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i can't cope anymore
i've just spent all night typing up what would probably be TSR's longest post ever, but deleted it in favour of a summary.
title says it all.
i've failed my first year of uni, not proud at all. got buggerall friends, put on lots of weight despite doing more excercise than ever before (and yes it is fat). lost all faith in other people and i spent 4 months playing computer games because i was so fed up with life. tried councilling, worked for about 5mins (4 different ones, all similar), tried antidepressants, made me feel emptier than i am now.
i have 2 choices ahead of me at the moment:
* if accepted i can resubmit my work. this means i have to do the whole year in a WEEK!, considering i couldn't do it in a year then this looks like a problem. my parents are pushing me towards this and i'm going to let them down again most likely.
if i do pass then i can start the second year, but with no cash, requiring a part time job, little in terms of friends on my course, struggling to understand the course due to not reading much and a high chance of failing the second year. social life will basically be nil, no societies, nothing due to working, excercise and trying so hard to pass second year.
* resit first year as a part time student. big downer: 1 year wasted, £4k debt already, still require the part time job but will probably enjoy it more due to less pressure, able to re-study first year and pass this time! be more active and actually join some societies, try to develop who i am and gain some confidence, then start second year with a spring in my step ready to go.
i've never been confident, alcohol just makes me tighter and i've had a lot happen in the past which has shot me down at any moment. i want to try and fix this but i feel so useless. personal posessions break in my hands, the more money i spend on them the bigger they break. insurance companies are annoying.
so basically how do i tell my parents that i will always be a failure and that i want to redo my first year as i stand a better chance of passing the second year that way? they main issue is that they are funding me at the moment as they don't agree with student loans.
how can i try to losen up a bit? i don't feel mature enough to be at uni, my 6th form days were awful and i've lost more friends coming to uni than i have made. basically i feel really awful and awkward around other people because of the amount of time i spend alone. i've lost a lot of trust due to past bullying and lose lips.
(yes that is a summary. thanks)
title says it all.
i've failed my first year of uni, not proud at all. got buggerall friends, put on lots of weight despite doing more excercise than ever before (and yes it is fat). lost all faith in other people and i spent 4 months playing computer games because i was so fed up with life. tried councilling, worked for about 5mins (4 different ones, all similar), tried antidepressants, made me feel emptier than i am now.
i have 2 choices ahead of me at the moment:
* if accepted i can resubmit my work. this means i have to do the whole year in a WEEK!, considering i couldn't do it in a year then this looks like a problem. my parents are pushing me towards this and i'm going to let them down again most likely.
if i do pass then i can start the second year, but with no cash, requiring a part time job, little in terms of friends on my course, struggling to understand the course due to not reading much and a high chance of failing the second year. social life will basically be nil, no societies, nothing due to working, excercise and trying so hard to pass second year.
* resit first year as a part time student. big downer: 1 year wasted, £4k debt already, still require the part time job but will probably enjoy it more due to less pressure, able to re-study first year and pass this time! be more active and actually join some societies, try to develop who i am and gain some confidence, then start second year with a spring in my step ready to go.
i've never been confident, alcohol just makes me tighter and i've had a lot happen in the past which has shot me down at any moment. i want to try and fix this but i feel so useless. personal posessions break in my hands, the more money i spend on them the bigger they break. insurance companies are annoying.
so basically how do i tell my parents that i will always be a failure and that i want to redo my first year as i stand a better chance of passing the second year that way? they main issue is that they are funding me at the moment as they don't agree with student loans.
how can i try to losen up a bit? i don't feel mature enough to be at uni, my 6th form days were awful and i've lost more friends coming to uni than i have made. basically i feel really awful and awkward around other people because of the amount of time i spend alone. i've lost a lot of trust due to past bullying and lose lips.
(yes that is a summary. thanks)
Have you tried being positive?
GO and make friends! Make a timetable to fit in reading around your subject and exericising.
Why not join the running club? Socieites aren't the be all and end all.
GET RID OF THE PC GAMES
Smile
And at least give it a go (Doing all your work in a week), at least then you will feel that you have tried. If you put your mind to it you can do a lot in a week.
Sounds like you would rather give up and quit? Don't take the easy option.
It's not that bad...
You would have a student loan (£1000/term) and open a student bank account - another £1300 or so INTEREST FREE overdraft.
GO and make friends! Make a timetable to fit in reading around your subject and exericising.
Why not join the running club? Socieites aren't the be all and end all.
GET RID OF THE PC GAMES
Smile
And at least give it a go (Doing all your work in a week), at least then you will feel that you have tried. If you put your mind to it you can do a lot in a week.
Sounds like you would rather give up and quit? Don't take the easy option.
It's not that bad...
