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Does married life entail commitments ? Discuss Watch

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    Im asking because a few of my friends have got married, and one is more at home with his wife than going out now, he only comes out on Saturday with and maybe on other day but it rarely happens, Saturdays is when him and his wife go out with their friends not every Saturday though, but the rest of the time they're together.

    When he does come out, say Tuesday he has to be home at a certain time. I was just thinking once someone is married do you have commitments like you have to come home on time and be civilized ie, no more late night mess abouts, because thats what I have seen happen with quite a few people.

    I understand if you didnt co-habit before but still is this what is meant by the term "settling down" and "married man" ?
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    of course you have commitments. once you get married, you become trapped. you have someone constantly nagging and *****ing on you 24/7. you can't do what you want when you want. basically your home life becomes miserable, you dread coming home to your spouse every day. you have a curfew, you have to spend lots of money on your spouse, etc. No matter what you do, you'll never be able to please your spouse, she'll always be moaning about stuff. she'll always find something to moan about. so basically, you have to live with someone who's going to be moody and complaining every day. it's miserable.
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    That really depends on the couple. I wouldn't call it commitment, more of compromise if they agreed to stay home more. And yes that's what I call settling down, it's more of 'calm' life.

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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    of course you have commitments. once you get married, you become trapped. you have someone constantly nagging and *****ing on you 24/7. you can't do what you want when you want. basically your home life becomes miserable, you dread coming home to your spouse every day. you have a curfew, you have to spend lots of money on your spouse, etc. No matter what you do, you'll never be able to please your spouse, she'll always be moaning about stuff. she'll always find something to moan about. so basically, you have to live with someone who's going to be moody and complaining every day. it's miserable.
    Are you married? Cos if you do, that's not really a very good life.

    I wouldn't deny that some marriages are like that but not all. My marriage certainly isn't like that.

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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    of course you have commitments. once you get married, you become trapped. you have someone constantly nagging and *****ing on you 24/7. you can't do what you want when you want. basically your home life becomes miserable, you dread coming home to your spouse every day. you have a curfew, you have to spend lots of money on your spouse, etc. No matter what you do, you'll never be able to please your spouse, she'll always be moaning about stuff. she'll always find something to moan about. so basically, you have to live with someone who's going to be moody and complaining every day. it's miserable.
    Wow I take it you never want to get married! Haha


    Considering every marriage is different, this is only my opinion.
    For me, marriage is a change of lifestyle. It's no longer thinking of yourself as a single person, but as part of a partnership. Everything you do, you have to take into account your partner - not because you feek obligated to but because you want to. If that means sacrificing your friends, then so be it. But not every marriage is like that. Personally, me and my husband were committed to each other long before we got married and although we do have friends, we both enjoy it much more when we are out together as opposed to individually. Yes it's a big commitment, but people are usually aware of that before they get married.

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    (Original post by donutaud15)
    Are you married? Cos if you do, that's not really a very good life.

    I wouldn't deny that some marriages are like that but not all. My marriage certainly isn't like that.

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    No, I'm not married. But films paint a very misleading picture of marriage and 'love'. In real life, marriage makes people miserable very quickly. the honey moon period is very brief. I've seen what marriage does to people first hand, even though I've never been married myself, I've been around married couples long enough to see how miserable their lives are. When you live with someone 24/7, it doesn't take long for major problems to develop and surface, the relationship soon becomes tense and the two people actually start to hate the sight of one another after a short while. There's no such thing as a happy marriage. The trick is to make it as least miserable as you can, for however long as possible.
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    (Original post by CM19)
    Wow I take it you never want to get married! Haha


    Considering every marriage is different, this is only my opinion.
    For me, marriage is a change of lifestyle. It's no longer thinking of yourself as a single person, but as part of a partnership. Everything you do, you have to take into account your partner - not because you feek obligated to but because you want to. If that means sacrificing your friends, then so be it. But not every marriage is like that. Personally, me and my husband were committed to each other long before we got married and although we do have friends, we both enjoy it much more when we are out together as opposed to individually. Yes it's a big commitment, but people are usually aware of that before they get married.



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    How much did getting married change anything? I personally find it weird that getting the state to magically make you "married" should change anything. Surely you are already living that married like life style before you get married to someone? Why would you marry someone if you didn't want to spend vast amounts of your life with them?
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    No, I'm not married. But films paint a very misleading picture of marriage and 'love'. In real life, marriage makes people miserable very quickly. the honey moon period is very brief. I've seen what marriage does to people first hand, even though I've never been married myself, I've been around married couples long enough to see how miserable their lives are. When you live with someone 24/7, it doesn't take long for major problems to develop and surface, the relationship soon becomes tense and the two people actually start to hate the sight of one another after a short while. There's no such thing as a happy marriage. The trick is to make it as least miserable as you can, for however long as possible.
    You're wrong. Happy marriage exists, I've seen it and I'm living it for one. What I could tell you is no marriage is the same. It takes work so the couple gets through the problems.

