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I don't understand how people make friends Watch

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    After years of failing to make any real friends, I've come to the conclusion that I flat out don't understand the process of forming friendship that everyone else seems to grasp so intuitively. In social situations, I'm so unsure as to where the boundaries lay in terms of being overly friendly/clingy that I tend to just be very passive. That said, I feel that I'm still fairly amiable when talking with people.

    When I have a task to do, during group work at university for example, I can be one of the more talkative ones. There's even been a couple of times where I've worked with some extremely quiet people yet I notice that they still have at least a few friends on the course. Also, when I used to have a job I would get on reasonably well with everyone there but never see them outside of work. Then sometimes a new person would start and they would seem to instantly make friends with someone there who I had known for a while.

    Am I alone in my utter confusion?
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    You might be autistic.
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    Don't worry about being clingy. People want to be liked! Starting out clingy is OK so long as you get the hint if they don't reciprocate. And people watch when you're out and about, and you'll learn how friends work even if it doesn't come to you naturally. Good luck
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    strong aspergers
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    After years of failing to make any real friends, I've come to the conclusion that I flat out don't understand the process of forming friendship that everyone else seems to grasp so intuitively. In social situations, I'm so unsure as to where the boundaries lay in terms of being overly friendly/clingy that I tend to just be very passive. That said, I feel that I'm still fairly amiable when talking with people.

    When I have a task to do, during group work at university for example, I can be one of the more talkative ones. There's even been a couple of times where I've worked with some extremely quiet people yet I notice that they still have at least a few friends on the course. Also, when I used to have a job I would get on reasonably well with everyone there but never see them outside of work. Then sometimes a new person would start and they would seem to instantly make friends with someone there who I had known for a while.

    Am I alone in my utter confusion?
    No you're not alone. I'm so dreadful at making friends, yet like you I'm not really shy or anything. I just always end up thinking that people find me annoying, or that I'm being a burden and adding nothing to the group. I like socialising but I tend not to bother as I find it all rather a hassle - chatting is just so complicated and it all seems so confusing for me haha.
    :confused:
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    How eerie...I say this a lot on here, but damn, I could have written that myself, word for word. My situation is absolutely identical, every single thing you've written applies to me. It's like reading my life story, except it's from someone else's perspective.

    You're not alone.
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    How eerie...I say this a lot on here, but damn, I could have written that myself, word for word. My situation is absolutely identical, every single thing you've written applies to me. It's like reading my life story, except it's from someone else's perspective.

    You're not alone.
    Same.

    I wish everyone in this situation would get together on tsr and make our own friends group
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    Yeah like Im not sure when I meet new people what are my boundaries I like testing the water seeinghow they react to some of the words I use . I make and loose friends all the time my friends seem to like me I think I dunno when making friends dont be in the back silent tagging along they wont likeyou put input I had hat mistake
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    I have Dyslexia and wasnt diagnosed until last year. I have always found making friends difficult and was wondering was it because of having Dyslexia. My parents and teachers always thought I was quiet, shy etc but I was trying so hard to make friends that would last beyond school.
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    (Original post by ZeniB)
    No you're not alone. I'm so dreadful at making friends, yet like you I'm not really shy or anything. I just always end up thinking that people find me annoying, or that I'm being a burden and adding nothing to the group. I like socialising but I tend not to bother as I find it all rather a hassle - chatting is just so complicated and it all seems so confusing for me haha.
    :confused:
    That's exactly what I do. I feel obliged to extricate myself from them so they can be free of me
 
 
 
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