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Why did your parents divorce? And what did their divorce teach you about.... Watch

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    Relationships?

    As as per title of the thread.
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    My Dad had an affair for 2-3 years, simple as that. Seeing the damage caused by doing all this behind closed doors and keeping up the lies has taught me to take a very honest approach to my own relationships. If you're not happy and you don't think the relationship can be fixed then do the honourable thing and end it.
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    Dad cheated on my mum. He divorced her and married another woman who he now hates. I didn't learn anything from their divorce.
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    My Dad decided to cheat on my mum for about 3 years.
    What did it teach me?

    Quite a lot. I have a tonne of respect for women and will never EVER overstep my mark or pressure or do anything to a woman that would make them feel uncomfortable. Helping my mum get through it was the hardest thing in my life to date and it's made me really understand just how difficult relationships are. She sacrificed everything. A job in Australia, her A levels, a degree, her friends, her life, all for this guy, she was with him from the age of 13.

    Devastated doesn't cut it and to this day I will never, ever let myself do that. I will never cheat on any girlfriend I am with, ever, no matter how tough it gets, I had an opportunity once years ago and I did the right thing then and I'd do the right thing if I was with someone today. I never want to cause that pain to anyone.

    It taught me to be as open and honest as I can be, I don't really lie anymore (to anyone), I would rather give the hard truth than get caught out lieing, even if it means getting in the **** today. It's better to be honest I feel.

    I think negatively it's taught me that relationships rarely work, even childhood sweethearts couldn't make it work, so I do think I criticise and worry about stuff in relationships trying to seek "perfection", when ultimately there is no such thing. Relationships are a lot of work, hard work. With giving and taking, lots of compromises and lots of tough times.

    It's also probably negatively impacted me as I am constantly worried that I am settling down to early and what happens if she leaves me, how will I find someone else, so mostly impacted me physcologically.

    But yeah. Divorce sucks. Relationships are ****ing tough. Marriage must be even harder.
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    my mum was a *****..... taught me that women can be *****es.
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    My parents divorced each other when I was about 8 years old - as far as I know, they just didn't get along anymore/fell out of love with each other. I don't know the specifics nor do I really want to know any way.

    It taught me to be a lot more 'independent' and responsible and it 'matured' me a lot faster. I can't really say it had no effect on me cause of course it affects you as a kid. I kept a lot of things inside when I was younger and not always for the better.

    I am all fine and dandy now though!!! =D
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    First guy cheated, no idea what happened to the second one. Never even saw his face. Ended up with a single mother with 4 kids.

    Taught me that relationships aren't the be all and end all, it's better to be single than unhappy and in constant argument with each other.
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    My parents simply didn't get on. Not cheating or any of this, they just argued all the bloody time.

    What have I learnt? Don't get married until Prenuptial agreements are allowed to be used in British Courts of law. The sheer amount of money my father lost in the divorce is inconceivable. Not only is payouts but also in court and legal fees. My mother did not even deserve this money. Not only this but the divorce proceedings took almost 10 years to completely finalize.
    Never let your children go through the pain of Cafcass. It is horrific.

    To this day I struggle with any kind of relationship beyond friendship. I even struggle with family relationships.

    The moral of the story is, don't trust anyone beyond friendship, at some point they will **** you over and break your heart.

    I may die alone, but at least I will be happy.
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    Why?
    Because it was an extremely weird relationship. The marriage was very brief. The woman was very quickly exposed as having hidden motives, the relationship was based on deception and each person selfishly hoping to gain a favour from the other. It was doomed from the very beginning. A really odd/weird relationship.


    What did it teach me about relationships?
    It taught me that marriage is always bad and bitter. It's a really miserable experience. There's zero chance that you'll end up with a decent, honest spouse. Your spouse is always foing to deceive you with hidden motives in order to selfishly try to gain favours (money, house, career advancement, connections, protection, etc). It taught me NEVER EVER to trust someone, even if you marry them...always sleep with one eye open and study their every move. Given the chance, they will destroy you.
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    Lack of cummincation

    Lesson: communicate and say exactly how you feel
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    Wow you're a very bitter one aren't you?

    (Original post by Stinkum)
    Why?
    Because it was an extremely weird relationship. The marriage was very brief. The woman was very quickly exposed as having hidden motives, the relationship was based on deception and each person selfishly hoping to gain a favour from the other. It was doomed from the very beginning. A really odd/weird relationship.


    What did it teach me about relationships?
    It taught me that marriage is always bad and bitter. It's a really miserable experience. There's zero chance that you'll end up with a decent, honest spouse. Your spouse is always foing to deceive you with hidden motives in order to selfishly try to gain favours (money, house, career advancement, connections, protection, etc). It taught me NEVER EVER to trust someone, even if you marry them...always sleep with one eye open and study their every move. Given the chance, they will destroy you.
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    (Original post by DiddyDec)
    My parents simply didn't get on. Not cheating or any of this, they just argued all the bloody time.

