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I just can't get over him.

My ex broke up with me almost 4 months ago. I did all those thing people tell you to do even you want to get over someone. Like stop talking/seeing them, try not to think about them, get rid of all things that remind you of them, keep yourself busy, start a new hobby, keep reminding herself about the bad things they did to you, encourage yourself that you have good qualities, etc...

I've been doing all of that. All of it, and it seems like my mind is a broken record that keeps replaying what happened, what he said, random moments in our relationship, things he did, over and over. I work and I'll be going back to uni soon so I have more than enough to keep me busy, but why can't a forget him? I feel so hurt.

We broke up because we wern't getting on at all and it seemed the only thing to do, we both agreed we would try again but he seemed to get over me so quickly and didn't want to get back together.

He never ever texts or calls me, its always me trying to get hold of him, but if i don't he wont text or ring me, and he doesn't want to see me, even to be friends.

We were together about 3 years, how can he just cut me off like this? He says there's no one else, i just want him back! :frown:

Its hurting me SO much.

Reply 1

lilac!!

15

wow thats harsh of him!!
listen why do you want a di*k like him back in your life?
look go out on day with a friend and just enjoy yourself!! :smile:

go clubbing meet some other people
i know 3 years is a long time however like you said if you guys were not getting on at all whats the point having him back when you are just going to repeat all of it again?

Reply 2

Sazarina88

11

Anonymous

My ex broke up with me almost 4 months ago. I did all those thing people tell you to do even you want to get over someone. Like stop talking/seeing them, try not to think about them, get rid of all things that remind you of them, keep yourself busy, start a new hobby, keep reminding herself about the bad things they did to you, encourage yourself that you have good qualities, etc...

I've been doing all of that. All of it, and it seems like my mind is a broken record that keeps replaying what happened, what he said, random moments in our relationship, things he did, over and over. I work and I'll be going back to uni soon so I have more than enough to keep me busy, but why can't a forget him? I feel so hurt.

We broke up because we wern't getting on at all and it seemed the only thing to do, we both agreed we would try again but he seemed to get over me so quickly and didn't want to get back together.

He never ever texts or calls me, its always me trying to get hold of him, but if i don't he wont text or ring me, and he doesn't want to see me, even to be friends.

We were together about 3 years, how can he just cut me off like this? He says there's no one else, i just want him back! :frown:

Its hurting me SO much.

Do you want to forget him completely? Do you want to forget all those random moments you're thinking of? You're viewing the fact that you can't forget these as negative - perhaps it's positive that when you want to, you can remember them.

As for why he's cut you off, perhaps he's finding it hard too so by not making any contact with you he doesn't think about you as much? If you were together for 3 years, you must've been able to talk about your problems sometimes - do you think you could perhaps talk to him about how you feel and see how he feels too? Once you find out how he feels about it all, you may be able to get closure.

3 years is a long time to be with someone when you are young but see those 3 years as an enjoyable time where you learnt lots about yourself and other people. Accept that you are going to have to move on from him and accept that, yes, it does hurt you but all the experiences you've been through with your boyfriend, including the past 4 months, will help you in the future.

Good luck,
Sarah

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

lilac!!

wow thats harsh of him!!
listen why do you want a di*k like him back in your life?
look go out on day with a friend and just enjoy yourself!! :smile:

go clubbing meet some other people
i know 3 years is a long time however like you said if you guys were not getting on at all whats the point having him back when you are just going to repeat all of it again?

Because i just want to work it out. I do go clubbing etc it doesn't help.
Thanks tho :redface:

Reply 4

lilac!!

15

sorry if this may sound harsh, but you want to work it out with a guy who wants you out of his life? you said he doesnt call you nor does he text, if you really do want to make things uo why dont you call him telling him how you feel? if you guys went out for 3 years i'm sure he will explain it to you!

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Sazarina88

Do you want to forget him completely? Do you want to forget all those random moments you're thinking of?

I don't want to forget him at all :frown:

Sazarina88

As for why he's cut you off, perhaps he's finding it hard too so by not making any contact with you he doesn't think about you as much? If you were together for 3 years, you must've been able to talk about your problems sometimes - do you think you could perhaps talk to him about how you feel and see how he feels too? Once you find out how he feels about it all, you may be able to get closure.

Yes i understand he's finding it hard, but bot half as much as me, and he always promised he'd be there no matter what. When we talk (which isnt often) he just says he's getting or got over me because we don't work as a couple. :frown:

Sazarina88

3 years is a long time to be with someone when you are young but see those 3 years as an enjoyable time where you learnt lots about yourself and other people. Accept that you are going to have to move on from him and accept that, yes, it does hurt you but all the experiences you've been through with your boyfriend, including the past 4 months, will help you in the future.

Good luck,
Sarah

I know i have to move on, but i literally cannot stop thinking about how amazing he was and how good we were together..

