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I don't know what to do - youve messed up my head - Someone help Watch

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    Hi guys,

    This has been my last resort and really need some advice!

    Basically, late last year I met a guy who was in the forces. He was only a year older than me (I was 19 and he was 20). We were close for a while until we then officially got together. I was a virgin at this time and he knew how much losing it meant to me. We waited about 3 months and then everything felt right. So the obvious happened...two weeks later he stopped talking to me...overnight he had just changed...baring in mind he was still at his camp, I assumed he was busy. So I left it days and days, which then lead to 2 and a half weeks with nothing....I then had become worried as I knew what him and his friends do when they go out clubbing, I tried contacting him through phone and email, but still got nothing. Then when I finally did, it was the most blunt response I have ever received. He then never bothered replying to my response. I sent him another email a few days later as he wasn't answering his phone and asked him if we were okay and if I had done something. He then responded bluntly yet again and didn't really give me an answer as to whether or not we were together or not. Baring in mind I had just lost my virginity to someone I thought was special, I was pretty distraught.

    After not getting a straight answer and him not bothering to reply to me, I then sent him an email the day before he was leaving to go on exercise. Since then I never got a response. This was since march. As you can guess I am very angry and pissed off the fact that I allowed someone to do such a thing. We only slept together once and considering that my virginity meant so much to me, I feel that I can't trust anyone now, and honestly feel like becoming a nun lol. I'm taking a year and a bit out of dating now until I go off to university. But the fact that I havnt been able to let off my frustrations to him I just constantly feel angry and irritated by everyone when they do certain things. This whole situation has just made me such an angry person and I keep taking it out on the people around me. I just want to be the old bubbly happy and funny me...Can someone please give me some advice on how to move on and return the old me!!

    Thank you for taking the time to read this - sorry its a bloody long essay haha!

    I will appreciate any help, thanks again!
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    He must of been disappointed with the sex after waiting for three months, or he might have found someone else.

    Move on he clearly isn't interested anymore.
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    Sounds like he was going long to get what he wanted, which was sex, now he's got he's off...
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    (Original post by iEatMuFFiNS)
    Sounds like he was going long to get what he wanted, which was sex, now he's got he's off...
    why would you wait three months though...that's what I can't comprehend
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    (Original post by Black Cat)
    He must of been disappointed with the sex after waiting for three months, or he might have found someone else.

    Move on he clearly isn't interested anymore.
    I've moved on from him, I couldn't give two ****s about him. It's the fact he has made me an angry person because now I can't trust anyone and I always see the negative in people now.
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    (Original post by PerkyB)
    why would you wait three months though...that's what I can't comprehend
    Maybe he was playing the long game because you wouldn't give it up any sooner than 3 months..?
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    (Original post by iEatMuFFiNS)
    Maybe he was playing the long game because you wouldn't give it up any sooner than 3 months..?
    Mmm true, I just don't really know how to get over how I feel now
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    (Original post by PerkyB)
    Mmm true, I just don't really know how to get over how I feel now
    :hugs:
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      Ah i'm really sorry to hear that the worst thing about it is he hasn't given you closure, which is obv why it's still on your mind. The whole waiting 3 months thing is a bit strange, but maybe he met someone else or lost interest.

      as for the whole returning to your old self, this experience will naturally make you more guarded in the future - which is not necessarily a bad thing. But just try to do things that make you happy, and eventually you'll meet someone that will make you forget how **** this guy has treated you..

      I hope you feel happier soon
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      (Original post by PerkyB)
      I've moved on from him, I couldn't give two ****s about him. It's the fact he has made me an angry person because now I can't trust anyone and I always see the negative in people now.
      Get well soon.
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      Never been there myself but this seems like the kind of experience a lot of girls who sleep with guys in the forces have - they move around a lot and just get it where they can.

      Losing your virginity is given this massive hype and it's a shame because if you're unfortunate enough to lose it in the wrong circumstances it leaves you feeling like ****.

      All you can do is learn from your mistakes and keep in mind that it was highly unlikely you were actually going to end up with this guy anyway. Just remember that not all guys are the same - be cautious, but don't let this experience control your life.
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      (Original post by xOHarriet)
      Never been there myself but this seems like the kind of experience a lot of girls who sleep with guys in the forces have - they move around a lot and just get it where they can.

      Losing your virginity is given this massive hype and it's a shame because if you're unfortunate enough to lose it in the wrong circumstances it leaves you feeling like ****.

      All you can do is learn from your mistakes and keep in mind that it was highly unlikely you were actually going to end up with this guy anyway. Just remember that not all guys are the same - be cautious, but don't let this experience control your life.
      PRSOM
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      (Original post by PerkyB)
      Hi guys,

      This has been my last resort and really need some advice!

