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Whens the best time?
I know there's no set right or wrong to this and it might make me sound horrible but I knkow I want to break up with my boyfriend...I'm going away to uni in 3 weeks and even if I wasn't, it doesn't feel right being with him anymore, I just don't feel an awful lot for him, despite him being really good to me and never doing anything wrong...(sounds silly I know.)
But, it's my birthday next week and I know he's already bought and wrapped my presents. Not only that, he's planning a massive party for me, with mostly mutual friends as guests (including close friends of his who are in a band doing a set in my lounge) If I say anything before that, I might loose all of my birthday celebrations, plus having to tell loads of people we've invited why things aren't happening anymore...but at the same time I don't want it to end up me using him.
I was thinking wait til after my birthday and then bring it up...but I dont want him to have spent loads on me which will go to waste...agh, I don't want to use him but at the same time I dont want my 18th ruined.
What do you reckon?
But, it's my birthday next week and I know he's already bought and wrapped my presents. Not only that, he's planning a massive party for me, with mostly mutual friends as guests (including close friends of his who are in a band doing a set in my lounge) If I say anything before that, I might loose all of my birthday celebrations, plus having to tell loads of people we've invited why things aren't happening anymore...but at the same time I don't want it to end up me using him.
I was thinking wait til after my birthday and then bring it up...but I dont want him to have spent loads on me which will go to waste...agh, I don't want to use him but at the same time I dont want my 18th ruined.
What do you reckon?
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wait until after the party, then give the presents he gave u back and offer to go halves or something on what he paid for your party. or just give the presents back if he wants you to, that should be enough.
Do it after the party, you wont be using him if you wait its likely to better for both of you. If you do it before he will have the embrassment of explaining to people why the party isnt going ahead or that you have split.
do it now! all your doing is using him for a party, which comes as a reward from him for your loving him. Now you've stopped loving him, you don't deserve that reward, and when he asks you how long you've been thinking this an you tell him, he'll say why didnt you tell me before i did that big party for you.
ok it may be harsh but i think you should just do it, its not fair to wait. I understand its hard as he has plans for your birthday but its also unfair to let him carry on thinking everything is ok.
either that or wait but thats also unfair!
It must be hard for you tho. Hope it all works out ok an have a great birthday!
either that or wait but thats also unfair!
It must be hard for you tho. Hope it all works out ok an have a great birthday!
Thing is, he's not actually paying anything towards the party, it's just he's phoned a lot of our mutual friends over the last few days...my parents are paying for it and it's in my house, so I'm not actually using any of his money for it. I just think I'd be better off waiting, obviously I wont be doing it the day after or anything...but I hate to be a little bit selfish but I really don't want my 18th birthday ruined...surely thats not too out of order? AGH!
nah youre not out of order, just wait
PinkPigeon
Thing is, he's not actually paying anything towards the party, it's just he's phoned a lot of our mutual friends over the last few days...my parents are paying for it and it's in my house, so I'm not actually using any of his money for it. I just think I'd be better off waiting, obviously I wont be doing it the day after or anything...but I hate to be a little bit selfish but I really don't want my 18th birthday ruined...surely thats not too out of order? AGH!
Sorry but i think it is slightly. You dont love your bf any more but he still loves you, personally i would want to no as soon as poss!
I would do it now ASAP don;t wait it makes things much worse, but be prepared he will be heartbroken especially if he thinks the world of you. Or why not work out why its gone wrong before you do.
Just for the record...we haven't exactly been together years, only a couple of months...obviously if it had been a really long term thing I'd be a bit more urgent about it.
i'd tell him before the party... if you tell him after he'll be left totally confused as to why you were so nice to him etc
maybe just say "dont u think it would be better if we went our seperate ways when I went to uni"
he might be thinking similar things to you
plus it wont ruin your birthday, tell him you want to be friends, even if your lying, its not as if you'll have to see him everyday once you move!
maybe just say "dont u think it would be better if we went our seperate ways when I went to uni"
he might be thinking similar things to you
plus it wont ruin your birthday, tell him you want to be friends, even if your lying, its not as if you'll have to see him everyday once you move!
I was going to say wait til Uni so you don't feel as bad and can say the distance isn't working. (I don't know that from experience honest... 
)
But then you've only been together a few months so I'd say do it after your birthday but offer to give money to him/give back presents if they're suitable (ie. not kinky underwear). It'll ruin your birthday if you do it before. It's mean on your boyfriend to be going out with someone who doesn't love you but I think it'd be less harsh on him if you split up with him after your birthday. After all, it'd ruin your birthday for him as well.
)But then you've only been together a few months so I'd say do it after your birthday but offer to give money to him/give back presents if they're suitable (ie. not kinky underwear). It'll ruin your birthday if you do it before. It's mean on your boyfriend to be going out with someone who doesn't love you but I think it'd be less harsh on him if you split up with him after your birthday. After all, it'd ruin your birthday for him as well.
Definitely do it now. Once you know you want to split up it's really not fair staying with him because he'll probably ask you how long you've been thinking about it and that. It's very difficult, i was in something a bit similar but I broke up as soon as i knew i wanted to and within time things are getting better. it isnt fair to him to pretend things are ok when they're not xxx
emmathe37th
I was going to say wait til Uni so you don't feel as bad and can say the distance isn't working. (I don't know that from experience honest... )
)That's just so sly! Don't do that...
She wants to break up with him so why think of it as how bad she is gonna feel? If she cares about this guy then she should tell him now as he is the one losing someone. Most guys wants girls to be straight forward imo, so many people get hurt because of games.
so_this_is_sam
Definitely do it now. Once you know you want to split up it's really not fair staying with him because he'll probably ask you how long you've been thinking about it and that. It's very difficult, i was in something a bit similar but I broke up as soon as i knew i wanted to and within time things are getting better. it isnt fair to him to pretend things are ok when they're not xxx
i'll agree with that! i was going to give a smart answer and say don't get deeply involved with boys at such a young age, but then i remembered it's what teenagers do haha
don't use him or let him say that you've used him for anything - it will save you so much trouble. oh and saying its about you going to uni is a good one for neutrality and avoiding hurting him (too much).
Do it asap. I broke up with one of my exes the week before my b'day it was bad for him but i was able to enjoy my b'day without putting myself through mental torture or doing somethin stupid ie. clinging onto someone else i find cute whilst in a drunken stupour and crushing him infront of everyone who's important to us both. Yes it is selfish but getting it over with now means you'll find out who your real friends are (those who respect you for what you've done) and so what if this band doesn't play? wil lit be the end of the world? have you not been going out drinking for the past year or more? have you had a key to your house for years? if so what makes this birthday any different to any other birthday? get my drift?
I'm sure you'll figure something out just hope u dont hurt the poor boy, long relationship or not.
~* Robs *~
I'm sure you'll figure something out just hope u dont hurt the poor boy, long relationship or not.
~* Robs *~
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