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    I'm gonna start freshmen year so I'd like some advice
    Which things do you regret doing/not doing at uni ?
    What would you do looking back ?
    Discuss
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    Don't slack off first term you will fall behind quickly!
    Also try to make friends as early as possible the longer you leave it the harder is gets because everyone is already in their little groups.
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    (Original post by SlaveEarth)
    I'm gonna start freshmen year so I'd like some advice
    Which things do you regret doing/not doing at uni ?
    What would you do looking back ?
    Discuss
    It's not high school in America... It's Freshers.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Don't slack off first term you will fall behind quickly!
    Also try to make friends as early as possible the longer you leave it the harder is gets because everyone is already in their little groups.
    Wrong. You should be secure enough to be by yourself and not be forced into student politics and clique behaviour. I made good mates and I was not part of any of that cliquey bull****. Makes me cringe.
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    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    Wrong. You should be secure enough to be by yourself and not be forced into student politics and clique behaviour. I made good mates and I was not part of any of that cliquey bull****. Makes me cringe.
    That's not at all what I meant.

    It had nothing to do with me being myself, just once people have already made friends and have secure friendship group they are less inclined to reach out and be as inviting to new people as they would have been in the first week or 2 of uni because they were still trying to make friends then.

    It had nothing to do with cliques don't put words in my mouth.
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    I regret not joining archery in 1st year. I wasted a whole year when I could have been making great friends and doing what I love. Definitely go out and join all the societies and clubs you want to.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    That's not at all what I meant.

    It had nothing to do with me being myself, just once people have already made friends and have secure friendship group they are less inclined to reach out and be as inviting to new people as they would have been in the first week or 2 of uni because they were still trying to make friends then.

    It had nothing to do with cliques don't put words in my mouth.

    You just contradicted yourself there. Is this not the whole idea of a clique? They close themselves off into their own sub-societies? Would you really want to be friends with people who dismiss new people so quickly just because they are in their comfort zone? It strikes me as being fundamentally lacking in maturity.
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    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    Wrong. You should be secure enough to be by yourself and not be forced into student politics and clique behaviour. I made good mates and I was not part of any of that cliquey bull****. Makes me cringe.
    So you went through uni with no friends?

    I think the point she made was that when you first go to uni, no one knows each other. So if you get in there quickly, you'll make friendships during the stage when they form (first few weeks). Leave it any longer and things become difficult.
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    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    You just contradicted yourself there. Is this not the whole idea of a clique? They close themselves off into their own sub-societies? Would you really want to be friends with people who dismiss new people so quickly just because they are in their comfort zone? It strikes me as being fundamentally lacking in maturity.
    I think you're still stuck in high school mate. :rolleyes:

    They didn't close themselves of completely it just made it more difficult, and I don't blame them or find them immature because they were no longer trying to make friends, they weren't ruling out new friends they just weren't actively looking for more of them.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    That's not at all what I meant.

    It had nothing to do with me being myself, just once people have already made friends and have secure friendship group they are less inclined to reach out and be as inviting to new people as they would have been in the first week or 2 of uni because they were still trying to make friends then.

    It had nothing to do with cliques don't put words in my mouth.

    If that's the case then they need to grow up and stop acting like a bunch of *****y 14 years old girls and start acting like adults.
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    (Original post by Last Day Lepers)
    If that's the case then they need to grow up and stop acting like a bunch of high school "it girls".
    For god sakes people keep completely misinterpreting what I am saying.
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    (Original post by Michael!)
    So you went through uni with no friends?

    I think the point she made was that when you first go to uni, no one knows each other. So if you get in there quickly, you'll make friendships during the stage when they form (first few weeks). Leave it any longer and things become difficult.
    I didn't set myself a limited timeframe unlike others. It is not sensible. I looked around me and saw how people interacted, and I made reasoned decisions on who I wanted to associate with based on which friends would benefit me the most.

    Call me shallow or whatever, but I don't believe university kids are the most trustworthy of characters in the first place. So I may as well choose the most beneficial people to befriend.


    I did very well in university.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    For god sakes people keep completely misinterpreting what I am saying.

    Well perhaps it's the way you said it because what you said sounded childish.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    For god sakes people keep completely misinterpreting what I am saying.
    I have absolutely no idea why people are going against what you're saying. It's simply common sense.
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    (Original post by Last Day Lepers)
    Well perhaps it's the way you said it because what you said sounded childish.
    It really did not sound childish, people are just quick to jump on negative nonsense.
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    (Original post by Michael!)
    I have absolutely no idea why people are going against what you're saying. It's simply common sense.
    Humans, they love to argue.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    I think you're still stuck in high school mate. :rolleyes:

    They didn't close themselves of completely it just made it more difficult, and I don't blame them or find them immature because they were no longer trying to make friends, they weren't ruling out new friends they just weren't actively looking for more of them.

    Friendship is a two way thing. If the new person seeking to be friends is doing all the running there would most likely be a uneven distribution of respect in the first place. Not a good way to start, especially for female friendship groups for girls. With a male though, very easy to play the university social system, we don't try and cut each other up socially like the girls do (who lets be honest, are still stuck in girls school mentalities with their female counterparts).
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Humans, they love to argue.

    ...............right, still doesn't explain what you meant by your comment.
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    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    Friendship is a two way thing. If the new person seeking to be friends is doing all the running there would most likely be a uneven distribution of respect in the first place. Not a good way to start, especially for female friendship groups for girls. With a male though, very easy to play the university social system, we don't try and cut each other up socially like the girls do (who lets be honest, are still stuck in girls school mentalities with their female counterparts).
    My god listen to yourself, you're arguing over nothing.

    For starters someone has to make the first move, in my case it had to be me because I had missed a lot of the first month of university people had already settled in (not in a *****y cliquey way, they were just already settled and attending lectures with the people they knew, if you find something wrong with that then that's nonsense that's like saying how dare you go shopping with your friends that's so cliquey why don't you go shopping with that person you saw in the street).

    I have no interest in this nonsense of "playing the social system" that's just ridiculous and like you're trying to stay in high school. Also not all girls are crazy *****es like that, though all but two of my friends are male.
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    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    I didn't set myself a limited timeframe unlike others. It is not sensible. I looked around me and saw how people interacted, and I made reasoned decisions on who I wanted to associate with based on which friends would benefit me the most.

    Call me shallow or whatever, but I don't believe university kids are the most trustworthy of characters in the first place. So I may as well choose the most beneficial people to befriend.


    I did very well in university.
    That's completely irrelevant. It's just basic social interaction. Groups form when a bunch of strangers meet for the first time.

    You can obviously make friends later on, but the easiest way to make friends is to meet people during the early stages when you're all in the same boat.

    What you do is fine and if that's how you do things then that's great. But it's irrelevant because what Sophie has said and what I have said is correct. I don't see how you can debate it if I'm honest.
 
 
 
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