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Am I using him?

my friend told me he really liked me and I told him that I had no feelings for him. But since then we have grown to become really really close friends (still no feelings in <i>that</i> way though) Im just getting slightly worried though becuase I know he still likes me lots and I don't know if thats only reason he hangs out with me and stuff. He also seems to do too much for me, like he always will come and pick me up if we are going somewhere so that I can have a drink, and he always takes me home. Or he will lend me money when I have very little (he lent me £40 the other day) and always buys me drinks when out and stuff.
Am I a bad person for letting him do all this? I genuinely really like him as a friend and we get on so well.

Reply 1

Tyler Durden

Tell him that. Then he can't be under the impression that you're spending time with him because you like him that way.

Reply 2

dh00001

i wouldnt realy say so as long as youre not leading him to belive you share his feelings or anything will ever come of them if he continues to act in this way though.
if you feel bad do the same for him every so often

Reply 3

Laursy

dunt let him lead himself on!!!!!

Reply 4

lou p lou

i dunno, it's really hard in this situation. i've had this problem with a guy i work with (who knows i have a serious bf) and when he tried it on with me and i got angry he tried to say i'd led him on because i was always friendly with him and texted him sometimes, even though i'd always been very clear that i didn't see him *that* way... just make it clear that your feelings towards him haven't changed

lou xxx

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

I've had a bad experience with a friend like this
When he phones you five times between 2-3 o clock in the morning, has left two emails, one comment and three messages on your myspace (all confessing his love for you) you realise you let him get too carried away with his imagination.

Make sure he knows where he stands, tell him you don't feel anything but friendship for him...don't make my mistake and turn a blind eye to what he might be feeling when you go out together or whatever.
If you let him know how you feel and don't lead him on

If you truely like him as a friend you're not using him.

Reply 6

username68316

Well as long as you're not making too many signals that could give him false hope, then it's not as if you're using him really is it? If he offers you things, is doing what you say, and you have made your position clear enough, then it's by no means your fault. You could always re-iterate your position to make sure

Reply 7

username51346

yes you are. good on you.

Reply 8

username47781

if your comfortable with him lending you money and buying you drinks, tell him.

Reply 9

Viscount_L

I don't think you're a bad person, but you should make sure he knows that you are pnly ever going to be friends. As while you may not think that you're leading him, in his own mind he may be thinking that he still has a chance with you.

Reply 10

suzzjj

well u seem v.close with him but i don't see where u r using him. if u like him as a just friend then make sure where he stands. and make this clear with him.

Reply 11

Adhsur

I think everything's fair as long as you both know where you stand. Tell him that you are worried he might take your friendship the wrong way, tell him that you are not in any way trying to take advantage of the fact that he likes you and make sure he knows that. And also make sure he tells you if he ever feels you ever give him the wrong impression. Once you have all that out in the open, any problems caused by his attention will be his fault not yours.

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