      Basically, late last year I met a guy who was in the forces. He was only a year older than me (I was 19 and he was 20). We were close for a while until we then officially got together. I was a virgin at this time and he knew how much losing it meant to me. We waited about 3 months and then everything felt right. So the obvious happened...two weeks later he stopped talking to me...overnight he had just changed...baring in mind he was still at his camp, I assumed he was busy. So I left it days and days, which then lead to 2 and a half weeks with nothing....I then had become worried as I knew what him and his friends do when they go out clubbing, I tried contacting him through phone and email, but still got nothing. Then when I finally did, it was the most blunt response I have ever received. He then never bothered replying to my response. I sent him another email a few days later as he wasn't answering his phone and asked him if we were okay and if I had done something. He then responded bluntly yet again and didn't really give me an answer as to whether or not we were together or not. Baring in mind I had just lost my virginity to someone I thought was special, I was pretty distraught.

      After not getting a straight answer and him not bothering to reply to me, I then sent him an email the day before he was leaving to go on exercise. Since then I never got a response. This was since march. As you can guess I am very angry and pissed off the fact that I allowed someone to do such a thing. We only slept together once and considering that my virginity meant so much to me, I feel that I can't trust anyone now, and honestly feel like becoming a nun lol. I'm taking a year and a bit out of dating now until I go off to university. But the fact that I havnt been able to let off my frustrations to him I just constantly feel angry and irritated by everyone when they do certain things. This whole situation has just made me such an angry person and I keep taking it out on the people around me. I just want to be the old bubbly happy and funny me...Can someone please give me some advice on how to move on and return the old me!!

      Thank you for taking the time to read this - sorry its a bloody long essay haha!

      I will appreciate any help, thanks again!
      Find a new guy...take pics of u two together...it'll make him jelous...he might come running back..and then you can tell him to piss off. simples.

      Sounds childish...but it's an amazing solution to make yourself less angry - trust me I went through the same thing with a girl, got blanked, so took revenge. Vendetta sure is sweet.
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      Haha the thing is I have no contact with him now, not do I want to. I get where you're coming from though. I'm staying away from dating until university now, just need to get my head together :-) thank you!


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      (Original post by PerkyB)
      I've moved on from him, I couldn't give two ****s about him. It's the fact he has made me an angry person because now I can't trust anyone and I always see the negative in people now.
      Not all guys are the same
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      He might be married. Typical soldier anyway.
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      (Original post by PerkyB)
      Hi guys,

      This has been my last resort and really need some advice!

      Basically, late last year I met a guy who was in the forces. He was only a year older than me (I was 19 and he was 20). We were close for a while until we then officially got together. I was a virgin at this time and he knew how much losing it meant to me. We waited about 3 months and then everything felt right. So the obvious happened...two weeks later he stopped talking to me...overnight he had just changed...baring in mind he was still at his camp, I assumed he was busy. So I left it days and days, which then lead to 2 and a half weeks with nothing....I then had become worried as I knew what him and his friends do when they go out clubbing, I tried contacting him through phone and email, but still got nothing. Then when I finally did, it was the most blunt response I have ever received. He then never bothered replying to my response. I sent him another email a few days later as he wasn't answering his phone and asked him if we were okay and if I had done something. He then responded bluntly yet again and didn't really give me an answer as to whether or not we were together or not. Baring in mind I had just lost my virginity to someone I thought was special, I was pretty distraught.

      After not getting a straight answer and him not bothering to reply to me, I then sent him an email the day before he was leaving to go on exercise. Since then I never got a response. This was since march. As you can guess I am very angry and pissed off the fact that I allowed someone to do such a thing. We only slept together once and considering that my virginity meant so much to me, I feel that I can't trust anyone now, and honestly feel like becoming a nun lol. I'm taking a year and a bit out of dating now until I go off to university. But the fact that I havnt been able to let off my frustrations to him I just constantly feel angry and irritated by everyone when they do certain things. This whole situation has just made me such an angry person and I keep taking it out on the people around me. I just want to be the old bubbly happy and funny me...Can someone please give me some advice on how to move on and return the old me!!

      Thank you for taking the time to read this - sorry its a bloody long essay haha!

      I will appreciate any help, thanks again!
      When I read that last resort bit in the thread section I thought this was really a serious problem. I find out it's basically about girl who lost her virginity to a guy who she thinks should stay with her forever.

      The guys in the forces his young all he wants to do is get laid you were there for him he spent time with you, also you were a virgin so maybe even more of a incentive for him to want to have sex with you, the guy never put a ring on your finger.

      Oh he knew how much you felt about him and your virginity he probably told you he really liked you as well and you believed it, because women love romance you being a virgin as well definitely clouded your mind don't worry it happens to non virgins and may even happen to you again it's life.

