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    Ring the police NOW

    You may also want to call the NSPCC and their number is 0808 800 5000
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Hi guys,

    I'm 16 and I'm starting sixth form in September. I live with my mum because my dad died a while back. Before my dad died, my mum was very jealous of me being close to my dad and she tried to get me away from my dad by not letting me see him. Ever since my dad went, I've been self harming, been depressed and I get really bad panic attacks. My mum is also very controlling. I'm not allowed to go out for walks or anything to vent out my frustration. She constantly checks my phone and my emails to see if I've got a bf and she beats me up as well. For a levels I want to do Maths ,Physics, Chemistry and German, Instead of German she wants me to do Further Maths and not so long ago we had a massive argument over this. We ended up screaming at each other and she beat me up so badly that I ended up getting a bruise on my arms and bruises on my legs. She knows I want to move out for uni and I overheard her telling her mate that she's going to follow me no matter where I go. I truly do not know what to do. The other day, I wore a summer dress which showed off my arms and she called me a sl*t. I also overheard her telling my grandma that she was planning to arrange a marriage to me when I'm 18 because she thinks I'm a troublemaker.I don't have any family from my dad's side and my mum's parents are very backward so I really don't have anyone. What do I do? My depression and panic attacks are getting worse.
    Oh my gosh, I am SO sorry! I'm in the same boat, what you said is basically my story apart from the fact that my dad is alive and that I have just finished my A-levels. When I was 16 (I'm 18 now) it was worse, my mum would beat me up so bad and I'd have to lie to the teachers and tell them I fell, and I managed to get social services off my back when I was 17 (long story). Do you come from an Asian family? Just asking because I do! My mum hates me out of all my siblings and she's really backwards, never lets me out either let alone move out for uni, if I moved out I'm scared she'll hire a hit man to find me and kill me (although I doubt it, I can see it happening). The arrange marriage thing is so true for me too and it's a long story but I can't tell my dad - it'll make things way worse. My mum's mentally messed up. When I was 16/17 she'd take my phone away all the time so I feel you. She still stalks me more than ever before.

    Anyway here's what you HAVE to do, it's what I would've done if I was brave and smart enough when I was 16:

    - Don't self-harm. Seriously, don't. It won't fix anything and there's other ways you can relieve stress and anger. For example, snap an elastic band on your wrist every time you feel the urge to harm yourself. Or squeeze ice cubes in your hand, or punch a pillow. I know how useless self-harming is, it just hurts yourself and nothing else. I know because I used to self-harm. I know self-harm can come in different forms but if you cut yourself then remember the ugly scars it leaves behind! I have some faint scars from it on my upper arms even though I stopped self-harming over a year ago.

    - You definitely need to talk to someone you trust and someone in authority who can help you out of it. Help is there, don't run away from it like I did. As a minor you have many people who'd be willing to help you. Talk to your GP when possible - You can talk about your depression, panic attacks and self-harm. S/he will be willing to help you. You could bring up the abuse as well - GPs are obligated to help you. If you can't leave the house, call the police. There, I said it. You can call the police because what your mum is doing to you is against the law. They will help you. Another option is to call the NSPCC, like another poster suggested. You can call the NSPCC on 0808 800 5000 or email [email protected] and tell them your situation- they'll give you advice and send you help. You can also call ChildLine for free to speak to a counsellor on 0800 1111, their website is: http://www.childline.org.uk/talk/Pages/Talk.aspx - it's for anyone 18 and under. Trust me, if you don't get help you will struggle to balance your A-levels and your personal life. You can also speak to a teacher at college too if you don't get help until you start college. There should be some sort of student support you can go to.

    Your mum can't arrange a marriage for you if you don't want it - that then turns into forced marriage. Arrange marriage is when both the girl and guy agree to get married - when one or both disagree but are still made to get married this then becomes forced marriage which is against the law. There are helplines out there to help you, but before it gets to that point please tell someone about the abuse. Your mum has NO right to do that to you and it's never the victim's fault. I know your mum is like that, as is mine, so talking to her probably won't help but it's worth a try - don't do it if she'd hurt you though. You NEED to get out of the situation though please, it'll only harm your mental health further in the long term.

    Good luck. I'm really scared for you .
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh my gosh, I am SO sorry! I'm in the same boat, what you said is basically my story apart from the fact that my dad is alive and that I have just finished my A-levels. When I was 16 (I'm 18 now) it was worse, my mum would beat me up so bad and I'd have to lie to the teachers and tell them I fell, and I managed to get social services off my back when I was 17 (long story). Do you come from an Asian family? Just asking because I do! My mum hates me out of all my siblings and she's really backwards, never lets me out either let alone move out for uni, if I moved out I'm scared she'll hire a hit man to find me and kill me (although I doubt it, I can see it happening). The arrange marriage thing is so true for me too and it's a long story but I can't tell my dad - it'll make things way worse. My mum's mentally messed up. When I was 16/17 she'd take my phone away all the time so I feel you. She still stalks me more than ever before.

    Anyway here's what you HAVE to do, it's what I would've done if I was brave and smart enough when I was 16:

    - Don't self-harm. Seriously, don't. It won't fix anything and there's other ways you can relieve stress and anger. For example, snap an elastic band on your wrist every time you feel the urge to harm yourself. Or squeeze ice cubes in your hand, or punch a pillow. I know how useless self-harming is, it just hurts yourself and nothing else. I know because I used to self-harm. I know self-harm can come in different forms but if you cut yourself then remember the ugly scars it leaves behind! I have some faint scars from it on my upper arms even though I stopped self-harming over a year ago.

    - You definitely need to talk to someone you trust and someone in authority who can help you out of it. Help is there, don't run away from it like I did. As a minor you have many people who'd be willing to help you. Talk to your GP when possible - You can talk about your depression, panic attacks and self-harm. S/he will be willing to help you. You could bring up the abuse as well - GPs are obligated to help you. If you can't leave the house, call the police. There, I said it. You can call the police because what your mum is doing to you is against the law. They will help you. Another option is to call the NSPCC, like another poster suggested. You can call the NSPCC on 0808 800 5000 or email [email protected] and tell them your situation- they'll give you advice and send you help. You can also call ChildLine for free to speak to a counsellor on 0800 1111, their website is: http://www.childline.org.uk/talk/Pages/Talk.aspx - it's for anyone 18 and under. Trust me, if you don't get help you will struggle to balance your A-levels and your personal life. You can also speak to a teacher at college too if you don't get help until you start college. There should be some sort of student support you can go to.

    Your mum can't arrange a marriage for you if you don't want it - that then turns into forced marriage. Arrange marriage is when both the girl and guy agree to get married - when one or both disagree but are still made to get married this then becomes forced marriage which is against the law. There are helplines out there to help you, but before it gets to that point please tell someone about the abuse. Your mum has NO right to do that to you and it's never the victim's fault. I know your mum is like that, as is mine, so talking to her probably won't help but it's worth a try - don't do it if she'd hurt you though. You NEED to get out of the situation though please, it'll only harm your mental health further in the long term.

    Good luck. I'm really scared for you .
    Can you pm me?x
 
 
 
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