I've just turned 21, graduated, got myself a teaching job and moved in with my long term boyfriend... but I find myself always feeling miserable and emotional. I don't understand why I am so upset all the time. Maybe I am depressed. But I will explain more so perhaps you'll understand why.
The most frustrating thing is that often don't know why I am grumpy, moody and upset. It just happens. I hate crying and being so unhappy all the time - especially because I used to be such a positive person.
A few things in particular are getting me down.
- I've moved to a whole new city, 2 hours drive away from my family who I am very close to.
- Since university ended I can't just pop over to see friends, or go out, or see them. I don't bump into anyone anymore. They've all moved back home and all my friends are miles away. We're losing contact because we hardly see each other now.
- Where I live, I know nobody. I have no friends here and I have no idea how to get to know anybody here. The only person I can see is my boyfriend who I live with. Which brings me to my next point,
- As my teaching job starts in September I have nothing to do in the daytime and nobody to see. My boyfriend works all day. I feel incredibly lonely with nothing to do and no way to spend my time. Days feel endless and I just find myself indoors, wasting the time away.
- I find myself questioning everything in my life. My relationship, my career, my goals. Nothing seems right anymore. But I think this is just because I am so unhappy.
I just feel alone and upset and I don't know how to deal with my emotions. I guess this is normal after finishing university? I just feel like I've gone from a free spirit at university with tons of friends, to a loner.
... and the ones that won't