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    all right, i'm brand new to this site so i'm sorry if this is in the wrong place, but i have a problem and would be grateful of any suggestions.

    in short, my parents don't seem to want me to go to uni. i'm sure you can guess from my username what i want to study, so you can see that any career in that field would require a degree (i actually want to be a reasearch physicist); everything seems to be in my favour: i'm from a low income (dependant on benefits) family, in an area where traditionally few people go to uni, my most local uni (about 20-25 miles) is one of the best in the country for physics and has schemes in place to give lower entry grades to people in my area, my parents didn't go to uni (although one of them earned their degree in the army when training as an electrical engineer) so i would get the privillages of the whole 'first one in the family going to uni' thing, and there are a series of 'exceptional circumstances' (that i would rather not get into right now) that would also go some way to ensuring a lower entry criteria.

    so when it come to getting the course i want at my preferred uni, i'm in with a good chance, but when i talk to my parents about it they quickly change the topic; often they just talk at me about it rather than discussing it with me. my dad never really speaks about it and has told me that after my A-levels i'll go straight into work; they say that even the most local uni (25 miles) is too far away (i was planning on living at home, and my parents want that too (on the one occasion we actually managed to speak about it at all)) even though it's straight down the motor way and there is a near-direct bus link, and say it'll be too costly travel.

    they have always been supportive except over this, i have no support from them at all, and i'll need it (for all the normal reasons and because for me moving away isn't an option (i'd rather not explain why now) so please don't reply saying 'you're old enough now, just apply anyway').

    how can i talk them round?
    thanks in advance.
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    Which uni is it. Research the scholarships and bursaries available, usually there is quite a few for science related degrees. You could show these to your parents seeing as money seems to be a big issue. Also do your parents know the career path you want to take and why a degree is necessary. If not tell them and mention the average salary. If it's a Russell group mention the prestige and how it could help you get an easier job later. Hope this helped.
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    (Original post by nadinepierce)
    Which uni is it. Research the scholarships and bursaries available, usually there is quite a few for science related degrees. You could show these to your parents seeing as money seems to be a big issue. Also do your parents know the career path you want to take and why a degree is necessary. If not tell them and mention the average salary. If it's a Russell group mention the prestige and how it could help you get an easier job later. Hope this helped.
    the uni is Sussex, their in the top 10 in the country for physics laast timee i checked.
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    (Original post by physics man)
    the uni is Sussex, their in the top 10 in the country for physics laast timee i checked.
    Top 20 I think scholarship is on here http://www.sussex.ac.uk/physics/ugst.../2014/view/230 if you want to share with your parents. Again you could use the prestige factor.
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    (Original post by physics man)
    all right, i'm brand new to this site so i'm sorry if this is in the wrong place, but i have a problem and would be grateful of any suggestions.

    in short, my parents don't seem to want me to go to uni. i'm sure you can guess from my username what i want to study, so you can see that any career in that field would require a degree (i actually want to be a reasearch physicist); everything seems to be in my favour: i'm from a low income (dependant on benefits) family, in an area where traditionally few people go to uni, my most local uni (about 20-25 miles) is one of the best in the country for physics and has schemes in place to give lower entry grades to people in my area, my parents didn't go to uni (although one of them earned their degree in the army when training as an electrical engineer) so i would get the privillages of the whole 'first one in the family going to uni' thing, and there are a series of 'exceptional circumstances' (that i would rather not get into right now) that would also go some way to ensuring a lower entry criteria.

    so when it come to getting the course i want at my preferred uni, i'm in with a good chance, but when i talk to my parents about it they quickly change the topic; often they just talk at me about it rather than discussing it with me. my dad never really speaks about it and has told me that after my A-levels i'll go straight into work; they say that even the most local uni (25 miles) is too far away (i was planning on living at home, and my parents want that too (on the one occasion we actually managed to speak about it at all)) even though it's straight down the motor way and there is a near-direct bus link, and say it'll be too costly travel.

    they have always been supportive except over this, i have no support from them at all, and i'll need it (for all the normal reasons and because for me moving away isn't an option (i'd rather not explain why now) so please don't reply saying 'you're old enough now, just apply anyway').

    how can i talk them round?
    thanks in advance.
    Was it your dad who was in the Army?
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    (Original post by Clip)
    Was it your dad who was in the Army?
    yes.
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    (Original post by physics man)
    all right, i'm brand new to this site so i'm sorry if this is in the wrong place, but i have a problem and would be grateful of any suggestions.