You would have a student loan (£1000/term) and open a student bank account - another £1300 or so INTEREST FREE overdraft.
firstly drop all that self pitty. Many of us know how hard uni is, preasures from home, needing to meet new people and juggling work.
My suggestion would be resit the first year, you know what to expect and you probabily know why you failed the first year by now. My guess would be too much messing around with entertainment stuff like games.
To the money part, student loans are there to take the strain, your parents refusal to allow you to use them is probabily a big source of your problems. Be an adult and do what you think is best, if that means taking a loan against your parents wishes do so, its your life and one less thing to worry about if going to do your mental state any good.
My suggestion would be resit the first year, you know what to expect and you probabily know why you failed the first year by now. My guess would be too much messing around with entertainment stuff like games.
To the money part, student loans are there to take the strain, your parents refusal to allow you to use them is probabily a big source of your problems. Be an adult and do what you think is best, if that means taking a loan against your parents wishes do so, its your life and one less thing to worry about if going to do your mental state any good.
Hon, here's a few things you might've overlooked -
Anti-depressants can change your metabolism, make you gain/lose weight. They sure did for me when I was being treated for anorexia, that's why I came off 'em! The older ones are worse (Zoloft, Prozac, etc) so if you must use them, try the newer types (less side effects - Celexa/Venlafaxine, etc.) Or go herbal - St John's Wort is great for depression, I'm on it now, only real side effect is you must be careful how much you expose yourself to the sun (more than normal) it changes your skin's melanin levels, could increase chances of cancer, etc.
Alcohol - FULL of calories. You can't help gathering a beer gut, no matter how much you exercise, sorry!
You've said it yourself - you can resit these things. Some poor buggers don't actually have the chance to even take them in the first place. Think of people with Motor-Neuron disease, or MS, or terminal cancer. I know it's the same cliche, but its the truth - LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE!! You're still young, so it's so much easier to turn your health/whole life around. You've not got a family to look after, so thats one less obligation. You're in debt, but thats a reasonably small one compared to some others! Keep wasting your cash on drink/PC games and yeah, you can stay in debt. Or you can fund it into exercise hobbies, get fitter, making it more likely that people will want to employ you coz your health won't make you a walking timebomb and thus a liability to employers. See what I'm getting at?
Give it a go, mate. Look at what you already have and expand on them. Good luck, let us know how you do.
Anti-depressants can change your metabolism, make you gain/lose weight. They sure did for me when I was being treated for anorexia, that's why I came off 'em! The older ones are worse (Zoloft, Prozac, etc) so if you must use them, try the newer types (less side effects - Celexa/Venlafaxine, etc.) Or go herbal - St John's Wort is great for depression, I'm on it now, only real side effect is you must be careful how much you expose yourself to the sun (more than normal) it changes your skin's melanin levels, could increase chances of cancer, etc.
Alcohol - FULL of calories. You can't help gathering a beer gut, no matter how much you exercise, sorry!
You've said it yourself - you can resit these things. Some poor buggers don't actually have the chance to even take them in the first place. Think of people with Motor-Neuron disease, or MS, or terminal cancer. I know it's the same cliche, but its the truth - LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE!! You're still young, so it's so much easier to turn your health/whole life around. You've not got a family to look after, so thats one less obligation. You're in debt, but thats a reasonably small one compared to some others! Keep wasting your cash on drink/PC games and yeah, you can stay in debt. Or you can fund it into exercise hobbies, get fitter, making it more likely that people will want to employ you coz your health won't make you a walking timebomb and thus a liability to employers. See what I'm getting at?
Give it a go, mate. Look at what you already have and expand on them. Good luck, let us know how you do.
you could allways do what i did after i pretty much failed at life in general..
you could start from scratch..
after a lifetime of messing my life up, i decided i needed some qualifications ect..
i joined an access course.. its a part time course, so you can either do a part time job, or claim JSA, they teach you some unbelievable skills that are extremely usefull in uni.. and they are things that you dont learn in school..
also, the mixture of people you find on an access course, there will allways be someone that you will be able to relate to.. most are usually in a similar boat as you.
with the extra training, and what you have already learned, going back to uni would be easier.. and i'm sure that if you could re-sub your work, they would give you a chance and support you in doing it. it might be hard work, but hey... so is life..
but dont give up yet..
you could start from scratch..
after a lifetime of messing my life up, i decided i needed some qualifications ect..
i joined an access course.. its a part time course, so you can either do a part time job, or claim JSA, they teach you some unbelievable skills that are extremely usefull in uni.. and they are things that you dont learn in school..
also, the mixture of people you find on an access course, there will allways be someone that you will be able to relate to.. most are usually in a similar boat as you.
with the extra training, and what you have already learned, going back to uni would be easier.. and i'm sure that if you could re-sub your work, they would give you a chance and support you in doing it. it might be hard work, but hey... so is life..
but dont give up yet..
