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An odd insecurity about people (men in particular) Watch

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    I don't think I'm socially inadequate - I used to be a lot more when I was younger. I'm able to go to parties where I'm in a room of people I don't know and find ways to talk with them. I do have friends.

    The thing is, I always have the feeling that men just... dislike me being near them?

    I'm not... unattractive, I think. I've had partners. I'm rather short and petite, always try to initiate conversation, smile, laugh, be interested in people. When it comes to guys, they mainly humour me with a line or two, then turn away and talk with their friends, shifting away from me. I've had men answer "Oh, I'm seeing someone" when I ask them how they are!? I just feel that I'm always in the way like some annoying fly. I've had men say "no I don't know" straight up when I ask them a question.

    The thing is, I'm not loud by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not too chatty - in fact, people have told me that I need to give more of myself away. When I do that, I feel that they just want me to get out of their space. It happens with men and women, but an 80/20 split. I've been single for 5 years now, and with the way men treat me, you can see why.

    Am I doing something wrong or is it them? Should I just not talk to men unless they talk to me first? I'm pretty sure they wouldn't initiate anything.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't think I'm socially inadequate - I used to be a lot more when I was younger. I'm able to go to parties where I'm in a room of people I don't know and find ways to talk with them. I do have friends.

    The thing is, I always have the feeling that men just... dislike me being near them?

    I'm not... unattractive, I think. I've had partners. I'm rather short and petite, always try to initiate conversation, smile, laugh, be interested in people. When it comes to guys, they mainly humour me with a line or two, then turn away and talk with their friends, shifting away from me. I've had men answer "Oh, I'm seeing someone" when I ask them how they are!? I just feel that I'm always in the way like some annoying fly. I've had men say "no I don't know" straight up when I ask them a question.

    The thing is, I'm not loud by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not too chatty - in fact, people have told me that I need to give more of myself away. When I do that, I feel that they just want me to get out of their space. It happens with men and women, but an 80/20 split. I've been single for 5 years now, and with the way men treat me, you can see why.

    Am I doing something wrong or is it them? Should I just not talk to men unless they talk to me first? I'm pretty sure they wouldn't initiate anything.
    Hey I'm sorry you are feeling like that. By the sounds of things it really isn't you. Sometimes people who aren't loud can be ignored which is sad but it sounds like you are being perfectly nice.

    The only thing I can think of is that if you aren't very chatty but try to "give more of yourself away" it might be coming off as such...that it isn't your true personality you are showing, I'm not sure though. All I can say is just be yourself, if you're not that chatty don't force yourself to chat to everyone, do what you would like to do (if you want to chat to a certain guy go for it, or if you want to wait til a guy approaches you go for that).

    That is me really really trying to find a reason but apart from that one (which is a maybe anyway :P ) you sound really nice and I can't see why people wouldn't talk to you. Just know, it isn't something wrong with you so don't think that, keep trying. You will start talking to people

    I hope this helped (sorry if it didn't :P )
 
 
 
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