Need help, friend is suicidal.

As above, we can't help you. You need so seek professional advice.

Suicide threads are not permitted in TSR - even those for "friends".

Note: I'm going to refer to my friend as SWIM.

It's incredibly normal to have suicidal thoughts when depressed. This does not mean that they are about to actually do it (though it can) and it certainly does not mean you automatically get to see a psychiatrist immediately or get sectioned.

A new job is a big source of stress but if your friend is getting help anyway and is not at great risk of actually hurting him/herself in the meantime and doesn't want to go off sick from a new job, then let him/her get on with it while being there to talk to if they need it. The stress of a new job declines fairly rapidly. It would be a great shame if he/she had to leave right now if it isn't necessary and then only have the memory of one of the most stressful parts of the job to remember and scare them next time they want to start a new job.

ask for help for yourself. I have had a friend that did this, and the only advice that I can offer is that it's different for everyone. Please do not take this on yourself, it is NOT your responsibility to ensure that SWIM stays alive. I know that it may feel like that, but it isn't. Asking for help for your own feelings is important too, to help you to deal with the pressure that this is putting on you. I never got any help after my friend was self-harming and it has affected me in countless ways. Please try and speak to someone about how you feel aswell as trying to get help for your friend. And try not to worry too much, at this point your friend has already seen a doctor and has asked for help, which is one of the main steps to actually getting help.
I hope everything turns out ok.

Thanks, I'm OK for the now, just really worried.


The problem is though that they aren't getting help for many weeks, which is a long time for someone that is suicidal.

If you don't mind me asking, how old is your friend? there may be someone at school or uni that they can speak to about accessing the right kind of help

We're not in school.

I was told by the suicidal person that they walked to a bridge and spent half an hour contemplating jumping off. This isn't just a simple thought. 7

The person isn't getting help. It will take over a month to see a consultant, in the meantime they have nothing to help them apart from me phoning everyday to ensure they are ok.

Getting over the stressful part of a job is one thing, but if it drive you to suicide then the job isn't worth doing.

Ok. Well at the moment, you've done all that you can do, and you're doing everything right. Just don't forget to take some time out every now and again, just for you, where you don't have to worry about her. I know that's easier said than done, but please try, because I know how it feels to be the friend and it's really not pleasant, and it's very difficult to get over if you're only living to keep her/him alive. You said that SWIM confided in you and another friend? Perhaps you should talk to them and see how they're dealing with it too. If they're in the same boat as you then perhaps you could work out a bit of a schedule of when each of you is spending time with SWIM or calling them. That way you know that someone is always watching out for SWIM, and you'll be able to have some downtime to really deal with your own feelings. I know when it was me, I just went on autopilot and took it all on myself, bandaging my friends wrists and encouraging her all the time. I didn't have any thought for my own feelings and after I had handed her off to the professionals I didn't get any help then either. I was depressed for roughly seven years without even realising it.

But the stages aren't 'go to GP - get referred to consultant'. The percentage of people with MH issues that ever get to see a consultant (or even a psychiatrist) is absolutely miniscule, so I can only assume your friend has seen multiple people/had multiple treatments prior to this point. The friend does need to contact the mental health team or their GP if they're so out of control of their own behaviour and are at risk. But you can't force them to go. You can only notify an ambulance etc if the friend tells you they're hurting themselves/about to hurt themselves right now, which I assume is not something that would necessarily happen, as it stands (though telling you about the bridge may have been them opening up and they may decide to reach out to you next time). The person may feel a bit betrayed and angry if you do this, but they will also feel very grateful soon after - they wouldn't be telling you if they really wanted to have to kill themselves (NB: not to be confused with them not being prepared to actually do it).

Cheers mate, I have talked to the other person and they see SWIM on a regular basis so they are taking it quite hard and I've had to kind of comfort them as well.

I'm fine emotionally for the moment at least. Like I said I'm just really worried. But I know you're right in saying there's not much I can do, but it's difficult to actually take that view.

I'll just need to take this situation as it comes and try to help SWIM as much as possible if I can.

They have been to their gp and the gp has referred them to a consultant. SWIM told me the appointment with them was in about 5 weeks. They have had treatment prior to this but it was last year and it was just a bit of counselling for depression no suicidal thoughts were involved.

Basically I'm worried SWIM isn't being honest with either me or SWIMS GP because this just doesn't add up.

It's quite possible that SWIM hasn't conveyed how desperate the situation is to the GP for fear of being told to come off work, or being told to go to hospital (then again, 5 weeks is not long to see a consultant psychiatrist so maybe the GP knows exactly how quickly SWIM needs to be seen).

Has SWIM told you that there were no suicidal thoughts involved when they had counselling for depression? Suicidal thoughts are par for the course with depression and I would honestly be surprised if SWIM hasn't had them before.

I'm glad that you're doing OK, but like I said, don't forget to stop an reassess from time to time. I thought that I was fine too! Yeah, maybe the other friend needs someone to talk to, just like you do. It's much easier when you have someone else to worry with about SWIM. My main concern is that you may feel that it's a secret that you have to keep because it's SWIM's secret and not yours. Try not to view it that way because SWIM has made it your secret too, you are allowed to share it if you feel the need to. Don't bottle it up.