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Too early to move in?
I have a really big problem. The thing is, I've been going out with my boyfriend for just over a year now and he was in the army when I met him. Since we met, a lot has changed and he's left the army, claiming it was because he missed me too much etc etc. Anyway I'll get straight to the point. I'm living near Liverpool and we live about half an hour away from each other at the moment, we see each other quite often. I'm going to the University of Glasgow in September and he wants to come with me.
I'm just torn between two decisions, whether to get a flat over there with him or not or go to student halls. I've already applied to student halls after ringing up and asking for advice and they advised me to apply anyway and that I can withdraw my application nearer the time if I wish.
So I do have a back-up plan. We haven't sorted anywhere out to stay yet, although we have been looking and making a few plans. A part of me wants to move in together, knowing that I'd miss him like crazy if I went without him, knowing that he'd join back the army and that I probably would never get to see him again. I've heard rumours that the halls can be quite depressing with most students in Glasgow going home at weekends and I really don't want that.
Another part of me doesn't want to miss out on the whole student life and wonders whether this is the right thing to do or not, because I sometimes find myself wondering if I actually do want to be with him for the rest of my life. I'm so confused. My parents would hit the roof and it's so much more hassle having to find a place to stay and him having to find a job over there.
Can anyone give me some advice? xxx
I'm just torn between two decisions, whether to get a flat over there with him or not or go to student halls. I've already applied to student halls after ringing up and asking for advice and they advised me to apply anyway and that I can withdraw my application nearer the time if I wish.
So I do have a back-up plan. We haven't sorted anywhere out to stay yet, although we have been looking and making a few plans. A part of me wants to move in together, knowing that I'd miss him like crazy if I went without him, knowing that he'd join back the army and that I probably would never get to see him again. I've heard rumours that the halls can be quite depressing with most students in Glasgow going home at weekends and I really don't want that.
Another part of me doesn't want to miss out on the whole student life and wonders whether this is the right thing to do or not, because I sometimes find myself wondering if I actually do want to be with him for the rest of my life. I'm so confused. My parents would hit the roof and it's so much more hassle having to find a place to stay and him having to find a job over there.
Can anyone give me some advice? xxx
If I were you I'd go into halls. Yes, I know you really love your boyfriend and everything, but if you split up in 6 months time and you've made barely any friends at uni you'll be living on your own and feeling quite lonely. You're going up there for the uni experience. This doesn't mean you have to be single and sleeping around, but it's a time for you to have lots of new experiences and to meet new people. If you and your boyfriend are meant to be together you'll still be meant to be whether you're living together or not.
Go into halls. It's a fantastic experience and you'll meet a lot of people.
How is he planning on going back into the Army? They may take a very dull view of him leaving on a whim and the reapplying. Plus he'll have to go through selection again which will take time. I don't understand why you'll never see him again either. The UK isn't exactly a big place so you could see each other at the weekends if you made the effort.
It sounds like you both need to sit down and talk about what he wants from his life and a career.
How is he planning on going back into the Army? They may take a very dull view of him leaving on a whim and the reapplying. Plus he'll have to go through selection again which will take time. I don't understand why you'll never see him again either. The UK isn't exactly a big place so you could see each other at the weekends if you made the effort.
It sounds like you both need to sit down and talk about what he wants from his life and a career.
Student halls for a year, then consider a flatshare with your bloke from year two onwards. I had to live off campus for other reasons, and while I certainly enjoyed it, I can't help but feel that I missed out on a LOT of stuff.
If he wants to follow you up and find his own place, then that's up to him, but I would personally advise that you have your year as being an independent fresher first!
If he wants to follow you up and find his own place, then that's up to him, but I would personally advise that you have your year as being an independent fresher first!
I'd got into halls. Balancing it out, I think you'd be more likely to regret not staying in halls than you would regret not moving in with your boyfriend. If you two are meant to work out, then he will still be there next year. If you don't work out, you will have missed out on a big part of uni life for nothing.
Reply 5
I would advise going in halls first year then moving out to house with your bf if you're still together for second year as other people have said on this thread.
I lived in halls last year and I did not like it at all, i dont know why...it just wasnt what i expected. all my friends came from my course and none from my halls, but i would still suggest moving into halls first year as this is not always the case. many people have made very gd friends in halls.
The halls I lived in were quite small aswell, where as this year i am starting my degree at a different uni and the halls are vast, the whole lifestyle will be different, so im hoping that i will settle well there.
Also, it is sometimes a bonus if you're halls are on the actual campus, so dont have to travel far, especially if you are intedning on working hard.
I want to move in with my bf too, but i think im gonna wait till 2nd year and get used to everything and try and make some friends.
In conclusion, I would regret not living in halls, just even to try for the experience, especially as a fresher.
Anyway whatever you decide, good luck!
I lived in halls last year and I did not like it at all, i dont know why...it just wasnt what i expected. all my friends came from my course and none from my halls, but i would still suggest moving into halls first year as this is not always the case. many people have made very gd friends in halls.
The halls I lived in were quite small aswell, where as this year i am starting my degree at a different uni and the halls are vast, the whole lifestyle will be different, so im hoping that i will settle well there.
Also, it is sometimes a bonus if you're halls are on the actual campus, so dont have to travel far, especially if you are intedning on working hard.
I want to move in with my bf too, but i think im gonna wait till 2nd year and get used to everything and try and make some friends.
In conclusion, I would regret not living in halls, just even to try for the experience, especially as a fresher.
Anyway whatever you decide, good luck!
Reply 6
I'd love to live with my boyfriend but i know I don't have the maturity for that yet. You may regret it if you let your relationship stop you from making the most of other available experiences.
squirly
If I were you I'd go into halls. Yes, I know you really love your boyfriend and everything, but if you split up in 6 months time and you've made barely any friends at uni you'll be living on your own and feeling quite lonely. You're going up there for the uni experience. This doesn't mean you have to be single and sleeping around, but it's a time for you to have lots of new experiences and to meet new people. If you and your boyfriend are meant to be together you'll still be meant to be whether you're living together or not.
i totally agree.
your boyfriend can come stay with you whenever he wants and you can go see him when you want and still be able to have the uni experience if you live in halls.
my boyfriend lived in halls last year and i stayed over lots and still saw him alot and he still got to take part in the whole uni experience.
after youve lived in halls for a year, youll have to move out so you can pick who you want to go live with (like the friends youve made over the year) and have your boyfriend move in with you if you like.
BlackHawk
Go into halls. It's a fantastic experience and you'll meet a lot of people.
How is he planning on going back into the Army? They may take a very dull view of him leaving on a whim and the reapplying. Plus he'll have to go through selection again which will take time. I don't understand why you'll never see him again either. The UK isn't exactly a big place so you could see each other at the weekends if you made the effort.
It sounds like you both need to sit down and talk about what he wants from his life and a career.
How is he planning on going back into the Army? They may take a very dull view of him leaving on a whim and the reapplying. Plus he'll have to go through selection again which will take time. I don't understand why you'll never see him again either. The UK isn't exactly a big place so you could see each other at the weekends if you made the effort.
It sounds like you both need to sit down and talk about what he wants from his life and a career.
The army are severely short of men, and they'd easily take a trained soldier back, especially if it was one of the trades they are really short of.
you'll miss out if u dont go into halls... my friend moved in with her bf and didnt make many friends!
plus you can live with him in 2nd year... then you'll have been together longer too!
me and my bf wanna move in together but cant afford to... :-(
but i was in halls last year and it was immense
plus you can live with him in 2nd year... then you'll have been together longer too!
me and my bf wanna move in together but cant afford to... :-(
but i was in halls last year and it was immense
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