      I like the bit were you stated he changed hence why I highlighted it in bold you act as if he changed into some beast, very dramatic its really normal male behaviour some guys stay with girls after sex some guys just want sex and nothing to do with you after sex you just got to move on.

      Oh you you thought he was special, nope he is just a guy who like every other guy from time to time enjoys sex with a woman and you were there for him which I am sure he appreciated probably told a few lies to you on the way to bed though which once again is normal when it comes to courting.

      What are you angry about when you state you allowed him to do such a thing? you realise you used the word allowed which means it was consensual on your part the fella did nothing wrong he wanted sex you wanted sex and you both enjoyed that time you had together.

      Ok it was bad of him not to contact you and maybe break it off but is there really an easy way of doing it perhaps he thought it was the best way to break it off with you at least you made him wait three months.

      This is life some people will treat you bad whether intentionally or not some will always treat you with respect so of course as others have said don't think all guys are the same.

      I think best thing for you now is to just live life and since you now apparently don't trust men just try and be friends with them first. Whats odd though is that like many girls I am sure you have a really good male friend who treats you right and with respect this friend probably is even attracted to you and does not let you know.

      You probably would never open up to sexually to this friend, yet a stranger pops up and you give yourself sexually to him. I think lots of girls have to evaluate their own choices and how they operate if they did these situations you find yourself in were you feel used would happen less.

      Instead for some reason some girls find it odd to go further with a male friend but as soon as the fella you just met comes along you give your all to him and are surprised when he loses disinterest after sex.

      Also please understand I am not simply talking about mr nice guy here within your circle of friends, I am talking about any male friend you get on with and could possibly find attractive who has treated you with respect why not try and give romance with him a chance. At least if it does go bad you can talk it over or you could even make a friends with benefit arrangement instead of getting yourself into this emotional roller coaster were you really only have yourself to blame. Just a thought when it comes to potential relationships.
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      (Original post by Mancini)
      When I read that last resort bit in the thread section I thought this was really a serious problem. I find out it's basically about girl who lost her virginity to a guy who she thinks should stay with her forever.

      The guys in the forces his young all he wants to do is get laid you were there for him he spent time with you, also you were a virgin so maybe even more of a incentive for him to want to have sex with you, the guy never put a ring on your finger.

      Oh he knew how much you felt about him and your virginity he probably told you he really liked you as well and you believed it, because women love romance you being a virgin as well definitely clouded your mind don't worry it happens to non virgins and may even happen to you again it's life.

      I like the bit were you stated he changed hence why I highlighted it in bold you act as if he changed into some beast, very dramatic its really normal male behaviour some guys stay with girls after sex some guys just want sex and nothing to do with you after sex you just got to move on.

      Oh you you thought he was special, nope he is just a guy who like every other guy from time to time enjoys sex with a woman and you were there for him which I am sure he appreciated probably told a few lies to you on the way to bed though which once again is normal when it comes to courting.

      What are you angry about when you state you allowed him to do such a thing? you realise you used the word allowed which means it was consensual on your part the fella did nothing wrong he wanted sex you wanted sex and you both enjoyed that time you had together.

      Ok it was bad of him not to contact you and maybe break it off but is there really an easy way of doing it perhaps he thought it was the best way to break it off with you at least you made him wait three months.

      This is life some people will treat you bad whether intentionally or not some will always treat you with respect so of course as others have said don't think all guys are the same.

      I think best thing for you now is to just live life and since you now apparently don't trust men just try and be friends with them first. Whats odd though is that like many girls I am sure you have a really good male friend who treats you right and with respect this friend probably is even attracted to you and does not let you know.

      You probably would never open up to sexually to this friend, yet a stranger pops up and you give yourself sexually to him. I think lots of girls have to evaluate their own choices and how they operate if they did these situations you find yourself in were you feel used would happen less.

      Instead for some reason some girls find it odd to go further with a male friend but as soon as the fella you just met comes along you give your all to him and are surprised when he loses disinterest after sex.

      Also please understand I am not simply talking about mr nice guy here within your circle of friends, I am talking about any male friend you get on with and could possibly find attractive who has treated you with respect why not try and give romance with him a chance. At least if it does go bad you can talk it over or you could even make a friends with benefit arrangement instead of getting yourself into this emotional roller coaster were you really only have yourself to blame. Just a thought when it comes to potential relationships.

      No.i neber thought he would stay with me forever. I just thought he would have had the decency to end it properly rather than just suddenly cut off contact. So let's get that bit straight to begin with
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      (Original post by Mancini)
      When I read that last resort bit in the thread section I thought this was really a serious problem. I find out it's basically about girl who lost her virginity to a guy who she thinks should stay with her forever.

      The guys in the forces his young all he wants to do is get laid you were there for him he spent time with you, also you were a virgin so maybe even more of a incentive for him to want to have sex with you, the guy never put a ring on your finger.