Reply 6

Le_désir

1

Anonymous

My ex broke up with me almost 4 months ago. I did all those thing people tell you to do even you want to get over someone. Like stop talking/seeing them, try not to think about them, get rid of all things that remind you of them, keep yourself busy, start a new hobby, keep reminding herself about the bad things they did to you, encourage yourself that you have good qualities, etc...

I've been doing all of that. All of it, and it seems like my mind is a broken record that keeps replaying what happened, what he said, random moments in our relationship, things he did, over and over. I work and I'll be going back to uni soon so I have more than enough to keep me busy, but why can't a forget him? I feel so hurt.

We broke up because we wern't getting on at all and it seemed the only thing to do, we both agreed we would try again but he seemed to get over me so quickly and didn't want to get back together.

He never ever texts or calls me, its always me trying to get hold of him, but if i don't he wont text or ring me, and he doesn't want to see me, even to be friends.

We were together about 3 years, how can he just cut me off like this? He says there's no one else, i just want him back! :frown:

Its hurting me SO much.

Hi there hun
i can understand how u feel it must hurt u a lot all that time you have spent with him and all those times u were toghether but hunny we can see that its hurting u a lot ...sometimes its hard to get over the person u loved someone so much and hes acting like that probably because he wants to be away from u ...i really feel that theres no point in u running after him i know and can understand how tempting it must be for u to hear his voice to listen to his words again and again but hunny do u want to continue being hurt like this ?
u can never force someone to love u unless they want to love u it seems to me he doesnt want to love u anymore although u know him more than I ...
breaking up with someone hurts a great deal and it is just 4 months after ur break up and that is soon in my opinion...it will take u a great deal of time to get over him and its great that u have tried all the possible things u can to get over him but hun dont u feel its about time u started to focus on yourself rather than worry about him ? because chances are whether u worry or long to be with him he wouldnt want to be with u as much as it hurts ...take a break from him throw away everything that reminds u of him and do something in ur room for example if he came to ur room redecorate to erase his peramantly try to i know its easy for me to say and difficult for u to do but please continue to try ..although 3 years is a very very long time but is it not possible for u to go on holiday perhaps ? for 2 weeks somewhere and just a new location where u might end up meeting a much better male who would treat u right and worry about ur needs rathar than ignore u ? but look at it also this way breaking up with the one u loved once dearly hurts so maybe he doesnt want to face u no more and it would hurt u im not saying gosh golly get over him all im saying is take it step by step do a different activity everyday have u tried telling ur friends about this issue? perhaps u can plan on something going on a girl night out or something? do u feel like theres a void? like something needs to be filled ?
do u feel like u have lost the only person that once loved u ?
Have u spoken to anyone else about this ?

if it helps please do keep sharing ur feelings with us we wish u the best of luck i look foward to ur post everything will be ok time will pass and u will forget him gradually :hugs:

Reply 7

so_this_is_sam

3

The problem with breaking up with your boyfriend is that a lot of the time you feel you'll never get over them and that you miss them so badly. But if the relationship wasnt working then you have to think what is it exactly that you missing? Probably not him exactly. It's more the feeling of having someone loving you unconditionally and someone special in your life that fills the time. It's having someone to cuddle and talk to, someone you can be yourself with. And you'll find that with someone else in time. It may take a while but you WILL. Getting over someone is difficult but it does happen, time is the best healer, i know that's so cliche but it honestly is. Good luck to you, go out and have a good time, and one day you'll meet another person who can fill that void, until then, have fun, life is just too short to waste it moping after someone else xxx

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Thankyou... :frown:

Reply 9

username47781

20

Trouble is i don't mean this is sound harsh or horrible but he's not responding to your texts he clearly wants nothing to do with you, it also shows what an idiot he is, you deserve better.

Reply 10

abc137

I know exactly how you feel hun i have had to experience something very similar recently, and i know that our suggestions are probably not going to help that much if you have already tried all of that and it doesn't work. Just try and keep busy and in time it should all fall into place, i know it's so hard but you have to stay strong he really isn't worth it if he is gonna treat you like that and you deserve much better! He should soon realise what he has done and make some effort, i hope it all works out for you. PM me if you ever need to chat or have a moan or anything - i don't mind! x

Reply 11

abc137

so_this_is_sam

The problem with breaking up with your boyfriend is that a lot of the time you feel you'll never get over them and that you miss them so badly. But if the relationship wasnt working then you have to think what is it exactly that you missing? Probably not him exactly. It's more the feeling of having someone loving you unconditionally and someone special in your life that fills the time. It's having someone to cuddle and talk to, someone you can be yourself with. And you'll find that with someone else in time. It may take a while but you WILL. Getting over someone is difficult but it does happen, time is the best healer, i know that's so cliche but it honestly is. Good luck to you, go out and have a good time, and one day you'll meet another person who can fill that void, until then, have fun, life is just too short to waste it moping after someone else xxx

That is so true, well said! :biggrin:

x

Reply 12

El Scotto

15

Anonymous

My ex broke up with me almost 4 months ago. I did all those thing people tell you to do even you want to get over someone. Like stop talking/seeing them, try not to think about them, get rid of all things that remind you of them, keep yourself busy, start a new hobby, keep reminding herself about the bad things they did to you, encourage yourself that you have good qualities, etc...

