Lonely at Christmas...

My boyfriend is an international student - he came here from Canada but his parents live in Malaysia. He's going to see them for 3 weeks in September, and his parents paid the £600 ish airfare. Basically what they've now said is that he can't go home in December because they don't wanna pay the airfare again (his parents earn approx £400,000 between them...thats converted directly into £ so it's not like they really really are struggling for cash). I'm a home student living in Notts and obviously I wanna spend Christmas with my family - last year I went to Tunisia with my mum and brother at Christmas so didn't see the rest of my family as I would usually.

So my question is do you think I should maybe ask my mum if she would mind my boyfriend coming and spending Christmas Eve - Boxing Day with us? I spoke to my nan (we're very close) and she said she was brought up to believe that Christmas was about helping those who needed it, along with the other obvious things. I really hate the thought of him sat in his student house on Christmas day with no presents to open, no christmas dinner to eat and no-one else there to wish him merry christmas cos his (also international) housemates will all have gone home.

I feel so confused, cos if my mum says no there's no way I can make it up there to see him on Christmas day, obviously, cos I'll then be sacrificing Christmas myself and that defeats the object - plus there's little to no transport running on that day...

ARGH :frown:

Reply 1

HeStoleMyCrayon

do it, your mum would be pretty cold if she didnt let him

Reply 2

SianyLou

OP

10

what would your mum or dad say if you asked for a friend/boyfriend over on christmas day...i asked my mum a while a go in a kinda hypothetical way...and she said "christmas is for family"

Reply 3

JamieInPompey

6

My dad would say yes in those kind of circumstances, of course you could always just blackmail them by saying well if he cant come then there is no way i can leave him by himself, so im not coming which would probably work.

Reply 4

Robcampo

6

yes, if you are close to him, i would class my gf as 'family', and they would be welcomed with open arms!!!

Christmas ALL together, surely your mum will let him, many many people think badly about their parents, they wont let me do this/that etc. but whern you speak to them, chsances are they will.!

Anyway, thanks for getting me in the christmas mood :biggrin:

Reply 5

SianyLou

OP

10

no problem. i had a few probs with my boyfriend, ie we went thru a rough patch and my mum is big on holding grudges, despite everything being more than great now. fingers crossed - least my nan's on my side! :biggrin:

Reply 6

Zafda

8

yeah, i don't see why it'd cause anyone any issues.
christmas is the family time of the year, and its a great opportunity for your boyfriend to mingle with the family.

i'm sure they wouldn't mind, it'd be odd if they did..

Reply 7

decoy

Yeah ask her, I think my mum would be chuffed if I decided to bring someone else round at Christmas. This is yet to happen though.

Reply 8

Robcampo

6

all round to nans at xmas???
or maybe get her to have a word with your mum...

Reply 9

SianyLou

OP

10

my nan lives with my auntie...out of the question. im just scared - my mum is v temperamental. its a horrible thought, someone being alone at christmas...makes me feel all sad inside :frown:

Reply 10

frost105

14

No harm in asking. My mum used to work all xmas and I spent xmas day with my friends family and we had a ball!

Reply 11

emily87

9

babynessontoast

my nan lives with my auntie...out of the question. im just scared - my mum is v temperamental. its a horrible thought, someone being alone at christmas...makes me feel all sad inside :frown:

Why not try the 'his parents are useless, I feel so bad for him, all abandoned at Xmas, and it'd mean so much to me/him if you 'adopted' him over Xmas and showed him that some parents, ie you are awesome'. Appeal to her mothering instincts and simultaneously flatter with 'you are such an awesome mum'.

Reply 12

Sasuke!

14

just tell him to com eover, i mean he is your boyfriend after all, its "outers" (havent used that work for years) if she didnt allow him to come

Reply 13

SianyLou

OP

10

his parents are pretty sucky...pffft

Reply 14

squigaletta

my bf has his own family 20mins away from where i live but he still came round at christmas

Reply 15

Two Tone

9

You can always ask - I would certainly say yes

Reply 16

jpowell

15

What is stopping you from asking? Don't ask for our permission :biggrin:

, go for it!

Reply 17

SianyLou

OP

10

i just wondered about what other people thought their parents reactions would be. also, if everyone said on here "no no christmas is for family, shes quite right to say no" then i wouldnt bring it up again....

Reply 18

Snowfall

10

Like others have said, there's no harm in asking. 2 x'mases ago, I invited a friend from uni who wasn't able to go home for x'mas to Japan, and my brother invited his best friend from uni who wasn't going back home (Hong Kong) for x'mas. We had a blast. One of the best christmases ever. Saying that, as I'm Japanese, x'mas is not that much of a big deal..

Reply 19

bunthulhu

14

babynessontoast

My boyfriend is an international student - he came here from Canada but his parents live in Malaysia. He's going to see them for 3 weeks in September, and his parents paid the £600 ish airfare. Basically what they've now said is that he can't go home in December because they don't wanna pay the airfare again (his parents earn approx £400,000 between them...thats converted directly into £ so it's not like they really really are struggling for cash). I'm a home student living in Notts and obviously I wanna spend Christmas with my family - last year I went to Tunisia with my mum and brother at Christmas so didn't see the rest of my family as I would usually.

So my question is do you think I should maybe ask my mum if she would mind my boyfriend coming and spending Christmas Eve - Boxing Day with us? I spoke to my nan (we're very close) and she said she was brought up to believe that Christmas was about helping those who needed it, along with the other obvious things. I really hate the thought of him sat in his student house on Christmas day with no presents to open, no christmas dinner to eat and no-one else there to wish him merry christmas cos his (also international) housemates will all have gone home.

I feel so confused, cos if my mum says no there's no way I can make it up there to see him on Christmas day, obviously, cos I'll then be sacrificing Christmas myself and that defeats the object - plus there's little to no transport running on that day...

ARGH :frown:

Yeah definitely ask if he can come; considering the circumstances I think it'd be mean if your mom said no!

Lonely at Christmas...

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