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    First, a bit of background about myself. I've struggled with social anxiety since my mid teens (I'm now 24) and as a result, I've pretty much spent the last 10 years or so as a social outcast. I dropped out of my first uni largely due to this but am now at a good uni studying a much better course and have started taking medication to combat my anxiety. I'm still far from 'cured' but I do feel significantly better than I did a few years ago. For that reason, I'm eager to try to turn my life around and make some friends.

    I'll be starting my second year in September and am thinking about joining some societies (I'm living at home so last year I pretty much just came in for lectures and then went home). However, despite my new found determination to actually be proactive for a change, the thought of going to any sort of society event absolutely terrifies me. I think mainly because I have an image in my head of just being thrown into a room with a load of people and expected to socialise. The fact that during first year, friendship groups seemed to appear out of nowhere while I was left alone doesn't exactly fill me with confidence either. Ultimately, I'm just scared that things will go the same as they usually do and I'll have missed my chance.

    I know the only way to find out is to go for it but I was hoping other people might be able to tell me more about how societies tend to work. If anyone has similar experiences to talk about, that would be helpful as well.

    Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading.
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    Social anxiety is a fear, and the only way to overcome a fear is to face it unfortunately. If I might suggest, go to societies which are likely to house socially anxious people as well. For example, a football club/society is always going to be quite laddish and a bit awkward if you're socially anxious, whereas minecraft society may have social anxiety as practically the norm (no offence to minecrafters). Sign up to way more societies than you think you're going to actually go to, because then you can just try out the first session of all of them and see what you like best. I'm socially anxious too - I was slaughtered at gymnastics society when I went there, so I didn't go back a second time, but that led me into cricket, which I really do like. Just try things out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First, a bit of background about myself. I've struggled with social anxiety since my mid teens (I'm now 24) and as a result, I've pretty much spent the last 10 years or so as a social outcast. I dropped out of my first uni largely due to this but am now at a good uni studying a much better course and have started taking medication to combat my anxiety. I'm still far from 'cured' but I do feel significantly better than I did a few years ago. For that reason, I'm eager to try to turn my life around and make some friends.

    I'll be starting my second year in September and am thinking about joining some societies (I'm living at home so last year I pretty much just came in for lectures and then went home). However, despite my new found determination to actually be proactive for a change, the thought of going to any sort of society event absolutely terrifies me. I think mainly because I have an image in my head of just being thrown into a room with a load of people and expected to socialise. The fact that during first year, friendship groups seemed to appear out of nowhere while I was left alone doesn't exactly fill me with confidence either. Ultimately, I'm just scared that things will go the same as they usually do and I'll have missed my chance.

    I know the only way to find out is to go for it but I was hoping other people might be able to tell me more about how societies tend to work. If anyone has similar experiences to talk about, that would be helpful as well.

    Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading.
    remember the idea of societies is that you socialise through doing an activity, I've struggled with social anxiety too and having an activity does make it easier as you arent under so much pressure to talk to people but can still interact, you also have more prompts when you do speak to someone
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    I agree that if you're going to make any change, you're going to have to face a painful experience of rehabilitation through making the consciences effort to socialise.
    What are the meds like? Don't they work?
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    (Original post by Acidy)
    What are the meds like? Don't they work?
    Nope, they haven't worked at all. I'm in the process of coming off them now though, in order to try something else.
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    If you go to a sports club, for example, you spend 90% of the time doing that sport. You don't really have to "try" and interact, you just will naturally as part of the sport.

    If there is a social section afterwards, eg in the uni bar, then just get a drink, sit down, and make basic small talk with the people sitting next to you. I am sure you are able to do this. After a few drinks the conversation will start to flow.
 
 
 
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