I've been doing all of that. All of it, and it seems like my mind is a broken record that keeps replaying what happened, what he said, random moments in our relationship, things he did, over and over. I work and I'll be going back to uni soon so I have more than enough to keep me busy, but why can't a forget him? I feel so hurt.

We broke up because we wern't getting on at all and it seemed the only thing to do, we both agreed we would try again but he seemed to get over me so quickly and didn't want to get back together.

He never ever texts or calls me, its always me trying to get hold of him, but if i don't he wont text or ring me, and he doesn't want to see me, even to be friends.

We were together about 3 years, how can he just cut me off like this? He says there's no one else, i just want him back! :frown:

Its hurting me SO much.

personally I think it takes the same amount of time you've been with someone to get over them. you've only been split up a small propotion of the time you've spent together. ya just have to get on with things.

Reply 13

Hana_87

16

Carl1982

Trouble is i don't mean this is sound harsh or horrible but he's not responding to your texts he clearly wants nothing to do with you, it also shows what an idiot he is, you deserve better.

Thankyou. <3

Reply 14

Hana_87

16

Ooops i just revealed who i am, haha! Thanks everyone all the same, i value the advice.

Reply 15

rocketboy86

5

there goes anonymity :P:
it does take time. time heals all wounds as they say. you might just have to stick it out... :frown:

Reply 16

Hana_87

16

rocketboy86

there goes anonymity :P:

I know, i'm so stupid :rolleyes:

Reply 17

username47781

20

Lilly_May

I know, i'm so stupid :rolleyes:

i wouldn;t worry about that, one thing i will say is yes it will take time to move on but you will feel the benefits of not having that idiot in your life, he will be the one who will never be happy, and one day you will get someone who does actually appreciate you.

Reply 18

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

My ex broke up with me almost 4 months ago. I did all those thing people tell you to do even you want to get over someone. Like stop talking/seeing them, try not to think about them, get rid of all things that remind you of them, keep yourself busy, start a new hobby, keep reminding herself about the bad things they did to you, encourage yourself that you have good qualities, etc...

I've been doing all of that. All of it, and it seems like my mind is a broken record that keeps replaying what happened, what he said, random moments in our relationship, things he did, over and over. I work and I'll be going back to uni soon so I have more than enough to keep me busy, but why can't a forget him? I feel so hurt.

We broke up because we wern't getting on at all and it seemed the only thing to do, we both agreed we would try again but he seemed to get over me so quickly and didn't want to get back together.

He never ever texts or calls me, its always me trying to get hold of him, but if i don't he wont text or ring me, and he doesn't want to see me, even to be friends.

We were together about 3 years, how can he just cut me off like this? He says there's no one else, i just want him back! :frown:

Its hurting me SO much.

OMG! I'm in EXACTLY the same position as u.... it'd be so nice to actually talk to u about this, as we both know what we're going through... Is there any way we can talk coz i know ur anonymous but...

Reply 19

Anonymous #3

Okay, I'm quite experienced in this now since its now the 8th month I have been separated from my girlfirend after seeing her for a number of years.

We split up in December 05 against my wishes, but ended up calling it off myself as it was just getting obvious. Wanted it to remain amicable; never was going to end like that. She lost all her compassion and I lost a lot of respect for her the few weeks after. What she done and how she went about it, I decided I never wanted to speak to her again.

A few months down the line she still tries to contact me, through various ways. I left her life (I mean literally everything), dropped contact with friends etc. She hadn't long text me again, and I reluctantly replied stating of her disrespect, her sudden uncaring and total disregard for the many years we had together. She replied stating how she was extremely sorry etc, and she can understand if I never want to speak to her again.

I don't, and you know what? It hurts like hell, every day I think about her, every day I wish we were back together, especially since we were both so young when we met and the fact that she was also a virgin meant it was a relationship not to be taken lightly in my eyes.

So why do I resist her email and text and meeting up? - Because if she really wanted to, she can find me, she can make it up, she can make what happened history. If I done that, I would make it a priority to do whatever I can to get her back. I'm not saying get engaged lol, but if you two had a respecting relationship, then its really up to him. He knows where you are, and he would try to get back if he really wanted to.

He's not an idiot, so whoever said that is trying to make you feel better. Just get on with life, work hard and try and come out the other end a better person. It will hurt a lot, an awful lot if you really cared and had a great relationship for years, but try and move on. It may be that against your wishes in a few years time you will bump into him, graduated, doing well for yourself, and something may reignite, however much you don't want it to happen.

Oh - don't go and sleep with anyone, because that really doesn't help, believe me. In fact, it makes it 5-times worse, because you end up thinkingh of him that 5-times more and realising you have just degraded yourself even further.

Hope this helps :smile:

I just can't get over him.

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