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    My dad died when i was 6 months old. My mom would never tell me how he died and I never met my fathers side of the family until i was 14.

    Me and my mom dont talk about my dad at all, when we go to his grave we dont say much.. she just leaves me to it and waits for me. We dont really have a close relationship to talk about things, when i was 16 i approached her to ask how she died and she said i wasnt old enough to know. That was the end of that conversation.

    Then when i was 18 i found some newspaper clippings poking out of a box in our study room and i decided to see what they were. Low and behold they were about my fathers death, saying how he died and where he was and what he was doing. It was also then, via the newspaper clipping, that i found out that my dad had a son with another woman. It then dawned upon me that it means i have an older half-brother.

    I dont know how to tell my mom i know how my dad died and question her about my half-brother, she nor anybody else has ever mentioned a word to me about it and i feel betrayed by them. Its playing on my mind but i dont want to cause an argument with my family and resent them for keeping my fathers death and my brother from me. I desperately want to find my brother but the newspaper never mentioned his, nor his mothers name..

    How do i cope with this secret? its tearing me up inside.
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    First of all I'm sorry for what you're going through.
    I think that the best thing for you to do is to talk to your mother. You say you feel a sense of betrayal that she has not shared this information with you, however she may see this very differently, feeling that she is protecting you. When we are young our parents need to make decisions for us and your mum obviously thought that not telling you was the right decision. It may be hard for her to realise that you are older now and need to start making your own decisions and need to know about your family history. You need to explain your feelings to her: that you want to learn more about your father and brother and that it is doing you more harm then good not knowing this information.
    I hope this helps you, good luck.
 
 
 
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