    Also my in laws must have had a very long honeymoon since they've been married 25 years and they are very happy and content together.



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    (Original post by CM19)
    Wow I take it you never want to get married! Haha


    Considering every marriage is different, this is only my opinion.
    For me, marriage is a change of lifestyle. It's no longer thinking of yourself as a single person, but as part of a partnership. Everything you do, you have to take into account your partner - not because you feek obligated to but because you want to. If that means sacrificing your friends, then so be it. But not every marriage is like that. Personally, me and my husband were committed to each other long before we got married and although we do have friends, we both enjoy it much more when we are out together as opposed to individually. Yes it's a big commitment, but people are usually aware of that before they get married.

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    I'm dreading it, I'm going to absolutely hate it and not looking forward to it at all, but when the time comes, I will have to get married, there's no other option. Having lived with different people at different points in time, every single time it didn't take me long to start feeling miserable and hating the sight of the woman. Every day...it's a constant reminder of your misery. When I'm living with a woman, I literally find myself trying to stay out for as long as possible and delaying coming home as long as I can, I dread that part where you walk through the door and are faced with having to confront the woman. It's like an interrogation..."where have you been?" "why are you late?" "what did you do when you were out?" the questions never seem to end. I didn't know it was possible to despise the sight of one person so much.

    The part I highlighted in bold - that's what I have a huge problem with. I've never been a considerate person, in fact I'm quite selfish. I hate having to consider other people's feelings and reactions when it comes to day to day life.

    Even if people feel like they have a happy marriage, I'm sure they won't be saying the same thing 10 years down the line. In all my life, I've never seen a happy couple who have been married for 10 or more years, it really takes its toll on you, mentally. Having to live with, see and talk to the same person, day after day, for so many years...I can't imagine tolerating living like that.
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    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    How much did getting married change anything? I personally find it weird that getting the state to magically make you "married" should change anything. Surely you are already living that married like life style before you get married to someone? Why would you marry someone if you didn't want to spend vast amounts of your life with them?
    To be honest it didn't change much for me, we were already planning our lives/saving up together/mixing with each others family. It's just my family is old school so we couldn't be a proper 'couple' until we got married.

    No I agree the act of marriage don't automatically make you ready for this kind of commitment, really it should be there before hand otherwise what's the. point? Instead it's like a declaration, a couple declaring their love and commitment to one another in front of their friends and family. After all, it's just a piece of paper!

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    (Original post by CM19)
    To be honest it didn't change much for me, we were already planning our lives/saving up together/mixing with each others family. It's just my family is old school so we couldn't be a proper 'couple' until we got married.

    No I agree the act of marriage don't automatically make you ready for this kind of commitment, really it should be there before hand otherwise what's the. point? Instead it's like a declaration, a couple declaring their love and commitment to one another in front of their friends and family. After all, it's just a piece of paper!

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    That's how I see it.
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    I'm dreading it, I'm going to absolutely hate it and not looking forward to it at all, but when the time comes, I will have to get married, there's no other option. Having lived with different people at different points in time, every single time it didn't take me long to start feeling miserable and hating the sight of the woman. Every day...it's a constant reminder of your misery. When I'm living with a woman, I literally find myself trying to stay out for as long as possible and delaying coming home as long as I can, I dread that part where you walk through the door and are faced with having to confront the woman. It's like an interrogation..."where have you been?" "why are you late?" "what did you do when you were out?" the questions never seem to end. I didn't know it was possible to despise the sight of one person so much.

    The part I highlighted in bold - that's what I have a huge problem with. I've never been a considerate person, in fact I'm quite selfish. I hate having to consider other people's feelings and reactions when it comes to day to day life.

    Even if people feel like they have a happy marriage, I'm sure they won't be saying the same thing 10 years down the line. In all my life, I've never seen a happy couple who have been married for 10 or more years, it really takes its toll on you, mentally. Having to live with, see and talk to the same person, day after day, for so many years...I can't imagine tolerating living like that.
    To be honest it just sounds like you don't really want to get married, but you feel as though you have to? and I honestly believe you will feel different once you meet the right person. Your partner could be someone who also likes their independence? It definitely happens in some marriages. If you don't want to get married then why would you?

    and I know plenty of happily married couples who have been married for 30+ years. Yes they have their disagreements, but don't we all?