    What have I learnt? Don't get married until Prenuptial agreements are allowed to be used in British Courts of law. The sheer amount of money my father lost in the divorce is inconceivable. Not only is payouts but also in court and legal fees. My mother did not even deserve this money. Not only this but the divorce proceedings took almost 10 years to completely finalize.
    Never let your children go through the pain of Cafcass. It is horrific.

    To this day I struggle with any kind of relationship beyond friendship. I even struggle with family relationships.

    The moral of the story is, don't trust anyone beyond friendship, at some point they will **** you over and break your heart.

    I may die alone, but at least I will be happy.
    http://www.bailii.org/cgi-bin/markup...method=boolean

    CA89 proceedings are horrible though, it feels icky playing the tactical games you have to in any litigation with a kid in the middle of it.
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    (Original post by Le Nombre)
    http://www.bailii.org/cgi-bin/markup...method=boolean

    CA89 proceedings are horrible though, it feels icky playing the tactical games you have to in any litigation with a kid in the middle of it.
    Whats worse is that my father is also a lawyer. Which meant any proceeding were long and drawn out to the extreme.
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    Mum cheated on Dad. Dad came out as gay a few months later. Mum says this is why she cheated. Dad says this is manure.

    What it taught me? Don't bother with relationships because everybody lies.
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    (Original post by DiddyDec)
    Whats worse is that my father is also a lawyer. Which meant any proceeding were long and drawn out to the extreme.
    Was your mum too? One of those was rumbling on in a firm I worked at, both would have racked up 2 million plus in fees if they hadn't been getting it cheap and doing some themselves. They were chasing each other's assets half way round the globe, think the original British case started in 1999 and so far as I know there's still something going on in the Caymans.

    At least he saved money on fees, though I suppose every time he needed a wig jockey he'd have to pay.
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    (Original post by Le Nombre)
    Was your mum too? One of those was rumbling on in a firm I worked at, both would have racked up 2 million plus in fees if they hadn't been getting it cheap and doing some themselves. They were chasing each other's assets half way round the globe, think the original British case started in 1999 and so far as I know there's still something going on in the Caymans.

    At least he saved money on fees, though I suppose every time he needed a wig jockey he'd have to pay.
    Both my mother and my father spent a fortune on fees alone. My mother was a stay at home mother at the time of the divorce, but she had saved a fortune else where before marriage.

    Divorce is a sad case of greed and entitlement. It is something I never want to be involved in. Again.
    • #2
    #2

    My dad cheated. There was also physical, emotional, and verbal abuse.
    What did it teach me? I will not tolerate cheating or any type of abuse aforementioned and I will not ever cheat on any boyfriend. Taught me not to take things for granted. Had to grow up at a young age to deal with life. Luckily my mom is a strong and hardworker. We supported eachother and made it.
    Although it didn't work out for my parents, I do want to get married someday.
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    (Original post by Jakeh)
    My Dad decided to cheat on my mum for about 3 years.
    What did it teach me?

    Quite a lot. I have a tonne of respect for women and will never EVER overstep my mark or pressure or do anything to a woman that would make them feel uncomfortable. Helping my mum get through it was the hardest thing in my life to date and it's made me really understand just how difficult relationships are. She sacrificed everything. A job in Australia, her A levels, a degree, her friends, her life, all for this guy, she was with him from the age of 13.

    Devastated doesn't cut it and to this day I will never, ever let myself do that. I will never cheat on any girlfriend I am with, ever, no matter how tough it gets, I had an opportunity once years ago and I did the right thing then and I'd do the right thing if I was with someone today. I never want to cause that pain to anyone.

    It taught me to be as open and honest as I can be, I don't really lie anymore (to anyone), I would rather give the hard truth than get caught out lieing, even if it means getting in the **** today. It's better to be honest I feel.

    I think negatively it's taught me that relationships rarely work, even childhood sweethearts couldn't make it work, so I do think I criticise and worry about stuff in relationships trying to seek "perfection", when ultimately there is no such thing. Relationships are a lot of work, hard work. With giving and taking, lots of compromises and lots of tough times.

    It's also probably negatively impacted me as I am constantly worried that I am settling down to early and what happens if she leaves me, how will I find someone else, so mostly impacted me physcologically.

    But yeah. Divorce sucks. Relationships are ****ing tough. Marriage must be even harder.
    People like you impress the **** out of me. Its extremely admirable!

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    My parents didn't divorce. Happy family

    What this taught me about marriage: marriage is great if you choose your true love
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    (Original post by Julesxx)
    People like you impress the **** out of me.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I hope you've taken a shower and put on some clean underwear then
 
 
 
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