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    A little bit about me for context: I have depression, and deeply rooted trust issues stemming back to primary school, so I find it so hard to open up. This year, I decided that I would make an effort with people a little more, as opposed to pushing them away and making them hate me.
    I somehow became closer friends with 3 people whom I got on with to varying degrees, let's call them A, B and C.
    All three of them have mental illnesses of some sort, but they themselves are good friends.
    Of the three, I am closest to A.
    Whenever one of them is down or anything seems to be up, I always try to make sure I'm there offering support without having them ask.
    Because of my own problems, I feel like if I ask to talk to anyone, I'm burdening them, so I tend to bottle things up.
    Anyway, as the year went on, it became clearer to me that all three of these relationships were unequal in that I felt like I was making most of the effort.
    Also, time and time again, I've felt like they all consider me what I call an "Out of sight, out of mind" friend, in that, even if they know I'm not okay, if I'm not there, they won't text or make any contact with me (Person B did once), or even if I'm in the same room as them, they hardly notice me.
    I'm afraid I sound like a needy brat here, but I honestly thought that if I tried to open up and talk, it would make things better, but now, I feel like there's something wrong with me, because I can't even maintain a simple friendship.
    To add to all this, I literally have no one else to talk to, not even my own mum, who, upon finding out that I had been diagnosed, asked me what I had to be depressed about; the irony is that when I was younger, she had depression too.
    Because of all this, I'm considering ending the friendships, but I feel guilty as they all have their own problems.
    Am I in the wrong for wanting to do this?
    P.S sorry for the long post.
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    Anyone?
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    Dont end the friendship just make more friends
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    (Original post by aka r)
    Dont end the friendship just make more friends
    I have other friends, but for a while now, "friend" has been a really loose term. Some people I've hung around with since year 7 have no clue as to what's wrong with me, and I wouldn't trust them at all, but they're good for a laugh (while this seems really callous, they haven't exactly instilled me with faith in them).
    I just want friends who actually care, and I'm trying to understand whether it's possible for me to have friends like that, or whether I should just cut my losses and wait for a fresh start at uni...
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    What year are you in?
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    It's a good idea to try and open up a bit more, but if you've been in the same school for so many years it's always going to be hard for you to immediately break into friendship groups. If you need to talk to them then ask to talk to them; if you bottle things up you can't blame them for not helping you since they're not able to.

    Don't cut your losses, you've got nothing to lose, but if you use the same attitude of opening up more at Uni where you have a fresh start it'll work out better for you.
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    good friends like that exist but can be rare sometimes. if you really feel like you want to talk about this in more detail you can call Childline. You can go on their 1-2-1 chat or email them. im only saying this bcos they really helped me when i had no one to talk to.

    In response to your post. if you feel there is no friendship there, like being there is just making you feel worse then cut your losses and move on- but thats my opinion.
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    I dont think you're being needy. They seem like they don't value you/care that much or that could just be their personality and they don't realise they are doing it. Do they act like this towards eachother or just you? If its just you, then i'd say cut your losses (keep it friendly but don't actively pursue a friendship with them) & find better friends (which you definitely will).

    One thing though, you shouldn't feel like you're a burden to people and bottle things up/ never reach out to your friends. You have every right to do so. Thats what friends are for. Friends will probably notice or wonder why you never talk to them about anything. Don't be so guarded and don't be too open, a healthy medium is best
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    (Original post by SophiaLDN)
    I dont think you're being needy. They seem like they don't value you/care that much or that could just be their personality and they don't realise they are doing it. Do they act like this towards eachother or just you? If its just you, then i'd say cut your losses (keep it friendly but don't actively pursue a friendship with them) & find better friends (which you definitely will).

    One thing though, you shouldn't feel like you're a burden to people and bottle things up/ never reach out to your friends. You have every right to do so. Thats what friends are for. Friends will probably notice or wonder why you never talk to them about anything. Don't be so guarded and don't be too open, a healthy medium is best
    It's not that I've never talked to them. Honestly, they know me better than anyone else. I can see the personality thing for one of them, at least, but not the other two.
    The three of them have each helped me in some way this year, even if not to the extent I'd hoped for. But is it enough to cut ties because it wasn't what I wanted? I don't think I should, but I suppose I should keep it light.
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    Don't feel like you are a burden to your friends, sometimes it feels good to get things off your chest and out into the open if you really trust your friends. Pm me if you want a chat anytime!
 
 
 
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