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    (Original post by IMBCFC)
    Im asking because a few of my friends have got married, and one is more at home with his wife than going out now, he only comes out on Saturday with and maybe on other day but it rarely happens, Saturdays is when him and his wife go out with their friends not every Saturday though, but the rest of the time they're together.

    When he does come out, say Tuesday he has to be home at a certain time. I was just thinking once someone is married do you have commitments like you have to come home on time and be civilized ie, no more late night mess abouts, because thats what I have seen happen with quite a few people.

    I understand if you didnt co-habit before but still is this what is meant by the term "settling down" and "married man" ?
    It's not just about being married. It's about growing up and having more responsibilities. Most of my colleagues now won't stay out late on a worknight because working in our job the following day with a hangover/minimal sleep is just hellish. If people have a significant other, married or not, who they live with, it's just considerate to think of their feelings and concerns and let them know if you're going to be out late, or not stay out if they need you home for some reason.

    I love being married and I'm pretty sure my husband is happy with it too!
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    (Original post by Helenia)
    It's not just about being married. It's about growing up and having more responsibilities. Most of my colleagues now won't stay out late on a worknight because working in our job the following day with a hangover/minimal sleep is just hellish. If people have a significant other, married or not, who they live with, it's just considerate to think of their feelings and concerns and let them know if you're going to be out late, or not stay out if they need you home for some reason.

    I love being married and I'm pretty sure my husband is happy with it too!
    Yeah I understand, whoa ! Seems like a big step but I should be ok. Im at uni you see and you know what student life is like staying out late ect, I mean some get drunk even if they have lectures, but in the world of work its different more responsibilities.

    So there is some degree of commitments.
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    of course you have commitments. once you get married, you become trapped. you have someone constantly nagging and *****ing on you 24/7. you can't do what you want when you want. basically your home life becomes miserable, you dread coming home to your spouse every day. you have a curfew, you have to spend lots of money on your spouse, etc. No matter what you do, you'll never be able to please your spouse, she'll always be moaning about stuff. she'll always find something to moan about. so basically, you have to live with someone who's going to be moody and complaining every day. it's miserable.
    But thats the fun part so long as you have some underlying connection ie love its fine.
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    (Original post by IMBCFC)
    But thats the fun part so long as you have some underlying connection ie love its fine.
    There are much stronger forces than love. It doesn't take long for hatred to win over love.
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    Of course it doesn't, it just means that the man has a 24/7 supply of pussy and sandwiches whilst the wife gets to feel subservient. It's basically a win-win situation.
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    (Original post by Harvey Dent)
    Of course it doesn't, it just means that the man has a 24/7 supply of pussy and sandwiches whilst the wife gets to feel subservient. It's basically a win-win situation.
    :facepalm:



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    Never getting married crew checking in, lol just lol @ any man who gets married in 2014, there is nothing in it for you


    marriage benefits women way more than it does men, I have no idea why any male in todays world would want to get married, aside from the fact that 4 in 10 marriages end in the divorce and the potential life altering financial damage done after divorce, it seems to me that the following issues also apply:


    Women: Marriage means security, love, financial stability, status, family and having someone around to pay bills and make decisions i.e. less responsibility.


    Now contrast this to how marriage looks for men:


    Men: Loss of freedom, loss of choice, stress, less sleep, much less sex, increased responsibility at home and pressure at work, involving woman in decisions and a biased legal system.


    females benefit more from marriage and gain more from it. I fail to see the merit in getting married. Men's value increases with age and women's decreases. Would it not make more sense for men to prolong not getting married or avoid it all together?
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    (Original post by Greg Jackson)
    Never getting married crew checking in, lol just lol @ any man who gets married in 2014, there is nothing in it for you

    marriage benefits women way more than it does men, I have no idea why any male in todays world would want to get married, aside from the fact that 4 in 10 marriages end in the divorce and the potential life altering financial damage done after divorce, it seems to me that the following issues also apply:

    Women: Marriage means security, love, financial stability, status, family and having someone around to pay bills and make decisions i.e. less responsibility.

    Now contrast this to how marriage looks for men:

    Men: Loss of freedom, loss of choice, stress, less sleep, increased responsibility at home and pressure at work, involving woman in decisions and a biased legal system.

    females benefit more from marriage and gain more from it. I fail to see the merit in getting married. Men's value increases with age and women's decreases. Would it not make more sense for men to prolong not getting married or avoid it all together?


    'having someone around to pay bills and make decisions i.e. less responsibility.'

    LOL another person who knows **** all about marriage.



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