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Lack of funds is holding back my dating life. Any tips on how to get around it? Watch

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    I'm a 20 something male living in London. Currently on a grad scheme at a decent company with very good career prospects, but for the time being my income isn't that amazing (though it will go up significantly over the next few years).
    What it means is that for the time being my disposable income isn't that great.

    Why is this important? Because in an indirect way, money does buy love.
    In London everything is so expensive and women expect you to pay.

    Take for example a typical first date: a few drinks at a bar. Glass of wine/gin&tonic or something similar for two will set you back 12-15 pounds at least. And you won't get by with just one drink during the evening, there's got to be at least 2 rounds, if not three.
    Costs increase even more if you want to take her to a meal (and the takeaway around the corner doesn't count).

    I'm not even going to get into the prices of musicals/theater.

    Well in this day and age surely a woman would offer to pay? Nope, don't bet on that. A few do, but they're few and far in between. Even if she's got a job, she'll still more often that not expect the guy to pay.
    I even had an ex tell me once that if I had accepted her offer to pay for half on the first date, she'd never have agreed to a 2nd date.

    All this dating does add up to a considerable amount of money and if your disposable income isn't up to par, then you will have to cut down on the number of dates you go on, hence decreasing the chances of getting a gf and/or sex.

    Ultimately my income should reach more dateable levels but that takes time.

    What I'm wondering is: in the context of women expecting men to pay and the cost of living in London, what are your tips for cutting down on dating costs?
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    tinder, pump and dumb yo
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What I'm wondering is: in the context of women expecting men to pay and the cost of living in London, what are your tips for cutting down on dating costs?
    Book ahead of time with Top Table, Open Table for meals. Can have something ok at fixed price.

    Surreptitiously order Cava instead of Prosecco.

    Steer away from the Chateaubriand, maybe two bavettes instead.

    Apart from that, I can't help. What did you want me to say? Take her to Cafe Rouge for God's sake?
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    It's summer, make the most of it. Cinemas out in the open, regent's and Hyde Park with the boats you can rent (add a flake 99 n that's half a date for less than 20 quid), pic nic in the park with nibbles and 2 bottles of prosecco for under 30 quid... Even a salsa class at a bar is only a fiver each, add drinks and that will be a laugh. List goes on... Just need to think out of the box

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    If you have to spend lavishly on someone to impress them, they're not worth it.
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    Stop paying for women. It's a good way of filtering out the gold diggers. Yes you will get fewer dates but the sort of women who expect you to pay aren't worth dating.
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    Filter out the princesses and ones with expensive taste by keeping things simple. Picnics/walks/ice cream in the park. Why does a date have to be fancy?
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    1) date a rich cougar
    2) borrow money and squander it
    3) find a wholesome non materialistic girl
    4) save a bit and be creative in your options
    5) bide your time until you are a captain of industry
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    (Original post by iamu)
    tinder, pump and dumb yo
    I am using Tinder. Its not quite the hookup app I was expecting it to be. Still leads to normal dates with no hookups in the end (or I'm just an incompetent fool).

    (Original post by Clip)
    Book ahead of time with Top Table, Open Table for meals. Can have something ok at fixed price.

    Surreptitiously order Cava instead of Prosecco.

    Steer away from the Chateaubriand, maybe two bavettes instead.

    Apart from that, I can't help. What did you want me to say? Take her to Cafe Rouge for God's sake?
    I don't know what half those things mean so I'm sorry but your advice has fallen on deaf ears.
    (Original post by PrincePauper)
    It's summer, make the most of it. Cinemas out in the open, regent's and Hyde Park with the boats you can rent (add a flake 99 n that's half a date for less than 20 quid), pic nic in the park with nibbles and 2 bottles of prosecco for under 30 quid... Even a salsa class at a bar is only a fiver each, add drinks and that will be a laugh. List goes on... Just need to think out of the box

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    Open air cinema, thats actually a very good idea. Though normally I'd steer clear of a cinema for a first date (due to lack of ability to talk), an open air one might be a bit different.