      Oh he knew how much you felt about him and your virginity he probably told you he really liked you as well and you believed it, because women love romance you being a virgin as well definitely clouded your mind don't worry it happens to non virgins and may even happen to you again it's life.

      I like the bit were you stated he changed hence why I highlighted it in bold you act as if he changed into some beast, very dramatic its really normal male behaviour some guys stay with girls after sex some guys just want sex and nothing to do with you after sex you just got to move on.

      Oh you you thought he was special, nope he is just a guy who like every other guy from time to time enjoys sex with a woman and you were there for him which I am sure he appreciated probably told a few lies to you on the way to bed though which once again is normal when it comes to courting.

      What are you angry about when you state you allowed him to do such a thing? you realise you used the word allowed which means it was consensual on your part the fella did nothing wrong he wanted sex you wanted sex and you both enjoyed that time you had together.

      Ok it was bad of him not to contact you and maybe break it off but is there really an easy way of doing it perhaps he thought it was the best way to break it off with you at least you made him wait three months.

      This is life some people will treat you bad whether intentionally or not some will always treat you with respect so of course as others have said don't think all guys are the same.

      I think best thing for you now is to just live life and since you now apparently don't trust men just try and be friends with them first. Whats odd though is that like many girls I am sure you have a really good male friend who treats you right and with respect this friend probably is even attracted to you and does not let you know.

      You probably would never open up to sexually to this friend, yet a stranger pops up and you give yourself sexually to him. I think lots of girls have to evaluate their own choices and how they operate if they did these situations you find yourself in were you feel used would happen less.

      Instead for some reason some girls find it odd to go further with a male friend but as soon as the fella you just met comes along you give your all to him and are surprised when he loses disinterest after sex.

      Also please understand I am not simply talking about mr nice guy here within your circle of friends, I am talking about any male friend you get on with and could possibly find attractive who has treated you with respect why not try and give romance with him a chance. At least if it does go bad you can talk it over or you could even make a friends with benefit arrangement instead of getting yourself into this emotional roller coaster were you really only have yourself to blame. Just a thought when it comes to potential relationships.

      You ou really have got the wrong idea mate. For a start; none of what happened was my fault. Secondly, I never intended on being with him for the rest of my life - he should have had the audacity to respond back to me and end things maturely. Lastly, you don't know me nor my personal relationships - how do you know If I have or have not had a relationship with a male friend..so don't jump to conclusions that I havnt nor do women in general.

      Quite frankly I think what you just posted was disgusting and offensive to girls. It's disgusts me that you assume all 'virgins' are the same - so tbh you can stick your opinions where the sun don't shine.
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      (Original post by PerkyB)
      Hi guys,

      This has been my last resort and really need some advice!

      Basically, late last year I met a guy who was in the forces. He was only a year older than me (I was 19 and he was 20). We were close for a while until we then officially got together. I was a virgin at this time and he knew how much losing it meant to me. We waited about 3 months and then everything felt right. So the obvious happened...two weeks later he stopped talking to me...overnight he had just changed...baring in mind he was still at his camp, I assumed he was busy. So I left it days and days, which then lead to 2 and a half weeks with nothing....I then had become worried as I knew what him and his friends do when they go out clubbing, I tried contacting him through phone and email, but still got nothing. Then when I finally did, it was the most blunt response I have ever received. He then never bothered replying to my response. I sent him another email a few days later as he wasn't answering his phone and asked him if we were okay and if I had done something. He then responded bluntly yet again and didn't really give me an answer as to whether or not we were together or not. Baring in mind I had just lost my virginity to someone I thought was special, I was pretty distraught.

      After not getting a straight answer and him not bothering to reply to me, I then sent him an email the day before he was leaving to go on exercise. Since then I never got a response. This was since march. As you can guess I am very angry and pissed off the fact that I allowed someone to do such a thing. We only slept together once and considering that my virginity meant so much to me, I feel that I can't trust anyone now, and honestly feel like becoming a nun lol. I'm taking a year and a bit out of dating now until I go off to university. But the fact that I havnt been able to let off my frustrations to him I just constantly feel angry and irritated by everyone when they do certain things. This whole situation has just made me such an angry person and I keep taking it out on the people around me. I just want to be the old bubbly happy and funny me...Can someone please give me some advice on how to move on and return the old me!!

      Thank you for taking the time to read this - sorry its a bloody long essay haha!

      I will appreciate any help, thanks again!
      It's horrible to hear but the best thing is to move on, he obviously hasn't got your best interests to heart and knowing how much it meant to you, he shouldn't have just stopped talking to you because that's just totally unfair. Just do things for yourself, and take time to think about it and realize what's done is done, but you're better off without him I hope you're okay soon! x
     
     
     
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