or go to sleep, stop wasting time.


    update me on what happens. thanks.
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    So after a lot of deliberation, I messaged her on Facebook and it just seemed like everything kind of backfired on me.

    I mean she responded, but she just didn't seem interested. She told me that she "hadn't been doing much over the summer/had only been out a couple times", and when I tried to ask her about different things I still only got 3 or 4 word responses out of her. I had to force myself to give up when the last message she sent me was just "cool", since I know from experience there's little point trying any longer once a girl gives you one word responses.

    Feeling pretty **** tbh. I gained some confidence when I asked a female friend of mine for advice, and she reassured me that messaging her over FB would be fine. This girl usually isn't like this at all, all I can think is that I creeped her out by contacting her out of the blue and now she's wary of talking to me?
 
 
 
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