You would have a student loan (£1000/term) and open a student bank account - another £1300 or so INTEREST FREE overdraft.
student loan is far too expensive for what its worth. i was supposed to be doing a 6 year course (architecture) due to it being something i have dreamed off since being much younger. if i had a student loan, after 3 years at 1k/term i would have to pay back an extra £500 in interest alone upon graduating. after 6 years this amount is now 2k! in interest. if i then started a job at 25k, 2k of that would go straight to paying off the loan, and 1/3 of that will cover the interest added on for that year. so if i expect a couple of payrises within that 15years of working, i can expect to pay off the loan in 10 years. that is a lot of interest on what is supposed to be a cheap loan! (at least 50%) a lot of people don't realise that you're being charged interest upon receiving the money. the royal bank of parents seemed the best route to go. overdraft wise, i'm already £800 into my £1k overdraft (1.2k upon request, another form to fill in) of which none was spent on alcohol. last time i had a drink was 2 months ago.
pc games, yup i've cut down to almost a couple of hours a week now but i'm getting huge withdrawl symptoms. feels even worse than when i was on the magic green pills (i can never remember what they're called) what made it worse is one of the games was one that involved a lot of talking to other people, which is why i probably spent so long on it, was a shame that most of them lived in the states. i rarely bought a new pc game, the last one i bought was halflife2 which is about 2 years old now.
my debt has come from living expenses, with accomodation being 3.5k of that last year. my socialising costs averaged £60/mo which is what i know many people drink in a week around here. yes self pity needs go go bigtime, but that is a result of wasting years of life and losing confidence. you've pretty much summed it up Glory, i do know where i went wrong with the course, however i need to find a way to stablise myself to help me make friends.
what i need to look at is what time i can allocate to things. i can sort myself out, but how do i convince my parents this?
thanks Wolla for showing me that i don't have to join the armed forces if i completely mess up, however leaving uni is not an option at the moment. i was forutnate to join just before these stupid top up fees, and to get in with 160 ucas points when i needed 220. if i completely dropped out now i wouldn't be able to get back in.
student loan is far too expensive for what its worth. i was supposed to be doing a 6 year course (architecture) due to it being something i have dreamed off since being much younger. if i had a student loan, after 3 years at 1k/term i would have to pay back an extra £500 in interest alone upon graduating. after 6 years this amount is now 2k! in interest. if i then started a job at 25k, 2k of that would go straight to paying off the loan, and 1/3 of that will cover the interest added on for that year. so if i expect a couple of payrises within that 15years of working, i can expect to pay off the loan in 10 years. that is a lot of interest on what is supposed to be a cheap loan! (at least 50%) a lot of people don't realise that you're being charged interest upon receiving the money. the royal bank of parents seemed the best route to go. overdraft wise, i'm already £800 into my £1k overdraft (1.2k upon request, another form to fill in) of which none was spent on alcohol. last time i had a drink was 2 months ago.
pc games, yup i've cut down to almost a couple of hours a week now but i'm getting huge withdrawl symptoms. feels even worse than when i was on the magic green pills (i can never remember what they're called) what made it worse is one of the games was one that involved a lot of talking to other people, which is why i probably spent so long on it, was a shame that most of them lived in the states. i rarely bought a new pc game, the last one i bought was halflife2 which is about 2 years old now.
my debt has come from living expenses, with accomodation being 3.5k of that last year. my socialising costs averaged £60/mo which is what i know many people drink in a week around here. yes self pity needs go go bigtime, but that is a result of wasting years of life and losing confidence. you've pretty much summed it up Glory, i do know where i went wrong with the course, however i need to find a way to stablise myself to help me make friends.
what i need to look at is what time i can allocate to things. i can sort myself out, but how do i convince my parents this?
thanks Wolla for showing me that i don't have to join the armed forces if i completely mess up, however leaving uni is not an option at the moment. i was forutnate to join just before these stupid top up fees, and to get in with 160 ucas points when i needed 220. if i completely dropped out now i wouldn't be able to get back in.
(at least 50%) a lot of people don't realise that you're being charged interest upon receiving the money. the royal bank of parents seemed the best route to go. overdraft wise, i'm already £800 into my £1k overdraft (1.2k upon request, another form to fill in) of which none was spent on alcohol. last time i had a drink was 2 months ago.
You're getting charged interest at the rate of inflation, which at this moment is rising more slowly than wages. It's a free loan.
I think feeling the way you do is pretty common for a lot of students. Like you, antidepressants did not help me and I came off them. However, counselling did help. Get in touch with student services for details of your university counsellors. This'll probably help you make a descion about next year as well. Have a look at http://studentdepression.org/
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