    in short, my parents don't seem to want me to go to uni. i'm sure you can guess from my username what i want to study, so you can see that any career in that field would require a degree (i actually want to be a reasearch physicist); everything seems to be in my favour: i'm from a low income (dependant on benefits) family, in an area where traditionally few people go to uni, my most local uni (about 20-25 miles) is one of the best in the country for physics and has schemes in place to give lower entry grades to people in my area, my parents didn't go to uni (although one of them earned their degree in the army when training as an electrical engineer) so i would get the privillages of the whole 'first one in the family going to uni' thing, and there are a series of 'exceptional circumstances' (that i would rather not get into right now) that would also go some way to ensuring a lower entry criteria.

    so when it come to getting the course i want at my preferred uni, i'm in with a good chance, but when i talk to my parents about it they quickly change the topic; often they just talk at me about it rather than discussing it with me. my dad never really speaks about it and has told me that after my A-levels i'll go straight into work; they say that even the most local uni (25 miles) is too far away (i was planning on living at home, and my parents want that too (on the one occasion we actually managed to speak about it at all)) even though it's straight down the motor way and there is a near-direct bus link, and say it'll be too costly travel.

    they have always been supportive except over this, i have no support from them at all, and i'll need it (for all the normal reasons and because for me moving away isn't an option (i'd rather not explain why now) so please don't reply saying 'you're old enough now, just apply anyway').

    how can i talk them round?
    thanks in advance.
    Just have it out with them? "I'm going to University, I've done my research and it'll make me happy." I know you said they change the subject but at least then they know? I take it this isn't realistically going to put you off going altogether?

    I was in the same position was you, I come from a lower income family, no one in my family had a degree (let alone finished education past 16) and they wanted me to work right away. They sort of just had to deal with it, throughout they kept telling me to 'get a job' despite me working part time and studying.

    Don't let them hold you back, let them know your plans and wishes. Be firm with telling them this is important to you.
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    (Original post by nadinepierce)
    Top 20 I think scholarship is on here http://www.sussex.ac.uk/physics/ugst.../2014/view/230 if you want to share with your parents. Again you could use the prestige factor.
    thanks, and it's ranked 11th for physics (according to the Guardian).
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    (Original post by physics man)
    yes.
    I assume he got his degree in either the Signals or REME.

    This might be colouring his judgement. From his point of view, it's entirely possible to have a job and get a degree whilst being paid for it, rather than being a layabout student, wasting money left, right and centre and possibly ending up without a job at the end.

    You might approach it from the angle that you're actually not going to get very far on your A-levels alone. That although he didn't go to university per se, you would aspire to the same level of qualification as he holds - but not everyone can do it that way, in fact only a tiny number of people do. The way most people do it is regular university blahblahblah.

    They're probably concerned that it's a waste of money and you'll be coming cap in hand to them all the time and ultimately might still have trouble finding work. They might have a point.

    Try to see it from their point of view and see what you could say to counter this.

    For god's sake, don't listen to the people here giving it all the large about "it's your life and aspirations". Don't go to war with your parents on this. You should do absolutely everything you can to get there with some kind of agreement.

    Maybe you could compromise. Maybe you could say you'll find a job and work for a year - then they'll support you in going?
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    (Original post by Clip)
    I assume he got his degree in either the Signals or REME.

    This might be colouring his judgement. From his point of view, it's entirely possible to have a job and get a degree whilst being paid for it, rather than being a layabout student, wasting money left, right and centre and possibly ending up without a job at the end.

    You might approach it from the angle that you're actually not going to get very far on your A-levels alone. That although he didn't go to university per se, you would aspire to the same level of qualification as he holds - but not everyone can do it that way, in fact only a tiny number of people do. The way most people do it is regular university blahblahblah.

    They're probably concerned that it's a waste of money and you'll be coming cap in hand to them all the time and ultimately might still have trouble finding work. They might have a point.

    Try to see it from their point of view and see what you could say to counter this.

    For god's sake, don't listen to the people here giving it all the large about "it's your life and aspirations". Don't go to war with your parents on this. You should do absolutely everything you can to get there with some kind of agreement.