    (Original post by thatrollingstone)
    If you have to spend lavishly on someone to impress them, they're not worth it.
    Taking a girl out to some drinks is hardly lavish. And what if they are worth it?

    (Original post by ilem)
    Stop paying for women. It's a good way of filtering out the gold diggers. Yes you will get fewer dates but the sort of women who expect you to pay aren't worth dating.
    (Original post by Carpe Vinum)
    Filter out the princesses and ones with expensive taste by keeping things simple. Picnics/walks/ice cream in the park. Why does a date have to be fancy?
    Well how would I know beforehand who is a princess/gold digger if I haven't gone on a date with them? Once I'm on the date, saying that "I'm not paying for this" is going to be a massive mood killer.
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    Get a part time job?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Taking a girl out to some drinks is hardly lavish. And what if they are worth it?
    Then you're clearly doing it wrong. Anyone with a mediocre salary would be able to afford that. If you feel the need to impress her by buying her particularly expensive drinks then you're putting her on a pedestal.

    Basic solution is to choose dates that align with your current affordability. Spending a lot of money on first dates which you can't sustain is pointless for the long term.

    You've got the whole concept of dating wrong as well. Unless you're trying to lay some super hot high maintenance chick, it shouldn't take so much effort to date someone you connect with. Dating is ultimately about the people not the activity.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    Well how would I know beforehand who is a princess/gold digger if I haven't gone on a date with them? Once I'm on the date, saying that "I'm not paying for this" is going to be a massive mood killer.
    You don't have to say anything. Confidently put down your share of the bill and wait until she picks up her share since paying for yourself is something every adult should accept as their own unequivocal responsibility. If she starts fidgeting, pretends to have forgotten her wallet or otherwise attempts to make you cover the entire bill, you'll know she's an entitled princess.

    You could also go to a few different bars and just say 'I'll get this one, you pick up the next one' or something like that so that the financial burden is shared.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    Open air cinema, thats actually a very good idea. Though normally I'd steer clear of a cinema for a first date (due to lack of ability to talk), an open air one might be a bit different.
    http://www.everymancinema.com/venues/thepowerofsummer/

    Enjoy. Remember that most of the users here are <16, so their idea of a date will be very different to that of someone working in the city, loaded or not.
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    Picnic in a park

    Cook for her at your house

    Go lunching (cheaper than dinner)

    If you get on well and the chemistry' there, whatever you end up doing should be secondary.


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    (Original post by ilem)
    You don't have to say anything. Confidently put down your share of the bill and wait until she picks up her share since paying for yourself is something every adult should accept as their own unequivocal responsibility. If she starts fidgeting, pretends to have forgotten her wallet or otherwise attempts to make you cover the entire bill, you'll know she's an entitled princess.

    You could also go to a few different bars and just say 'I'll get this one, you pick up the next one' or something like that so that the financial burden is shared.
    This is a method that is pretty likely to never get a second date in London.


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    (Original post by LightBlueSoldier)
    This is a method that is pretty likely to never get a second date in London.


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    Sounds like the quality of women in London is somewhat lacking then
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    (Original post by ilem)
    Sounds like the quality of women in London is somewhat lacking then
    That's just the way things are. A lot of the girls here come from social backgrounds where these things are the default.


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    There's a lot of deals, happy hours, 2 4 1 etc etc.

    Also I would recommend getting "taster card" . It's a card that allows you to go to a number of restaurants and pay 2-4-1 meal. If you don't want her to know, just say you're going to the bar or toilet or something, and settle the bill. Then if she asks, just say you already took care of it, and she will like it.

    You can also do a lot of things which are free, eg going to covent garden and seeing a street show, take walks etc etc. Dates are kinda pricey for guys, I agree - which is why you should really talk to a girl enough to make sure you actually want to take her out on a date.
 
 
 
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