    Maybe you could compromise. Maybe you could say you'll find a job and work for a year - then they'll support you in going?
    it was the REME, if you're interested.

    i'll admit i hadn't thought about things from quite that point of view, but he thinks that the ONLY reason i want to go to uni is so that i can have a degree like him, and he doesn't seem to listen when i try and explain that there are other more important reasons.
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    (Original post by physics man)
    it was the REME, if you're interested.
    I thought so. So was I.

    i'll admit i hadn't thought about things from quite that point of view, but he thinks that the ONLY reason i want to go to uni is so that i can have a degree like him, and he doesn't seem to listen when i try and explain that there are other more important reasons.
    It depends what those reasons are.
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    (Original post by physics man)
    all right, i'm brand new to this site so i'm sorry if this is in the wrong place, but i have a problem and would be grateful of any suggestions.

    in short, my parents don't seem to want me to go to uni. i'm sure you can guess from my username what i want to study, so you can see that any career in that field would require a degree (i actually want to be a reasearch physicist); everything seems to be in my favour: i'm from a low income (dependant on benefits) family, in an area where traditionally few people go to uni, my most local uni (about 20-25 miles) is one of the best in the country for physics and has schemes in place to give lower entry grades to people in my area, my parents didn't go to uni (although one of them earned their degree in the army when training as an electrical engineer) so i would get the privillages of the whole 'first one in the family going to uni' thing, and there are a series of 'exceptional circumstances' (that i would rather not get into right now) that would also go some way to ensuring a lower entry criteria.

    so when it come to getting the course i want at my preferred uni, i'm in with a good chance, but when i talk to my parents about it they quickly change the topic; often they just talk at me about it rather than discussing it with me. my dad never really speaks about it and has told me that after my A-levels i'll go straight into work; they say that even the most local uni (25 miles) is too far away (i was planning on living at home, and my parents want that too (on the one occasion we actually managed to speak about it at all)) even though it's straight down the motor way and there is a near-direct bus link, and say it'll be too costly travel.

    they have always been supportive except over this, i have no support from them at all, and i'll need it (for all the normal reasons and because for me moving away isn't an option (i'd rather not explain why now) so please don't reply saying 'you're old enough now, just apply anyway').

    how can i talk them round?
    thanks in advance.
    OK, I know this sounds quite harsh but it's your life. Do what YOU want, forget that your parents don't want you to go to uni, JUST GO!

    It's university, you don't need your parents approval. Just apply and go and forget what they think.
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    (Original post by physics man)
    all right, i'm brand new to this site so i'm sorry if this is in the wrong place, but i have a problem and would be grateful of any suggestions.

    in short, my parents don't seem to want me to go to uni. i'm sure you can guess from my username what i want to study, so you can see that any career in that field would require a degree (i actually want to be a reasearch physicist); everything seems to be in my favour: i'm from a low income (dependant on benefits) family, in an area where traditionally few people go to uni, my most local uni (about 20-25 miles) is one of the best in the country for physics and has schemes in place to give lower entry grades to people in my area, my parents didn't go to uni (although one of them earned their degree in the army when training as an electrical engineer) so i would get the privillages of the whole 'first one in the family going to uni' thing, and there are a series of 'exceptional circumstances' (that i would rather not get into right now) that would also go some way to ensuring a lower entry criteria.

    so when it come to getting the course i want at my preferred uni, i'm in with a good chance, but when i talk to my parents about it they quickly change the topic; often they just talk at me about it rather than discussing it with me. my dad never really speaks about it and has told me that after my A-levels i'll go straight into work; they say that even the most local uni (25 miles) is too far away (i was planning on living at home, and my parents want that too (on the one occasion we actually managed to speak about it at all)) even though it's straight down the motor way and there is a near-direct bus link, and say it'll be too costly travel.

    they have always been supportive except over this, i have no support from them at all, and i'll need it (for all the normal reasons and because for me moving away isn't an option (i'd rather not explain why now) so please don't reply saying 'you're old enough now, just apply anyway').

    how can i talk them round?
    thanks in advance.
    Sounds like there is a reason that they cite, for you to not go to univ?
    You can always do an online physics degree? The Open University is well respected.
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    To deal with restrictive parents:

    1) Use body-paint or fake tan to colour yourself bright orange like an Essex lass.
    2) Any time your parents ask you to do anything, spit fire at them whilst flapping your arms and shouting "YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH BADGES TO TRAIN ME!!"
    3) Fly away.
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    (Original post by Harvey Dent)
    To deal with restrictive parents:

    1) Use body-paint or fake tan to colour yourself bright orange like an Essex lass.
    2) Any time your parents ask you to do anything, spit fire at them whilst flapping your arms and shouting "YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH BADGES TO TRAIN ME!!"
    3) Fly away.
    i shall take this advice under consideration, wise sir.
 
 
 
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